Dila Cakir

*This is a spoiler-free review.*

I’ve really been struggling with how to write this column. It’s nothing new; I often struggle. But rarely to this degree. I’m genuinely terrified to try tackling Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim’s (fill in the blank with any adjective you can think of) documentary featuring Theranos co-founder Elizabeth Holmes, “You Can See Everything.”

For starters, there’s the spoiler problem. It’s a jam-packed three-hour whirlwind, and it is better enjoyed without knowing its twists and turns. All you should know going in is that Elizabeth Holmes, at 19 years old, founded a revolutionary blood testing company called Theranos. She was known as the “medical Steve Jobs” until Theranos was exposed as one of the century’s largest fraud cases. In 2023, she invited Nathan Fielder, famed filmmaker and infamous weirdo, to document her life for the last 40-ish days before she was set to go to prison.

My bigger concern is that it feels like too big of a topic to even attempt to write about. It’s like how I wouldn’t attempt to write about God. I’m worried if I start writing, I won’t be able to stop. It’s probably blasphemy to compare this film to God. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. That’s how insane this thing is.

Before I get into everything, I want to make it incredibly clear that you should go see this. Even if you don’t know who any of the aforementioned people—besides God—are. Even if you don’t like documentaries. Even if you don’t respect my opinion. (That’s kind of messed up. What should I be doing better?) Go see this documentary.

Because this is not just a pop culture blip. Personally, I love a pop culture blip. Remember when we all cared about YouTube Rewinds? My all-time favorite YouTube Rewind moment was when the “Damn Daniel” guy did the Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen dance with KSI. I wonder how many alums have stopped reading this and are considering revoking their annual donations. Anyway, that glorious moment has tragically passed. No one rewatches those old videos, and they’re certainly a far cry from current pop culture relevance.

The opposite will happen with “You Can See Everything.”

Every day since my friends and I took the half-hour trip (I would have driven five hours) over to Falmouth to see this documentary, I think about it more and more. I truly believe that this film may be the defining film of the 2020s, perhaps even the 21st century. It’s a hilarious look at some strange people. It’s a horrifying mirror into what we enjoy. It’s a horny affair with a nude shower scene. It’s anything and everything you want it to be.

Above all, this film teaches us something about ourselves. What exactly? I’m not sure. So here are 11 potential lessons from “You Can See Everything.”

1. If you are trying to pull a master plot, don’t invite Nathan Fielder to be the documentarian. This one feels obvious.
2. You should never want to be like Elizabeth Holmes; she’s genuinely insane: Unfortunately, this film presented one of the best cases ever for not dropping out of college that my parents will inevitably use against me the next time I complain about school.
3. If you want to show the entire world your nude self, the documentary is not the medium for it. This moment may have gotten my biggest laugh of the night. Yikes.
4. If you come off as more of a villain than the person who invented Theranos, you’re doing something wrong. This doesn’t count as a spoiler because it could arguably be applied to multiple people. See the documentary to find out which ones.
5. Maybe we’re all evil for watching documentaries. That’s why I watch purely unintellectual slop.
6. If you happen to sit in the row behind all your friends and are unreachable to be slapped, don’t fall asleep and loudly snore during the back half of the movie. This one is just for my friend Elio Spagnuolo ’29.
7. I take it back—Elizabeth Holmes is a conniving genius. I cannot believe that after being convicted of defrauding people of hundreds of millions of dollars, she managed to trick me again.
8. Leaving the audience with more questions than answers is a sure-fire way to end friendships. Our rich debate on the car ride home quickly devolved into chaos, and I started to feel crazier than Elizabeth Holmes. Luckily, Elio occasionally tried to chime in, and the car would display rare unity in informing him he wasn’t allowed to have an opinion on anything.
9. We should all blink more. I never thought about how vital that was to being human until I saw this movie. I’m officially coming out against staring contests, staring off into space and “getting lost” in someone’s eyes.
10. Playing dumb is the best form of lying. As an audience member, it feels so good to sit back and laugh at the sheer stupidity of certain moments in this film. It makes you feel smarter. You quickly feel a lot dumber when you realize it might all be for show, and the people on screen are actually far smarter than you. Unfortunately, Elio didn’t get to experience this, so he takes the crown as dumber than all of us.
11. Elizabeth Holmes is everything I ever wanted to be. I don’t even know how I came to this conclusion. I need to do something else besides thinking about this documentary.

Alex Miller ’26 summed up my convoluted thoughts on this insane journey perfectly in his Letterboxd review, saying, “This is probably what people felt like watching ‘The Great Train Robbery’ or something idk like damn I didn’t know they could just do this.”

9.6/10