'Singles Awareness Day': A safe time to stare someone down

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Sex Matters

'Singles Awareness Day': A safe time to stare someone down

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

February 6, 2009

This time of year, we should all be aware of SAD. I am not only referring to seasonal affective disorder, but also to the rapidly approaching Singles Awareness Day, which "coincidentally" falls on February 14. We are now a week into February, the month when single people become acutely aware, and in some cases defensive, of the fact that we've been cuddling up to our body pillows for the past couple of days, weeks, months, or years. Usually we love our body pillows, but sending your body pillow chocolate for Valentine's Day is generally counterproductive because you wind up eating them all yourself and then feeling lonely and sick.

I've always had a problem with Valentine's Day. For me, it's always seemed like a big pink Post-it note on every relationship that says, "Hey! Don't forget to care about this person!" Valentine's Day is fraught with stress about which of the clichéd Valentine's gifts you should get your significant other. Should you hand-make a card? Or can you buy one of the witty ones at Rite Aid? (I once received a Valentine's Day card that read, "What's the most important thing to consider for Valentine's Day?" Inside, it said, "Location Location Location," and had a picture of a bed. Maybe that's why I hate Valentine's Day.)

Valentine's Day is stressful for both singles and couples. The rhetoric of Valentine's Day promotes the Hollywood image that love unfolds in a comedic yet perfect way, where at first people are befuddled and confused, but then they fall into a perfect relationship where things are easy, and love and lust never fade or change. There's also a two-week black hole surrounding Valentine's Day during which you're not allowed to talk about any problems, get into any fights and certainly never break up with someone. Because it's "almost Valentine's Day," and how can you bring up something that's bothering you on this, the day where you're supposed to be perfect for one another?

Valentine's Day can be tough all around, but, as I am single, I feel I am really only in a position to offer advice to those who, like me, will spend this Singles Awareness Day trying to find something to do that doesn't involve candy hearts, pink things or creepily realistic pictures of Cupids. Never fear, fellow singles! There is plenty of stuff do to this SAD that can make it seem more like Singles Appreciation Day than Singles Awareness Day. Here is but a small selection of those activities I do to make February 14 an exciting day:

First, stare at people. You can get away with this when you're single in a way that you can't when you're taken. Think someone's attractive? Just stare at them until they notice, and even then, don't necessarily stop. When you're with someone, staring is a threat. Someone who cares about you will always want to know what you're looking at, whether it's because they want to share in all of the mundane aspects of your life or because they're afraid it's someone more attractive than they are. When you're single, stare away! Even if you're just staring at a wall, you can do so uninterrupted. Hopefully someone attractive will wander in front of your gaze.

Second, take advantage of all the candy that people put out in honor of Valentine's Day. If no one's really keeping tabs on you on Valentine's Day, who's going to know that you're being a pig? So what if you eat so much chocolate that you have to spend the bulk of the night (pun intended) on a couch? You're enjoying yourself! You're not accountable to anyone, so enjoy all that free candy.

Finally, although this may be going against the cynicism of my earlier points, think of Valentine's Day as an opportunity. I've already made my argument in favor of asking people out on dates, so I won't repeat it, but Valentine's Day is a great excuse to put yourself out there. People sometimes need a reason to take a risk, and Valentine's Day is a great one: suffocating in love paraphernalia and being on the mother of all sugar highs. Perhaps Singles Awareness Day comes around for a reason other than to torment us; perhaps it is supposed to remind us that if we're not loving being single despite all of the aforementioned perks, there are things we can try to do about it. And, if those things don't pan out the way you want them to, you can always fall back on the day-after-Valentine's Day candy sales. If you get shot down putting yourself out there, there's no better landing than in a mountain of cheap chocolate.

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