After two long weeks of Spring Break, the students of Bowdoin College have finally returned in search of educational excellence. While many students spent those two weeks skiing in the Rocky Mountains or sipping Coronas on some tropical beach, I was busy stockpiling ammunition and firearms.
All across the country, gun dealers are reporting tripled and even quadrupled sales since Obama's election. Perhaps sales have increased because our current political regime has eyed the second amendment with contempt for years or perhaps there is an increasing sentiment that our leaders are returning to a pre-9/11 attitude.
Over the last eight years, big government Republicans have spent us into a hole, but at least they improved homeland security and made this nation a safer place. Although the new administration seems keen on continuing the enlargement of government, they are remarkably naive about the dangers facing America.
Many Democrats believed Obama would bring a refreshing new face to American foreign policy; however, his most recent attempts at "smart" foreign policy have been anything but. Although the American public may not read or understand the laws made by Congress, the international community certainly does. Only after the European countries threatened a trade war was proposed protectionist language removed from Congress' stimulus package.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's first attempts at foreign policy have proven to be turbulent compared to the hopey-changey rhetoric of Obama's campaign. While visiting the E.U., Clinton had a tough time pronouncing the names of foreign dignitaries and even referred to her own counterpart in the E.U. as "high representative."
Clinton's sagacious foreign policy served America just as well when she was meeting with an ambassador from Russia. In an act of pure brilliance, Clinton solved all of the problems between Russia and the U.S. by presenting the Russian diplomat with a reset button. What? Does that sound silly? Well unfortunately it is true.
In front of the international press Clinton unveiled a yellow box with a red button. On the box were two labels, one read Reset and the other was the Russian equivalent...or so she thought. One of Clinton's aides had committed a foul translation blunder because the Russian label actually read Overcharge. It's not Clinton's fault though: the good translators were probably fired for being gay.
Not only has the new administration made childish attempts to mend fences, they seem unwilling to maintain relationships with America's most loyal allies. It is custom for foreign leaders to exchange gifts and on his first visit with Obama, Gordon Brown was out to impress. He brought a pen holder carved from the wood of Victorian anti-slave ship the U.S.S. Gannet. The U.S.S. Gannet was the sister ship to the vessel that provided timber for the Resolute Desk, which has called the oval office home since 1880. Brown also handed over a framed commission for H.M.S. Resolute and a first-edition biography of Winston Churchill. In addition, the prime minister provided Obama's children with outfits from Topshop and six children's books which have yet to be published in America.
Now you would think that a man who ran on "intelligent policy" would be prepared to reciprocate, however; in return for these thoughtful gifts Obama gave the Brown family a box set of 25 American classics on DVD and a couple of model helicopters. However, when Brown tried to watch one of his new movies he discovered that the technologically ignorant gift-givers had supplied him with DVDs that were incompatible with European systems.
Now that, Mr. President, is classy.
But we haven't even got into the real meat of America's new foreign policy. Just as Obama supporters had hoped, the war in Iraq is over, all of our troops are home, and Islamo-fascist terrorists no longer want us dead. Wait...hold on...I'm being told that's not true.
What is true is that, since elected, Obama has escalated a war in Afghanistan, prolonged a war in Iraq, and initiated a covert war in Pakistan. It may be surprising to learn that, in terms of Middle East policy, Obama has out-Bushed Bush. But, then again, it's not a surprise for those of us who were paying attention.
If all these recent events were part of Obama's magnificent plan to feign international weakness, then congratulations...it worked. Iran has recently declared itself to be a space and nuclear power, North Korea is testing its ballistic missiles, and Russia is now using bases in Cuba as well as Venezuela. All these events point to one single fact; the cold war never ended, the strategy just changed.
However, in these dangerous times the American people may rest assured knowing that our current administration will do everything in its power to keep us safe...right? Well, I'm not holding my breath. Like many Americans, I am following a two-part plan to ensure my own safety. Step one: buy guns. Step two: take government away from the Democrats.