April is the cruelest month, and no one knows such cruelty better than the Bowdoin student arriving back on campus after Spring Break. We arrive in dreary Brunswick to trees as barren as our beds, temperatures as low as our GPAs, and snow as slushy as our desire to don muck boots and make the trek to Thorne. Yet we muster the will which says, “Hold on. Inside we are ignited, we dreamers, aflame.” Enough of freezing people recollecting snow. Ivies beckons and we must heed its call. 

But beware: These ivied exhortations are in more danger than usual this year. Our lineup of a Sammy Adams alternative and the guy who soundtracks “Grey’s Anatomy” inspires more tears than imbibed beers. Is Mat Kearney the E-Board's pre-emptive strike against couples fornicating under the Whittier bleachers again? As for Timeflies, the third Tufts-bred performer to come to campus in two years, I’d rather they at least keep it in the family. Thank Dionysus for Racer X.
I still have utter faith that not even Kearney's limpest lyrics and sorriest soft-rock sighs could dampen Bowdoin bacchanalia. But I believe that music should heighten, not hamper, your annual ritual of all things sinful, so I've composed a playlist to blast us into, and through, Ivies. Here's to putting the muse back in music. Here's to “Get Lucky.”

“Good Sex” - Kevin Drew
Kevin Drew is a member of Broken Social Scene who came to Bowdoin in 2008, back before we became Broken Music Scene, and he has returned from the outer space sounds of his post-rock pals to plop into your bedroom. He sings “Good Sex” bright-eyed and beaming, reminding us that “good sex should never make you feel hollow” even at the height of debauchery. But then he winks, presciently adding, “good sex should never make you feel clean.” The honesty turns a banal subject into an intimate affair, and the swelling hypnosis of the piano will have us all coming back for more. This is a love song for the pre-Ivies tryst, or a cozy flash of exhibition—brief, human, heart-warming. “I'm still breathing with you, baby,” he coos, willing us to remember that we Bowdoin students are in this together.

“Drunk in Love” – Beyoncé
If “Good Sex” is the buzz, “Drunk in Love” is the intoxication. Indeed, perhaps a better title for the Bowdoin student would be “In Love Drunk,” but Ivies is no time to be parsing words. “I've been drinking, I want you,” Queen B roars, summing up Friday night with precision. Subtext is for the weak and sober. We divas and hustlers have no time for such beating around the bush. With Bey on our lips and drink loosening our hips, “Drunk in Love” is the triumphant celebration of the heart and body. We're young, we're raucous, we’re having breasteses for breakfast.

“Delorean Dynamite” - Todd Terje
He's a mustachioed Norwegian DJ with a debut record called “It’s Album Time.” If that doesn’t sound fun, you should probably listen to Mat Kearney. Terje gets the party started. This is the song to play during the early Saturday rally: no one can feel hung over while grooving to Scandinavian disco. The beat takes all the fun in the cosmos and places it in your very soul—so why not blast it throughout the day as well? It's worth it just for the Daft Punk-esque breakdown halfway, which is sure to get even the most dazed concert goers back on their feet. 

“April's Song” - Real Estate
The cruelest month gets its sweetest song. The profound pleasantness of Real Estate is in top form here—and good thing too. Demanding too much investment in the Sunday haze could prove disastrous. “April’s Song” is the tune to crack the last Natty Ice to and survey the wreckage from the comfort of lawn chairs: a snoozing roommate, a loose pair of jorts stained by some dubious elixir, a trashed dorm you're thinking of not cleaning up because you only have a few more weeks here anyway. The air is thick with sadness that it's over, and pride that we made it through. Your only move left is to high-five your buds and pretend tomorrow isn't Monday.