The Bowdoin Orient

Life at Bowdoin College became much harder after I came out of the closet—and admitted that I was a conservative.

What was supposed to be an open-minded, tolerant community suddenly became an unfriendly crowd. I lost friends and gained enemies. Professors never treated me the same. Campus became a political battlefield.

My “coming out” moment occurred in the Orient. I wrote, “A society that places an ever increasing importance on tolerance and diversity is showing an astounding level of prejudice toward Republicans.” Shortly afterward I received an email from a coach at the school with the subject line, “Welcome to Bowdoin.”  

Choirs of birds once again roost among us and the air is filled with the earthen pulchor of mud-season. Oh, how the coming of spring does brighten the spirit! Still, what really puts a smile on my face and a jump in my step is the smell of liberal hypocrisy. The spectacle of Pecksniffian liberals skewered by their own petard is a sight sublime; the once glorious crusade for a man thought visionary, now tainted by unfulfilled promises; the cacophony of yes-we-can and fatal optimism, now replaced by tongue-tied silence, hand-wringing and bitter apathy. Alas, the banquet has been prepared, let us begrudge it a feast.

So long as freedom of assembly remains, people will be free to secure for themselves the benefits of association. The organized labor of yore fought for safety in factories and coal mines; they put a stop to abusive child labor and helped bring humanity to industry, but the same unions also brought endemic corruption and needless waste.

In the beginning, God gave mankind dominion over the beasts of earth (Genesis 1:26), and for millennia, the flesh of things that creep has enriched the lives and diets of all humans. The joy of juicy spare ribs, the delight of fried chicken and the ecstasy of freshly seared steak—these are the unparalleled pleasures of life. However awesome the carnivorous lifestyle may be, it is, nonetheless, under attack.

For some strange reason, fellow Bowdoiners always seem to know that I grew up in Maine. How they learn of my heritage remains a mystery to me, but once they do, I encounter a blizzard of questions: Is there electricity where you live? Do you ever take your boots off? How come fishhooks and shotgun shells keep falling out of your pockets? Is that a hoof sticking out of your trunk? Sometimes the question is earnest, simple and answered easily. Sometimes the question is stupid and demands a stupid answer; I zealously oblige. But there is one question that requires a sincere and thorough response. Inquiring minds most frequently request the secret to surviving Maine winters.

Congressional Republicans and the White House, both eager to enact tax reform before the end of the current legislative session, struck a deal on Monday. The legislation would prevent the Bush tax cuts from expiring at the end of the year, and provide stability to a struggling economy as the holiday season nears. The proposal is a good one, but whether or not the Senate will support it remains to be seen. One must wonder why our progressive president has proposed a policy that earned Rush Limbaugh's seal of approval.

In 2008, Democrats were swept into control of the national government and all at once became responsible for dealing with the nation's economic and political crises. Paul LePage and the Maine GOP now find themselves in similar circumstances.

In a recent public letter, the President of the Bowdoin College Democrats criticized the Republican candidate for governor, Paul LePage. The letter cited a 2005 student newspaper article where LePage argued that college students from out of state should not be eligible to vote in Maine elections unless they pay taxes and register their cars in Maine. The president's letter noted, most humorously, that LePage would not be able to vote under his own restrictions, as he drives a company car and has allegedly dodged some taxes in Maine. This little bit of muckraking is not likely to hurt LePage, but it has provoked a serious question: Should college students from other states be allowed to vote in state and local Maine elections?

The leadership of the College has decided to prohibit the possession or consumption of hard alcohol. They believe in doing so they are removing the key element of unsafe drinking, thus promoting a healthier campus environment. An honorable goal, but given the latest incidences of hard alcohol related misdeeds, the question must be asked: is the policy working? First we must understand the nature of the problem. Although it has been branded by most as a "drinking problem," dangerous drinking is merely a symptom of what is actually a social problem.

The wall between church and state, once a peaceful and tolerant place, has become a battle zone. On one side the proponents of secular government fight for a secular public sphere. On the other side religious conservatives struggle to preserve remnants of this nation's undeniable Christian history. When Thomas Jefferson first described the wall between church and state it was in the context of a very Christian, very masculine nation.

American conservatism is dedicated to the proposition, etched in eternity by Thomas Jefferson, that all men are created equal and endowed by a Benevolent Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these rights are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; that to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers for the consent of the governed.

It's no secret that I am a Mainer. I love Maine and truly believe it to be the greatest state in the Union, infinitely better than Massachusetts. Okay, so I might be a little biased. But even the most metropolitan of "flat landahs" can revel in the political delights of the Pine Tree State. I could provide a litany of examples that would display the inimitable qualities of this humble land, but I shall spare you the history lesson; not because I do not think history lessons are awesome (they are), but because in the coming week the results of the referendum election will provide all the compelling evidence I need to convince you that Maine is the best state in the Union. With seven separate issues up for voter approval, this election will appeal to more than political junkies.

Any candid observation of the current health care debate reveals two facts. First, in terms of quantity, quality and access, medical care in the United States is far above average. Second, reform is necessary, but many options under consideration are truly worse than the problem. This is an important time for America not because we desperately need health care, but because this is where we, as a country, decide the role government will play in the lives of Americans until Jesus comes back, or at least until the Chinese take over.

Maine is a special state, my home state, and the greatest state in the Union. Some may detest the slow-paced life style and the folksy feel, but all can admire the independence of Mainers. For outsiders, Maine's independence is made evident by the two lovely ladies representing the state in the United States Senate. Although Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe hold traditionaly conservative views towards such issues as national defense, taxes and gun rights, they have also voted consistently in support of abortion and gay rights. While many people would see this deviation from mainstream Republican positions as a sign of Maine's progressivism, it is actually a reflection of libertarian thinking.

Summer of 2009 was a political battlefield. Most certainly, the theatre that is American politics tossed up some delightful amusements to rouse your sleeping intellectual and political passions. Here's the scoop any informed college student should have.

The history of United States is a story of various struggles and the struggle against racism is, perhaps, most prominent in the minds of students at liberal arts colleges. In America, racism is largely characterized as a white behavior and rightly so. It was the whites who propagated slavery. It was the whites who instituted the Jim Crowe laws. It was the whites who passed the Chinese Exclusion act and it was the whites who forced over one-hundred thousand Japanese Americans into internment camps during WWII.

From the commitment displayed on the walls of Thorne Dining Hall, to the myriad of environmentally friendly changes in our lifestyles, Bowdoin College has caught green fever. Although this new lifestyle may seem hip, it is actually very old-school. In the olden days Americans weren't coerced or instructed to live green. For them it was common sense. They called it thrift. This new concern with our impact on the environment is most certainly not that new at all. Why, the first Earth Day was held back in 1970. Except, back then, they were worried about global cooling. Yeah...global cooling.

After two long weeks of Spring Break, the students of Bowdoin College have finally returned in search of educational excellence. While many students spent those two weeks skiing in the Rocky Mountains or sipping Coronas on some tropical beach, I was busy stockpiling ammunition and firearms.

Last week an op-ed published in this very newspaper officially declared that the single function of government is to "promote the common good." When I read this I actually winced with pain. How could it be that anyone would assume the only purpose of our government is to look out for some vague ideal like "the common good?"

Recently, top Democrats have publicly declared an end to partisanship and the beginning of a post-partisan era; however, their recent actions are telling a very, very different story. Last week the house approved the 647-page "stimulus" package, by a vote of 244-188. Not a single Republican voted in favor of the new spending bill and 11 Democrats joined the GOP's attempt to stop this titanic bill from ever becoming law.

As you may well know I spent last semester attempting to provide entertaining and objective political analysis to the students of Bowdoin College and it is my pleasure to inform you that I will continue my work as a columnist for the Orient. You can consider me the Fox News of Bowdoin.

This just in: We are in a recession. Shocking, I know, but the government says it is official now and this announcement has coincided with the equally startling revelation that Obama is a closet conservative. By concealing his true political orientation Obama was able to infiltrate the Democratic Party and earn the support of powerful leftists.

On election night, I walked somberly through the Quad coming to terms with the results when I happened upon a mob of Obama supporters shouting and parading through campus. I appreciate the excitement; however, these energies must be directed not in a quasi-religious fervor but toward a better understanding of American government.

So last Friday I went to see Tom Allen in Smith Union. Afterwards I waited in line to shake his hand and meet him. Just as I began to speak to him, a woman shouted to Mr. Allen, "No, don't talk to him. He is a Republican!" Then Tom walked off without a word to me. Now I don't know whether she was an employee of the college, a Campaign staffer or merely a deluded transient woman, but I was shocked by her display of partisanship.

In this crucial election year, the presidential race has, more or less, become a ballot issue. The decision is simple: Obama?yes or no? With Obama comes a tax plan that will lower taxes for all individuals making less than $250,000 while placing a substantial tax increase on richer individuals. The alternative is McCain's plan, which cuts taxes for all Americans but more so for wealthier ones.

As I am sure you are aware of, this is an election year. Politicians' signs adorn every yard and television without political advertisement is a rarity. Among the elections facing Bowdoin students is the Senate race between incumbent Senator Susan Collins and Representative Tom Allen. Although all polls to date show Collins as the favorite by a large margin, this election has drawn national attention. Many believe that should Barack Obama be elected, a senate majority will be essential to achieving "real change". As a native Mainer and a Bowdoin student I feel I can express a unique perspective on this issue.

All over the country there are people who believe in conservatism. These people may be registered republicans, independents, or even blue dog democrats. They come from all walks of life, but whatever their color or creed, they see value in conservative ideals. It is important to realize that the Republican Party is not homogenous. Instead, it is a coalition of many groups whose ideas of conservatism differ, but share a central theme.