The Bowdoin Orient

We are sad to report that we were the victims of a hostile takeover. No, not by our local wine connoisseur, but by the men’s ice hockey team. Upon our return home after a long two hours of grueling work at the library’s circulation desk, we found two-time NESCAC champions and zero-time NCAA champions, Bowdoin seniors Connor Quinn, Mike Schlagel and John McGinnis lurking in our apartment playing our Wii and hanging out with our roommates. They had apparently decided that they needed to make an appearance in our wine column. Luckily, they brought with them a sumptuous feast of leftover buffet food, chips and shrimp.

And they brought wine, so all was good. 

Each brought their own wine, so we had three bottles to sample. Quinn brought a red blend from Dark Horse. We’d love nothing more than to tell you what was in this blend, however the makers decided that information like that just wasn’t important. McGinnis also brought us a red wine blend, this one a Sterling Vintner’s Collection. Finally, Schlagel brought us a Cabernet Sauvignon from Newman’s Own. When a company makes both wine and salad dressing, you know the wine’s gonna be good.

Our main intention that night was to drink the disturbing combination of red wine and Pepsi. Quinn had been begging us since September to feature this seemingly noxious combination in our column, and we decided it was time to humor him. Now before you decide to throw your paper down in disgust, keep in mind that  this drink is actually the popular Spanish drink  Kalimotxo. We assume it is all the rage for teenagers in Basque country. This 50-50 combination of cheap red wine and cola is a trip into new territory for Bottom of the Barrel. 

You may be wondering why we chose Pepsi over Coke. This was purely on the recommendation of Quinn, who told us we had to use Pepsi. We were told later that Diet Rite from Wal-Mart was the normal mixer, but that that choice of Pepsi would be more befitting of our column’s classy reputation.

The Kalimotxo combo was surprisingly—some may say shockingly–drinkable. In fact, we all found it quite good. This may be due to the fact that the CO2 content in the wine makes the alcohol hit you harder, according to (somehow) chem and physics double major Schlagel. (Please don’t fact check us). The dominating note in both flavor and smell was sugar, unsurprisingly.  The Pepsi overpowered whatever wine you poured it into.

In terms of the wine itself, none stood out as particularly good. The Dark Horse blend and Newman’s Own were both light in flavor. The Dark Horse was perhaps better tasting, while the Newman’s Own had the best nose of the three. The Sterling Vintner’s, however, stood out as particularly bad. While McGinnis hypothesized it may have something to do with the 5 percent Malbec ratio, we think it much more likely that the wine just sucks. Although to be fair when one is cleansing the palette with sharp cheddar cheese, accurate tasting may be impaired.

Overall we’d recommend the wines in the following order (Pepsi optional):

1. Dark Horse Big Red Blend, Hannaford’s, $7.992. Newman’s Own Cabernet Sauvignon, Hannaford’s, $10.99 (Side note: all Newman’s Own profits go to charity, so we felt that it was okay to go over our normal $10 limit.)3. Sterling Vinter’s Collection, Hannaford’s, $8.99

So at the end of the day, none of these wines stood out as great. But that’s not really what matters. First, when you’re combining wine with Pepsi, quality really becomes a secondary concern. You could use literally any red and it would taste sugary and delicious. Second, it’s important to remember that wine drinking should never be done (purely) for the wine’s sake. This was the best tasting we’ve had thus far, but this column was the hardest to write because of all the good moments and funny comments we wanted to include but couldn’t for lack of space. So we’ll end by asking you to go out, grab some friends, buy some wine and Pepsi, maybe some plastic wine glasses (stems included, per recommendation from the hockey boys), and enjoy those that you’re with. That’s what drinking wine is all about.

Additional Notes:

Brandon: Perhaps the first time I’ve agreed with Connor Quinn about anything. What is happening to me?

Bryce: Regrettably drinkable, red wine and Pepsi is a good way to start a bad habit.