Red wine and Pepsi make a killer couple

Bottom of the Barrel: Sweet dreams not made of this: Insomnia Pinot Grigio

Did you miss us? We certainly missed you. Or at least we missed the wine. Because that’s what it is really all about, isn’t it?
As we write this, we are holed up in our Coles Tower room sheltering ourselves from Snowpocalypse Juno, which is currently raging just outside our window. On a night like tonight, there is no greater joy than to uncork a bottle of wine, put on a good rom-com, and spend time with those who mean most to you. After all, with weather like this, they’ll probably soon be buried under a mountain of snow.
We decided on “It’s Complicated” for the movie (can’t go wrong with Meryl) and we honestly can’t imagine anyone better than ourselves to spend time with. That only leaves us with the wine. This week we went with a California Pinot Grigio, this time under the Insomnia brand. Fitting, given the long hours we have both been keeping due to our level of schoolwork. So much for an easy senior spring.
Normally we supply an entertaining backstory regarding how we carefully compared and selected our wine. This time, however, our wine choice was gifted to us by Brandon’s grandmother as her highest sub-$10 recommendation. We shall see if it lives up to its lofty expectations.
So without further ado, the cork was popped and the wine was glugging into our glasses. Let the early week drinking commence once again. Our initial impression was that the wine certainly looked like pinot grigio, and carried a pleasantly light nose. Although to be fair, Bryce and I have been sick the past few days, so that may be a product of congestion more than anything else.
At first sip, we were initially struck by the dryness of the wine. It was certainly drier than our last pinot, although when you are drawing comparisons with FlipFlop you never really know what to expect. Bryce did not find the dryness to be totally off-putting. Brandon, however, felt that this wine tasted like you could strip paint with it.
In terms of mouthfeel, Brandon found it to be quite nice, however Bryce was not as approving. He felt that the mouthfeel was unimpressive and liquidy, seeming to forget that when one is drinking wine, liquidity is presumably to be expected. The body leaves something to be desired. And here we were in rare complete agreement, finding the body to be thin and rather watery.
Despite our ambivalence towards this wine, we still decided to drain the entire bottle. We felt it would disappoint you, our loyal readers, if we didn’t. If nothing else, despite the wine’s misleading name, it help put us to sleep. To be honest, most of the wines we review for this column have been used as a general sleep aid. And no, in case you are wondering, we are not alcoholics! Don’t judge us!
Additional Notes: Brandon: They must call this Insomnia because the taste of this wine will haunt my dreams for years to come. Bryce: The more I drink, the less happy I am. That should never be the case.
Nose: 2.5Mouthfeel: 2.5Body: 3.5Taste: 3.5
Make a 3 am run to get some Insomnia, Hannaford, $8.99.

Bottom of the Barrel: Pinot Evil offers pairing, mulling potential

So here we sit. Another Tuesday, another bottle of wine, another bag of Tostitos. What is new this time is the microwaveable queso tray we bought. Nothing says “class” like wine and cheese, and nothing says “klass” like wine and microwaveable cheese. It is at the point in the semester where people just don’t seem to care anymore. For us, that means sleeping more than any one person ever should, and more importantly, using a solo cup as the new wine review glass.
Our wine this week is a Pinot Noir from Chile. Assiduous readers may note that this is not our first Pinot Noir, but given the poor quality of our last we thought we should give the variety another chance.
The winemakers decided to disregard the French origins of this grape, naming their wine Pinot Evil, based on the Three Wise Monkeys Japanese proverb. Meant to reference the supposed “evilness” of the Pinot noir grape, Pinot Evil claims that Pinot Noir is a guilty pleasure. We couldn’t agree more.
Pinot Noir is one of our favorite varieties of red wine, so we were excited to break into this bottle. Important to note is that the label indicated the bottle is “imported” and emphasized the fact in fancy cursive lettering. Whether this is to impress any potential party guests or to dupe people into buying more of their wine, we cannot say.
We appreciated that the bottle has a screw top and as such, it would seem to indicate the latter is true.
The wine is a nice ruby red color and has a pleasing nose with hints of cherries and spice. Pinot Evil has a very smooth, silky mouthfeel and a moderate acidity that is well balanced with warm, spicy, fruit flavors—in short, it tastes Christmasy. This is easily a cheap wine someone’s parents could bring to a holiday party to get tipsy on. This affords it some flexibility and it could easily be made into mulled wine with a few added spices.
We firmly believe that while the holiday season is well behind us, the winter seems to have no end and that a hot wine is still quite appropriate in our frozen circumstances.
Overall, this wine is very drinkable and we blew through the bottle in about twenty minutes. We should note that is not to say that this wine is one of the better ones we have reviewed. The stress this time of year brings has pushed us to be happy with anything you could serve us. Case in point, as soon as the Pinot Evil was empty, we found some leftover Franzia from the weekend and that hit the spot too. Pinot Evil has so inoffensive a flavor that it can be paired with practically anything you would want to eat. The label suggests roasted duck, but our microwave tray of Tostito’s queso worked quite well, and we imagine anything else you typically snack on would be great too.
Additional Notes: Brandon: “I can envision myself getting very drunk off this wine at my next family gathering.”
Bryce: “‘Surprising’ is the first word that comes to mind. Three bottles of this to myself could make a good night.” Nose: 3.5Mouthfeel: 4Body: 3Taste: 3
Get some Pinot Evil while it is still on sale! Shaw’s: $7.99.

Bottom of the Barrel

Red wine and Pepsi make a killer couple

This piece represents the opinion of the authors:

February 13, 2015

We are sad to report that we were the victims of a hostile takeover. No, not by our local wine connoisseur, but by the men’s ice hockey team. Upon our return home after a long two hours of grueling work at the library’s circulation desk, we found two-time NESCAC champions and zero-time NCAA champions, Bowdoin seniors Connor Quinn, Mike Schlagel and John McGinnis lurking in our apartment playing our Wii and hanging out with our roommates. They had apparently decided that they needed to make an appearance in our wine column. Luckily, they brought with them a sumptuous feast of leftover buffet food, chips and shrimp.

And they brought wine, so all was good.

Each brought their own wine, so we had three bottles to sample. Quinn brought a red blend from Dark Horse. We’d love nothing more than to tell you what was in this blend, however the makers decided that information like that just wasn’t important. McGinnis also brought us a red wine blend, this one a Sterling Vintner’s Collection. Finally, Schlagel brought us a Cabernet Sauvignon from Newman’s Own. When a company makes both wine and salad dressing, you know the wine’s gonna be good.

Our main intention that night was to drink the disturbing combination of red wine and Pepsi. Quinn had been begging us since September to feature this seemingly noxious combination in our column, and we decided it was time to humor him. Now before you decide to throw your paper down in disgust, keep in mind that this drink is actually the popular Spanish drink Kalimotxo. We assume it is all the rage for teenagers in Basque country. This 50-50 combination of cheap red wine and cola is a trip into new territory for Bottom of the Barrel.

You may be wondering why we chose Pepsi over Coke. This was purely on the recommendation of Quinn, who told us we had to use Pepsi. We were told later that Diet Rite from Wal-Mart was the normal mixer, but that that choice of Pepsi would be more befitting of our column’s classy reputation.

The Kalimotxo combo was surprisingly—some may say shockingly–drinkable. In fact, we all found it quite good. This may be due to the fact that the CO2 content in the wine makes the alcohol hit you harder, according to (somehow) chem and physics double major Schlagel. (Please don’t fact check us). The dominating note in both flavor and smell was sugar, unsurprisingly. The Pepsi overpowered whatever wine you poured it into.

In terms of the wine itself, none stood out as particularly good. The Dark Horse blend and Newman’s Own were both light in flavor. The Dark Horse was perhaps better tasting, while the Newman’s Own had the best nose of the three. The Sterling Vintner’s, however, stood out as particularly bad. While McGinnis hypothesized it may have something to do with the 5 percent Malbec ratio, we think it much more likely that the wine just sucks. Although to be fair when one is cleansing the palette with sharp cheddar cheese, accurate tasting may be impaired.

Overall we’d recommend the wines in the following order (Pepsi optional):

1. Dark Horse Big Red Blend, Hannaford’s, $7.99
2. Newman’s Own Cabernet Sauvignon, Hannaford’s, $10.99 (Side note: all Newman’s Own profits go to charity, so we felt that it was okay to go over our normal $10 limit.)
3. Sterling Vinter’s Collection, Hannaford’s, $8.99

So at the end of the day, none of these wines stood out as great. But that’s not really what matters. First, when you’re combining wine with Pepsi, quality really becomes a secondary concern. You could use literally any red and it would taste sugary and delicious. Second, it’s important to remember that wine drinking should never be done (purely) for the wine’s sake. This was the best tasting we’ve had thus far, but this column was the hardest to write because of all the good moments and funny comments we wanted to include but couldn’t for lack of space. So we’ll end by asking you to go out, grab some friends, buy some wine and Pepsi, maybe some plastic wine glasses (stems included, per recommendation from the hockey boys), and enjoy those that you’re with. That’s what drinking wine is all about.

Additional Notes:

Brandon: Perhaps the first time I’ve agreed with Connor Quinn about anything. What is happening to me?

Bryce: Regrettably drinkable, red wine and Pepsi is a good way to start a bad habit.

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