When you fork over those extra few bucks to buy some premium beers, you believe the additional expense is worth it. Sure, you pay a premium for it, but you justify the investment by convincing yourself that the premium beer is better than its cheaper alternative.
Until relatively recently in my beer-drinking history, I was on a similar page. In the cases where I acted on my impulse to splurge, to really go big and treat myself to something better than my usual Pabst Blue Ribbon, the beer I happened to choose would take on a sacred quality. My practice was to taste slowly and methodically, savoring every last drop; I would kneel in humility and reverence at the foot of the beer's altar, as a serf would at the feet of his king. However, with all of the thinking I've done about beer as of late, I've begun to feel this faith dissipating.
Usually, I prefer more expensive beer to less expensive beer. When I contemplate whether to pay those extra dollars to get a premium beer, I carefully weigh the pros and cons, as any rational consumer would. Will the extra satisfaction I'll derive from the higher-quality brew match or outweigh its additional cost? When I upgrade to a "premo," I often end up enjoying it more than a Beast Light. But why exactly do I enjoy it more? Is it objectively better? Or is it simply a case of self-fulfilling prophecy, whereby I convince myself that I will enjoy it more and then proceed to do so, regardless of other factors? Indeed, I have learned that it is sometimes almost impossible to distinguish a premium beer from a similar, yet cheaper alternative.
If I haven't made it clear already, I've found these questions to be deeply unsettling. What they amount to is this: If I couldn't tell the difference between, say, a Stella Artois and a Pabst Blue Ribbon, then I would have absolutely no justification for paying more than twice as much for the Stella.
A rigorous, scientific experiment was the only legitimate way to solve the matter. I invited those of my friends who are of legal age to take part in a survey. My task was simple enough: Given two beers in a blind taste test, could they identify which is PBR and which is Stella? Though I invited many, I scheduled the event for a Tuesday night to ensure that only the most accomplished beer connoisseurs would attend. There were 10 tasters in all.
Stella Artois is a traditional pale lager. Produced in Belgium, it is marketed as a "premium lager." ($10.69 for an 18-pack of cans at Hannaford.)
PBR is also a pale lager ($8.99 for an 18-pack of cans at Hannaford). It has won numerous "Best American-style Lager" titles in the World Beer Cup. The Pabst Brewing Company offers a straight-forward, reliable product in PBR. Its price is often its most appealing asset. Love it or hate it?but you gotta respect it.
My first taster thought the survey was a joke.
"Of course I can tell a Stella from a PBR. Stella's a great beer, and PBR is gross!"
I poured a few ounces of each beer into separate glasses and gave him the glass with Stella. I quote him verbatim: "Ohhhhhh, yeah, dude?ahh?definitely?oh-oh-oh-yeah...this is PBR."
He then tried the PBR: "Mmmmmmmm." His response let me know there was no doubt in his mind this was Stella. Slowly letting his eyelids drop, he resembled a house-cat relaxing after his nightly bowl of warm milk.
I relished at the thought of shattering his entire world view. I grinned and shook my head, "You're wrong."
He was incredulous: "No way, dude!" Pointing toward the Stella, "This just smells like cheap beer."
Eyes opened wide and focused on nothing in particular, he mechanically shook his head in utter shock and disappointment. "That's funny, because PBR is like the one cheap beer I don't like."
I had no problem distinguishing the beers. But I don't attribute this to any extraordinary tasting ability; I'm just uber-familiar with the taste of PBR. It has a distinctly acidic smell, and its body might be described as bread-like (If you've had PBR, you know exactly what this means). For me the Stella was significantly smoother, less sharp on the palate, and ended with a more aromatic aftertaste.
Another taster's confidence had a more rational basis.
"PBR is like mother's milk to me," he said confidently.
Like me, this taster had little trouble identifying PBR. However, he did admit, "I'm slightly biased because I've drunk about a thousand of these."
The most confident taster took one sip of the PBR and said, "This tastes like J-orts," (a possible reference to his recent Jean-shorts themed party). "It tastes more like piss than Stella does."
Oddly, for better or for worse, the taste of PBR reminded us all of the sticky, beer-covered basements of our favorite college houses.
Other tasters lacking such intimacy with PBR had significant trouble identifying the beers.
One was thrown off at the outset, "I usually tell the difference between these because one comes in a can and one comes in a bottle," but managed to identify correctly after some deliberation.
Meanwhile, the few who were most familiar with Stella correctly identified this beer first.
One taster was so embarrassed by his false identification that he claimed I somehow botched the test. I have to admit he made a decent case for himself. I could not remember whether I'd kept track of which beer was which before shuffling the two behind my back. A panel of successful tasters then identified the beers unanimously, forcing the taster to admit once and for all that he was wrong. I suspect that he just didn't want to admit he was wrong. How outrageous!
Though seven of us correctly identified the beers, the other three failed miserably. In addition, the majority of those who identified correctly did not do so without a lot of hard thinking. (My statisticians are currently running the figures through a series of exceptionally complicated T-tests in the search for a statistically significant correlation.) My findings show that Stella Artois and PBR?two beers that seem incomparable by virtue of their prices?are in reality very similar.
While Stella's slogan is "Reassuringly Expensive," the results of my survey were not that reassuring. Though Stella is a quality brew, we should ask ourselves whether paying more is really worth it. If you are of legal drinking age, I ask you to consider trying this blind taste-test, and I welcome your feedback!