Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg and the gays of Silicon Valley, we’ve been forced to see ourselves and each other much more than generations past. That said, a trend that I’ve seen arise on social networks and in-person interactions is the rise of therapists. I obviously have a therapist; the craziest part is that he’s a he. Because of social media and the injection of buzz terms like “bare minimum,” I’ve noticed that I, and the people around me, have started diagnosing others to find closure.

In the endless vat of drama and gossip, whenever I’m told a story, I’ve found myself searching for a certain “meaning” or reasoning behind why some people do what they do. And that’s with honest intentions! Was it “Oh, she’s just having a bad day,” or “It’s not just you, he does that to everyone”? There’s always been a curious side of me that wonders why people act the way they do. This isn’t an original experience. What I do think is novel is the youths’ search for a “scientific” explanation. Growing up, if someone was acting rudely, society would just call them mean. Today, if someone is being mean, I’m quick to hop on phrases like, “He’s just projecting,” and “Oh, your insecurity is showing.” Although these are fun quips to keep in my rotation, I thought to myself: Why am I talking like a therapist? I’m obviously not a psychologist (even though I got a five in AP Psychology), but I believe the proliferation of therapists on social media, those terrible Better Help ads, may be doing more harm than good.

When I am hurt by someone or their actions, it can feel affirming to have a random person on the internet tell me about how birth order or childhood trauma could result in such behavior. The affirmation of professionals is especially important when we consider how all of us were forced to “become experts” and “pick sides” during Covid-19. As a Floridian, I have people ask why I’m wearing a mask and whether I think it will be helpful. Because I felt interrogated by such questions, I decided to learn why I was doing what I was doing. Although this is a small example, it’s expected that anyone entering a political argument has a solid background in numerous topics: economics, biology, sociology, gender studies, etc. I felt pressured to learn and form beliefs as a teen in order to feel secure in my own position.

As in these political debates, if I am able to bring the “empirical” world of psychology to diagnose a friend or classmate, my conclusion is accompanied by the satisfaction of scientific substantiation.

Since we’ve been pervaded by millions of “therapists” online (some being actual certified professionals, others just random b-tches), it can become challenging to differentiate between the good and the bad. I’m obviously not advocating for abolishing therapy, but I do want to caution other people from falling into the trap of constantly therapizing others as a form of rationalization.

In the end, although it can be satisfying to have a psychological theory of why this person ghosted you, you’ll really never know. As frustrating as this may sound, it may be more comforting to accept people’s actions as they are instead of compulsively diagnosing and evaluating their every move. Even if you were to hear their rationale, what makes you think it would resolve your own pain? Instead of trying to figure out the “why” behind people’s actions, it may be helpful for me to look at how I can move forward more prosperously in my life. Per usual, this is a “do as I say, not as I do” opinion. Hopefully, I can turn my attention away from others’ hurtful actions so I can dedicate my finite time and energy to the people around me who love, care for and appreciate me unconditionally, in the best of times and in the worst of times.

Neiman Mocombe is a member of the Class of 2026.