The Bowdoin Orient

When I returned to Bowdoin, I was flooded with a host of wonderful and nostalgic feelings, and of course the excitement of being a senior. Chatting away with friends who studied abroad while happily munching through my first Bowdoin meal never felt so good.

Whether or not women have always been able to climax during sex, they certainly can, and do, now. Medical professionals contend that every woman should be able to have an orgasm, if she wants to. Furthermore, many sex experts argue that a majority of women are perfectly capable of climaxing several times in a row. So what's the secret?

After a week of sexy consent stories, sexy e-mails, sexy sunglasses and even a sex etiquette dinner, I thought it was only appropriate to keep this sexy discussion rolling. So what about consent. What's it like at Bowdoin? Why does it matter? And most importantly, is it really that sexy? As with many students on this campus, I feel pretty knowledgeable about issues regarding sexual consent, particularly on a college campus. That said, I still but wanted to hear it from the perspective of some of Bowdoin's most widely-known sex educators, our very own Shana Natelson '10 and Brian Fry '10.

As I hurried into the cozy Wine Bar in downtown Portland, already 35 minutes late and discombobulated after a week with three midterms and an orgo quiz, I felt relieved that I was finally meeting up with one of my closest friends for a relaxing night. I was excited to reminisce with someone who feels like a sister to me after several months of not seeing each other. But alas, as with many of my close girlfriends, her sex questions poured in immediately. "So what should I do about this god damn dry spell, girl?," she said, between sips of pinot noir. To be perfectly honest, I really didn't have a good answer, at least not immediately. For one, I am not a senior, and therefore, I can't totally relate. I also happen to be happily satisfied with the relationship that I'm in, and it's hard for me to imagine single life right now. "I'll get back to you," I told her, rather hesitantly. Since then, I've given this "dry spell" some serious thought, and here's what I've come up with.

In light of being in college, a time in our lives during which we should all feel liberated to explore our identities and sexualities, I think it's only appropriate to discuss something that, in my opinion, is often terribly misinterpreted: bisexuality. According to Anatasia Toufexis's article in Time Magazine "Bisexuality What Is It?", many people have the common perception that bisexuals are basically "just straights with a taste of exotic adventure or essentially gays who are unable or unwilling to acknowledge their true orientation" (Toufexis).

I'm going to start off this piece the same way that the funny old lady who played with dildos did on her famous late night sex show: Let's talk sex. (For those of you who don't know who I'm referring to, it's Sue Johanson, host of the late night sitcom on the Oxygen Channel known as Talk Sex). At college, "talking sex" with people often stimulates a wide range of discussion, especially since we are all not always on the same page in terms of our sexual experiences and desires. In other words, you have people who've had sex, have sex all the time, and haven't had sex at all. And in between are all the people who do have sex, even regularly, but all for slightly different reasons.

During Winter Break, I spent a significant amount of time traveling with one of my closest friends, who happens to be one of my go-to people for in-depth chats about relationships, hooking-up and of course, sex. That said, we started talking about the typical "hook-up" scene at college. You know, the whole "meet someone at a party, head back to bed, brunch the next day, and 'I'll see you around' type of thing." It was interesting to learn from my friend, who attends a large university in New York City, that a similar phenomenon also occurs frequently at large schools. We came to the conclusion that colleges naturally foster "casual hook-ups" that are not only easy to achieve, but also desirable, especially given how explorative they can be. Bowdoin students have been particularly critical of the all-too-common hook-ups, claiming that the College lacks a proper and wholesome dating scene. In short, it has been suggested that hooking up is evidence that students here are neither prepared nor mature enough to pursue more serious relationships.