Sweet dreams not made of this: Insomnia Pinot Grigio

Bottom of the Barrel: Slip into the ambiance of this Cali Riesling

Going into the end of the semester is a trying ordeal for any stressed college student. We wholeheartedly endorse using wine as a medicinal coping mechanism for when you can no longer deal with reality. Brandon is a psych major, so you know our advice is legit.*
Deciding to kick the class up a notch this week, we chose Spotify’s “Coffee Table Jazz” to play as we expertly sampled our wine, a California Riesling appropriately labeled “Belle Ambiance.” Our spit cups nowhere to be found we decided to drink the whole bottle like we usually do. Keep the music classy, but true wine connoisseurs need to be able to taste the entire bottle.
As Brandon popped the cork we noticed that our “Belle Ambiance” Riesling fit the environment quite well. With a delightful glugging akin to a cherub’s laugh, the glasses were filled and the bottle was suddenly half empty.
A very light nose greeted us with floral notes, not very strong overall, but quite pleasing. Also, who really cares what it smells like as long as it tastes good, right? The color of the wine is a white gold, and the body is relatively light.
Rieslings are known to be quite sweet and low in alcohol content. This wine delivered on only one of those qualities.
Typically German, our California Reisling was sweet, but not cloying. With an American twist, however, our wine was at a comfortable 12 percent alcohol by volume, resting on the higher end of the scale for this type of wine. Have we found a wine that gives us the best of both worlds?
The wine is refreshingly sweet at first, yet finishes well with a light acidity. Easy enough to sip on its own, we didn’t feel the need to pair it with anything but more wine.
The aftertaste is lovely and lends itself to making this a casual sipping wine. It also makes you want to drink more. This wine is the ultimate stress reliever. We highly suggest pairing it with some smooth jazz, even if you aren’t a fan, and then just let yourself feel the stress melt away. If you wish to go into a happiness coma grab two bottles, turn on the music, and throw on the Parent Trap (Lohan version, obviously).
Remember: you’re going to be okay, if you let the Belle Ambiance take you away.
Additional Notes:
Brandon: I can imagine putting on a record, curling up in front of the fire with my (as of yet, nonexistent) significant other and escaping into the Belle Ambiance.
Bryce: I am actually at such a relaxed state right now that I could find Nicolas Cage repairing the Coles Tower elevator and I wouldn’t even be fazed. Nose: 3.5Mouthfeel: 4Body: 3.5 Taste: 4.5 As per the good doctor’s orders go grab your weekly bottle and de-stress. $9.99 at Target. *Disclaimer: Brandon is not an actual doctor of psychology.

Bottom of the Barrel: Red wine and Pepsi make a killer couple

We are sad to report that we were the victims of a hostile takeover. No, not by our local wine connoisseur, but by the men’s ice hockey team. Upon our return home after a long two hours of grueling work at the library’s circulation desk, we found two-time NESCAC champions and zero-time NCAA champions, Bowdoin seniors Connor Quinn, Mike Schlagel and John McGinnis lurking in our apartment playing our Wii and hanging out with our roommates. They had apparently decided that they needed to make an appearance in our wine column. Luckily, they brought with them a sumptuous feast of leftover buffet food, chips and shrimp.
And they brought wine, so all was good.
Each brought their own wine, so we had three bottles to sample. Quinn brought a red blend from Dark Horse. We’d love nothing more than to tell you what was in this blend, however the makers decided that information like that just wasn’t important. McGinnis also brought us a red wine blend, this one a Sterling Vintner’s Collection. Finally, Schlagel brought us a Cabernet Sauvignon from Newman’s Own. When a company makes both wine and salad dressing, you know the wine’s gonna be good.
Our main intention that night was to drink the disturbing combination of red wine and Pepsi. Quinn had been begging us since September to feature this seemingly noxious combination in our column, and we decided it was time to humor him. Now before you decide to throw your paper down in disgust, keep in mind that this drink is actually the popular Spanish drink Kalimotxo. We assume it is all the rage for teenagers in Basque country. This 50-50 combination of cheap red wine and cola is a trip into new territory for Bottom of the Barrel.
You may be wondering why we chose Pepsi over Coke. This was purely on the recommendation of Quinn, who told us we had to use Pepsi. We were told later that Diet Rite from Wal-Mart was the normal mixer, but that that choice of Pepsi would be more befitting of our column’s classy reputation.
The Kalimotxo combo was surprisingly—some may say shockingly–drinkable. In fact, we all found it quite good. This may be due to the fact that the CO2 content in the wine makes the alcohol hit you harder, according to (somehow) chem and physics double major Schlagel. (Please don’t fact check us). The dominating note in both flavor and smell was sugar, unsurprisingly. The Pepsi overpowered whatever wine you poured it into.
In terms of the wine itself, none stood out as particularly good. The Dark Horse blend and Newman’s Own were both light in flavor. The Dark Horse was perhaps better tasting, while the Newman’s Own had the best nose of the three. The Sterling Vintner’s, however, stood out as particularly bad. While McGinnis hypothesized it may have something to do with the 5 percent Malbec ratio, we think it much more likely that the wine just sucks. Although to be fair when one is cleansing the palette with sharp cheddar cheese, accurate tasting may be impaired.
Overall we’d recommend the wines in the following order (Pepsi optional):
1. Dark Horse Big Red Blend, Hannaford’s, $7.992. Newman’s Own Cabernet Sauvignon, Hannaford’s, $10.99 (Side note: all Newman’s Own profits go to charity, so we felt that it was okay to go over our normal $10 limit.)3. Sterling Vinter’s Collection, Hannaford’s, $8.99
So at the end of the day, none of these wines stood out as great. But that’s not really what matters. First, when you’re combining wine with Pepsi, quality really becomes a secondary concern. You could use literally any red and it would taste sugary and delicious. Second, it’s important to remember that wine drinking should never be done (purely) for the wine’s sake. This was the best tasting we’ve had thus far, but this column was the hardest to write because of all the good moments and funny comments we wanted to include but couldn’t for lack of space. So we’ll end by asking you to go out, grab some friends, buy some wine and Pepsi, maybe some plastic wine glasses (stems included, per recommendation from the hockey boys), and enjoy those that you’re with. That’s what drinking wine is all about.
Additional Notes:
Brandon: Perhaps the first time I’ve agreed with Connor Quinn about anything. What is happening to me?
Bryce: Regrettably drinkable, red wine and Pepsi is a good way to start a bad habit.

Bottom of the Barrel

Sweet dreams not made of this: Insomnia Pinot Grigio

This piece represents the opinion of the authors:

January 29, 2015

Did you miss us? We certainly missed you. Or at least we missed the wine. Because that’s what it is really all about, isn’t it?

As we write this, we are holed up in our Coles Tower room sheltering ourselves from Snowpocalypse Juno, which is currently raging just outside our window. On a night like tonight, there is no greater joy than to uncork a bottle of wine, put on a good rom-com, and spend time with those who mean most to you. After all, with weather like this, they’ll probably soon be buried under a mountain of snow.

We decided on “It’s Complicated” for the movie (can’t go wrong with Meryl) and we honestly can’t imagine anyone better than ourselves to spend time with. That only leaves us with the wine. This week we went with a California Pinot Grigio, this time under the Insomnia brand. Fitting, given the long hours we have both been keeping due to our level of schoolwork. So much for an easy senior spring.

Normally we supply an entertaining backstory regarding how we carefully compared and selected our wine. This time, however, our wine choice was gifted to us by Brandon’s grandmother as her highest sub-$10 recommendation. We shall see if it lives up to its lofty expectations.

So without further ado, the cork was popped and the wine was glugging into our glasses. Let the early week drinking commence once again. Our initial impression was that the wine certainly looked like pinot grigio, and carried a pleasantly light nose. Although to be fair, Bryce and I have been sick the past few days, so that may be a product of congestion more than anything else.

At first sip, we were initially struck by the dryness of the wine. It was certainly drier than our last pinot, although when you are drawing comparisons with FlipFlop you never really know what to expect. Bryce did not find the dryness to be totally off-putting. Brandon, however, felt that this wine tasted like you could strip paint with it.

In terms of mouthfeel, Brandon found it to be quite nice, however Bryce was not as approving. He felt that the mouthfeel was unimpressive and liquidy, seeming to forget that when one is drinking wine, liquidity is presumably to be expected. The body leaves something to be desired. And here we were in rare complete agreement, finding the body to be thin and rather watery.

Despite our ambivalence towards this wine, we still decided to drain the entire bottle. We felt it would disappoint you, our loyal readers, if we didn’t. If nothing else, despite the wine’s misleading name, it help put us to sleep. To be honest, most of the wines we review for this column have been used as a general sleep aid. And no, in case you are wondering, we are not alcoholics! Don’t judge us!

Additional Notes:

Brandon: They must call this Insomnia because the taste of this wine will haunt my dreams for years to come.

Bryce: The more I drink, the less happy I am. That should never be the case.

Nose: 2.5
Mouthfeel: 2.5
Body: 3.5
Taste: 3.5

Make a 3 am run to get some Insomnia, Hannaford, $8.99.

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