Power in the prostate: Exploring the atypical possibilities for male pleasure

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Sex Matters

Power in the prostate: Exploring the atypical possibilities for male pleasure

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

April 24, 2009

Sexual pleasure for men is considered to be less of a mystery than pleasure for women. Part of this might be because the part of male anatomy considered to be "most central" to sex, the penis, is pretty obvious. It might also be because men are assumed to start masturbating at a young age and are therefore considered orgasm experts by the time they might want to start teaching other people how they work. In reality, however, there is more to male sexual pleasure than the penis. Putting aside fantasies, preferences and emotions and focusing solely on anatomy, there are men who experience pleasure in their ears, nipples, fingers, inner thighs, balls and anus, to name a few locales. This doesn't mean that the penis isn't important, because it often is, but it does mean that the concept of foreplay can be just as enjoyable and important for him as it is considered to be for your average woman.

In the name of expanding the understanding of male sexual pleasure, I would like to focus on a part of male anatomy that is shrouded in stigma: the prostate. The prostate gets a bad rap for a variety of reasons. For one thing, many men don't think about their prostate until they're about to undergo an examination by a medical professional, a process which probably couldn't be less erotic and brings to mind scary words like inflammation, disease or cancer. For another, the best way to access the prostate is through a man's anus. Unfortunately, our culture attaches a stigma of non-masculinity with the anus and men being penetrated instead of doing the penetrating. These connotations are sometimes enough to completely turn a guy off from viewing his butt as anything other than the subject of hilariously immature bathroom humor.

Putting aside these cultural attitudes and exploring the pleasure potentials of the prostate can be a very rewarding experience for a man, both alone or with a partner. The prostate is a collection of muscle fibers, connective tissue and glands that encircles the urethra under the bladder and is responsible for contributing about 40 percent of male ejaculate. It is possible to access the prostate both externally and internally.

The prostate can be stimulated through pressure on the perineum, which is the strip of skin between the back of the scrotum and the anus. Because there are muscles separating the prostate from the skin of the perineum, it might take a fair amount of pressure to elicit sensations. Figuring out what works for an individual will require experimentation with varying degrees of pressure at different points along the perineum.

The easier way to explore the prostate is internal stimulation through the anus. Though there are many sex toys designed to stimulate the prostate, it can be easier and less intimidating to start with a finger if you have a partner who is willing to try it. The prostate is located about an inch or two in on the front side of the butt, so it can be helpful for a man to lie on his back and a partner to use a "come hither" motion for stimulation. Use lots of water-based lube and take your time when inserting anything into the anus. Use a condom or a non-powdered glove to cover the finger if you want, and make sure that your nails are clipped and clean.

Prostate stimulation can be a very erotic experience for both the giver and receiver, and it can easily be combined with stimulation of other erogenous zones, including the penis, to explore a variety of new sexual sensations. For some men, having the prostate stimulated at the same time as the penis can result in a completely different kind of sensation and orgasm than stimulation of the penis alone.

We get a lot of information from popular culture about what appropriate eroticism is, and anything that falls outside of that narrow scope is considered deviant or kinky. In reality, many men of all sexual orientations enjoy anal play in a variety of ways. And even though they don't have prostate glands, many women enjoy having their butts touched, licked or penetrated. Despite the stigma that comes from our culture branding the butt as "taboo," exploring the erogenous possibilities of your back door can be a great way to expand the horizons of your own sexual pleasure as well as add some new and exciting aspects to your relationship. Anal play is certainly not for everyone, but don't let anyone else make that decision for you.

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