Tick tock. Time is running out for graduating seniors and we're all thinking (consciously or not) about the same thing: What's going to happen to our relationships, or lack thereof, in these last few months of college? Senior spring can be exhilarating or it can be just the opposite?sort of like sex. Graduating seniors are looking for their first jobs and ways out of their parents' houses, while at the same time facing up to the inescapable romantic deadline that graduation will bring. Underclassmen, read on: You'll be in our shoes before you know it.
You've got to ask yourself this: Is it time to cut and run, or should you double down? If you are in a serious, long-term relationship, you're faced with the decision of whether or not to stay together for the final semester and plan for the future... together. I don't know about you, but for me, trailing after your boyfriend or girlfriend after college qualifies as a HUGE commitment. Just what are you giving up to be with this person? What about what you want? Some of you will decide to end things now and spend the semester with your friends, making your decisions about what to do and where to live solely on what you want.
Graduating seniors dating an underclassman, also known as the May/December scenario, face the same issue. Picture this: Next year, your knight-in-shining-armor boyfriend is off working in some glamorous city 500 miles away surrounded by smart, talented, good looking people... just like you. You're in a relationship with someone who is living in a totally different place, completely out of your reach. Who knows what they're doing? One of you is trying to start a new life and immerse yourself in a new city with new friends, while the other is still living on campus eating dinning hall food. The chances of keeping this one together? Slim.
Then there's the last-minute shopping scenario. That is, using these last few months to land someone so that you've got something when you graduate. There are plenty of us who somehow feel pressured to meet someone worthwhile in this last semester at college. Although convenient, dating someone at Bowdoin solely so you can graduate college with a significant other in your back pocket seems coldly calculating. Lots of us entered college with the high hope that we would meet the love of our lives, but you'll be a lot happier to graduate single than with a girlfriend or boyfriend you're "just not that into." My advice: Don't play it safe. Stop planning. Rely on the sparks, not the equation.
And then there's the desperation situation. Underclassmen are anxious to finally connect with their senior crush before they leave, while old flames are wondering if rekindling their relationship before graduation is worth it. One friend who's graduating this spring has mixed feelings about being broken up with his long-time Bowdoin girlfriend. He knows it's best to stay apart, but can't help but wonder if this is the last chance they will have to be together. From my own experience, though, it seems like if you've dated someone who you really care about, you will most likely keep in contact after you graduate.
On the other hand, a large portion of my friends say they want to resist getting into a serious relationship in their last semester. Some feel like they've drained all possible Bowdoin resources, while others don't want to have to worry about the implications of what a relationship might mean for next year. Personally, I think if you meet someone you think is worthwhile, you should go for it.
Not surprisingly, seniors tend to get a little more ballsy when it comes to asking out that person they've had their eye on since freshman year. The embarrassment factor is much lower when you know you may never see the person again.
So, if you miss the deadline and your pocket is empty, no big deal. In fact, it could be good. It's hard to dispel advice on how we seniors should approach our love lives in the next few months. Each situation is different. But if there is one thing I think we should all remember, it's this: No matter what happens this semester, whether we leave Bowdoin with a long term relationship still intact or with a few more notches on our belt (but with nothing substantial to show for it), we'll all always have Bowdoin in common. Whether you leave Bowdoin in a relationship or single, graduating isn't the end. It's just the beginning.