It is upon us. You know what I'm talking about. And now, more than ever, some of you are in need of my help.
As of this article's publication, you have approximately twenty four hours until the Great Whittier Field Experiment. I just hope this message reaches enough of you before the drinking begins and trips to Bootleggers become impossible.
I'm going to get right to the point: basically, while you're out in the trenches, it doesn't make sense to have to continuously return to dorm rooms and apartments to refill the Brunswick Police Department-thwarting containers we're all going to be carrying around.
Instead, I'd like to recommend drinking beers with a higher-than-normal alcohol content (and drinking them SLOWLY, or this whole model falls apart and I get sued when people are hospitalized) in order to maximize enjoyment of the lovely, lovely music by eliminating the need for multiple trips in and out of Whittier.
For all the lightweights out there, say no to Parkview and stick to something that's only a tad more alcoholic than your average brew; I am, of course, talking about ice beer.
Most popular brands (Bud, Natty, Molson, etc.) make an ice beer, which is essentially just a lager with an alcohol content of 5.5 percent, a percentage point or two above what one normally finds in a mainstream beer.
Personally, however, I don't bother with any of this ice beer nonsense as none of them taste very good.
If you're a fan of the lager taste go for some Carlsberg Elephant. This Danish import clocks in at 7.2 percent and is a lot lighter than the other high-alcohol beers I'm going to recommend.
Elephant is a lot more drinkable than some of the other "imperial" lagers out there boasting a similarly high alcohol content (and, in the case of Sri Lanka's Lion, an animal mascot as well); it is sweeter than most lagers but is not accompanied by some of its competitors' sour aftertaste.
Next up: Long Trail's Double Bag. Another 7.2 percent-er, this well-balanced ale does a good job of masking its higher-than-normal alcohol content. Unlike Long Trail's standard Ale, the Double Bag is almost completely devoid of any hoppy flavor. Of all my recommendations, I almost have the most faith in this one. It's not too heavy, and if you have any experience with ales, you'll definitely enjoy it. Unless you are super adventurous (see below), stick with Double Bag this weekend.
These final two beers are fairly expensive, but definitely worth the eight dollars for the 750ml of pure drinking joy they provide. They also boast some really aesthetically pleasing bottles, at least according to what I consider to be aesthetically pleasing. Not like you care.
California's Eel River brewery makes an "old ale" called Triple Exulation. At 9.7 percent, this ale is for serious, experienced drinkers only (or for drinkers who are really good at drinking slowly). The Triple Exulation is a lot heavier than anything I've talked about thus far, but the upped alcohol content won't leave you with a full stomach too early during your drinking adventures. Old ale implies an ale brewed in the old English style, which results in rich, sweet, dark ales. Ell River's creation is unique because in addition to all of those characteristics, it contains an unusual hop level. This results in a complex, exciting flavor that fans of dark ales and IPAs alike will revel in its glory.
Finally, I'd like to revisit the Unibroue brewery, which some of you may remember from my second column on Canadian beers. One Unibroue offering not mentioned then that I am going to highly recommend for this particular drinking scenario is an offering called Terrible. Contrary to its name, Terrible is simply amazing. It wins the alcohol content contest, with a rating of 10.5 percent.
The wonder of Terrible is that it is extremely dark yet extremely fruity, something not seen in many beers outside of the Unibroue world. Unibroue's Trois Pistoles comes to mind here as a comparison, but while that ale's fruit flavor comes from a grape-like port taste, Terrible tastes more like nectar. And yet, it isn't overpoweringly sweet! Unibroue must be using dark magic, or something, to create something so fruity that isn't incredibly sweet as well. It does not make sense. And yet it is.
Go forth, drink, and be merry. Also be safe. Happy Ivies.
Editors note: The College has asked students not to bring glass bottles onto Whittier Field, but to use cups instead.
The Bowdoin Orient has a promotion in partnership with Bootleggers Beverage Warehouse in Topsham, Maine. This week only, Bowdoin students can receive 10 percent off sixteen-ounce six packs of Eel River Triple Exultation, Unibroue's Terrible, Carlsberg's Elephant, and Long Trail's Double Bag upon presentation of a Bowdoin ID.