Finally, how to celebrate finals

Beer Fever with Weaver: From the Beer Fever laboratory

The Natural Bull?$2.90 for...errr...one at Uncle Tom's Market. Drastic times call for drastic measures. With finals bearing down and the hours logged in at the library increasing daily, it is safe to say that these are indeed drastic times. Now I know everyone is feeling the same pressure that I am to get their work done so they can enjoy a restful, well-deserved Winter Break. But just to put things into perspective before we depart, bear with me for a second.

Beer Fever with Weaver: Settling the age-old Natty debate: Lite vs. Ice

Natural light & Natural Ice—$75.00 each per keg I think one of most tragic tendencies of college students nationwide is the degree to which we take for granted the early weeks of each semester. With Winter Break now safely behind us, the freshmen have had sufficient time to catch up with the rest of us in realizing just how miserable midterms and finals can be. But with this newfound knowledge comes newfound responsibility. Now, if you think I'm stressing the importance of hard work now to soften the impending scholarly blows later, you are wholly missing the point and I think it would be better for both of us if you saved copies of this paper for those who deserve it and brushed up on your inorganic chemistry.

Beer Fever with Weaver

Finally, how to celebrate finals

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

Alex Weaver

Columnist

December 8, 2006

Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale?$9.70 for a six-pack at Uncle Tom's Market

I'm chalking up last week's article in the win column. I do this for two reasons besides the psychological advantage it gives me heading into finals period: First, I received an e-mail from the great guys over at Red Bull, who informed me that my article is being passed around their office faster than we'll be dish ing out Colby slurs at tonight's hockey game. In fact, they liked it so much, they're currently under negotiation with the makers of Natural Light to create a Natural Bull product line, complete with action figures, lunchboxes, and that elusive five-pack (because it doesn't really count as drinking until you've knocked back that sixth).

The second reason why last week's article was a success is because, after trying my first Natural Bull in preparation for the article, I have now become completely addicted.

Now I know what you're thinking?I'd probably be better off snorting Fun Dip than pumping my body full of cheap beer and super-concentrated caffeine. You may be right, but my addiction has proved beneficial in some ways as well. Most notably, my sleepless, convulsion-filled nights and mile-a-minute days have given me lots of time to ponder the perfect beer for heading into finals and finishing our fall semester. As brutal as finals may be, keep in mind that we are on the brink of something greater, something bigger than doing well on all our finals: that is, 35 days of not doing anything. So join me in celebrating our imminent spiral into nothingness, and grab yourself a Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale.

To begin my expert analysis, I would like to first cite some facts about Celebration Ale. The official Sierra Nevada Web site asserts that "the long, cold nights of winter are a little brighter with Celebration Ale. Wonderfully robust and rich, Celebration Ale is dry-hopped for a lively, intense aroma. Brewed especially for the holidays, it is perfect for a festive gathering or for a quiet evening at home."

Normally, these plugs tend to be a little overreaching. For instance, Budweiser is now claiming that it is "The Freshest Beer Around," while PBR contends that it is "The Best Beer Served Anywhere." Now, we all love a $1 draft now and then (like every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night), but we don't try and convince ourselves that we're paying for the best beer on earth with leftover change.

Want some truth? Try this on for size: Celebration Ale was the Gold Medal Winner in the 1994 U.S. Beer Tasting Championships, as well as first place in the Chicago Beer Society's 1996 Fall Beer Tasting Competition. In 2002, Celebration pulled in the Silver Medal at the Great American Beer Festival.

Celebration Ale has turned some heads over the past 10 years or so as one of the best beers around. Though I am hesitant to agree with the San Francisco Chronicle crowning it "the best beer ever made in America," I have to admit that it is one of the most refreshing beers I have ever tasted. Its aroma, like most beers, is the first thing that hits you. It is hoppy and earthy, and pulls you in so close that you swear you're tasting it already. Once on the tongue, Celebration delivers the "robust and rich" taste it so promises by combining Chinook, Cascade, and Centennial hops. It finishes strong and pronounced, yet not overly bitter or heavy. Add to this its hearty 6.8 percent alcohol by volume, and it is well worth the money. I liken my first Celebration tasting to the feeling I had just last week after rifling a snowball so far down Ted's left ear that he couldn't hear for a week. That is to say, it is refreshing and rewarding, and leaves you begging for more.

I realize the dominant discourse regarding finals period is that they represent everything vile and disgusting that Bowdoin has to offer, but I propose we think of them differently starting right now. Instead of signifying all that stands between you and your Christmas break, why not look at the next two weeks as a celebration of the fall semester of 2006? Think of finals period, that is, as the Maine equivalent of Mardi Gras. But instead of crazy women to brighten your mood, there is only your mealtime break from the library, and where there should be colorful beads raining down on you from the heavens, there are now 20-page papers and final exams. I don't think it is that big of a stretch, and neither does the song I just collaborated on with Kool & The Gang:

There's some finals going on right here / A celebration to reward our holiday cheer. / So bring your study guides and your pencils too / Cause we're gonna make you miserable, it's true!

OK, so that song is horrible, and so are finals, but take some comfort in the fact that there is a little brewery out in Chico, California, that is busy pumping out just what we need to get through the next couple weeks with a smile on our faces and a warm buzz in our heads. So put your head down, grab a Celebration Ale, and push on through. And know that, no matter how bad your finals may appear, the celebration is right around the corner.

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