As an archconservative, it has been difficult for me to admit that I am pro-choice in public. There has been a certain stigma attached to pro-choice folks like myself, so I prefer to keep it on the down-low. Since I am graduating in just a few days and immediately moving across the country, I feel it is my time to come clean and admit it. Let me get one thing straight. I am not pro-abortion. In fact, if Roe vs. Wade were ever overturned, I would celebrate that day like the Fourth of July every year.

Agree with their agenda or not, the Bowdoin College Republicans have driven campus politics this year. The events sponsored by the College Republicans have been the talk of campus all year long. Never before has a single group taken control of campus politics so much?well, since the endless, mind-numbing "Diversity Discussions" last year. As opposed to last year, the debates spurred by the Republicans have been constructive.

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a Common Hour given by BSG President Haliday Douglas '05. It was the first time since I have been at Bowdoin when a student gave a lecture, and it was a well-delivered and intelligent presentation. However, I worry that Douglas' presentation has further emboldened Bowdoin students to take center stage. Douglas' lecture should remain the exception, not the rule.

I find it astounding that so many educated people do not understand money. Every day I hear people arguing that our public schools need more money, the minimum wage needs to be raised, welfare needs to be expanded...on and on. Sometimes, I even hear economics majors argue that public school teachers should be paid as much as investment bankers.

Before we left for Spring Break, my Orient colleague Conor Williams wrote a column on the privatization of Social Security entitled "The Administration's Doublespeak." In his concluding paragraph, Williams argued that, "the President's plan has no safeguard for hubris." Why stop with hubris? There are seven deadly sins and hubris is just one of them. The government should prevent us from committing any of them. Here is my plan.

Vernon Robinson has sparked a remarkable amount of discussion on campus recently, thanks in large part to the provocative advertisements that foretold his arrival. The speech was boycotted by the College Democrats and other students had condemned Robinson as an "Uncle Tom." Members of the faculty were furiously denouncing him in class. A week later, Robinson actually arrived on campus.

Tons of people are making millions off of fad diets and "get-in-shape quick" schemes pedaled on TV. In my humble opinion, every one of these people is wrong. They target the feeble in spirit to take their money, while offering very little in the form of lifestyle change. They offer complex yet incomplete answers to simple problems. Because I love you, gentle reader, I give you the Ben Peisch lifestyle, completely free.

There was a time when teachers were allowed to punish students as they saw fit. Over the years, the power has shifted to lawyers, who control what teachers do in the classroom. Parents have the ability to call hearings when they feel their son or daughter has been treated unfairly. Many teachers are terrified of the repercussions of discipline in their classes, and as a result the students do not respect authority.

Despite the facts that Summers had in his arsenal to support his claim, he has been widely criticized as sexist, and his credibility to serve as president of Harvard has been called into question.

A new translation of the Bible has received attention in the news recently. The new "gender accurate" version released by the Today New International Version will replace archaic terms such as "with child" to "pregnant." Loaded words such as "men" will be changed to "men and women." The effort is being made to make the Bible "more accessible" to younger readers.

I have long theorized that four years at Bowdoin, while building up our minds, erodes our sense of personal responsibility. The evidence is compelling. Whiny and entitled comment cards at the dining hall. Messes abandoned all over campus, left for the College to clean up. Complete lack of hygiene that results in housekeeper exploitation.

The student body was asked recently about recommendations for next year's first-year book. The timing could not have been better, because I just finished a great new novel over Thanksgiving break: I Am Charlotte Simmons by the incomparable Tom Wolfe. Since the last four selections have been left-wing propaganda pieces, I Am Charlotte Simmons gets my vote for next year.

Upon reaching Bowdoin College, first years (not freshmen, mind you!) are taught the ins and outs of the fabled "Bowdoin Bubble." This "Bubble," which revisionist historians date to the late 1960s, was used as an excuse to forget about the "real world" and enjoy the liminal atmosphere of college.

The results of the election on November 2 brought out the worst in the Bush-hating faction of the "Left." While many Democrats were gracious in defeat (including the College Democrats), many put their misguided hatred on full display.

Voter intimidation was a hot topic heading up to this year's election. Accusations were flying. Emergency backup lawyers were called up from the minor leagues. The fear was that people would arrive ready to vote but wind up fleeing in a frenzied panic.

As the presidential campaign moves into its final week, both Bush and Kerry are campaigning hard. Kerry has been sticking to his strengths, which are apparently speaking Spanish, talking about God, and... hunting? While both candidates are guilty of this last-second pandering, Kerry's embarrassing goose-hunting escapade gives another example of why he is not fit to be president.

As I prepare to cast my vote for President Bush on November 2, I cannot help but think back to the last presidential election. I admit it?had I been old enough to vote during my senior year of high school, I would have proudly cast my vote for Ralph Nader. However, I, the budding communist revolutionary, was pegged as a "Republican" by some of my leftist colleagues soon after arriving on campus.