Miley Cyrus has done what the Republican Party could not. She has awakened—in our collective unconscious—a debate on God, the gender binary and the American family. Miley—unlike Gaga, Romney and Hova—has brought public health to the forefront of the American mind. Her album Bangerz has inspired us to ask big questions: What does a video of Nick Cage’s head superimposed over Miley’s naked body really mean? Who does the sledgehammer in “Wrecking Ball” represent? Is it Liam Hemsworth, or Miley herself? Are we meta, yet?
Did Miley Purell that hammer she so lovingly licked? I hope so.
Miley has revolutionized language. Imagine googling “wrecking ball’ a year ago or, more provocatively, “turnt.” Her popularization of “turnt” (defined by Urban Dictionary as “the most wonderful feeling in the world...the only way to reach maximum swag”) has crossed cultural boundaries. Though “turnt” has been in use for years—see Juicy J, Roscoe Dash and Soulja Boy—Miley is the champion wordsmith who carried it from the relatively obscure to the common (and by common, I mean white) linguistic bank.
She’s introduced us to words we didn’t know we wanted.
Miley understands the societal implications of this choice. On August 12th, she tweeted, “i [sic] know what color my skin is. you [sic] can stop with the friendly reminders b*tch.” Her appropriation of both language and dance are inciting a true American debate over race. She’s basically entering politics.
Billy Ray Cyrus understands Miley’s role as a visionary. When asked about “Wrecking Ball,” he said: “the song’s a smash...and her performance vocally on the tune reflects her…sheer God given talent.”
I agree. Maybe Miley was divinely placed there, dressed in white cotton—like an angel—to spark a dialogue on the American condition vis-a-vis family structure and religion. If so, it worked.
Following the release of “Wrecking Ball,” a GIF of naked Miley riding Billy Ray’s head went viral. This illustrates the Oedipus Complex playing out in our collective imagination. Another GIF showed Miley twerking on Robin Thicke at the VMAs, while Billy Ray’s face floats omnipresent overhead. These images—not unlike George W. Bush’s fine art—bring both the heavenly and the terrestrial father to mind.
My biggest question for Miley—artist, angel, linguist—is this: What about the children? What happens when little Hannah sees “Wrecking Ball” and decides to lick a dirty sledgehammer? Who is there to warn her about asbestos poisoning or the dangers of heavy metals? Miley’s “Wrecking Ball” music video broke Vevo’s record for most views in 24 hours. That means a lot of little Hannahs saw Miley riding around on that ball banging against things.
We all know that while Miley is grand for a cultural makeover and debate, she is also dangerous. Her discovery of her tongue for instance—like a child finding its thumb for the first time—reminds us to honor our bodies. She’s the Eve Ensler of the inner mouth. However, with this power comes great responsibility—and it’s responsibility we have yet to see.
Thus, I have a proposition: Chris Christie/Miley Cyrus in 2016. Miley has brought up the issues the American people need to wrestle with (she is also gluten free). The King of Bacon and The Girl Who Can’t Stop should work together to create a better nation. It would be like that time my skinny alcoholic aunt married a fat-and-sober rich guy so she could help him lose weight and he could help her stop drinking. It’s symbiotic. Miley Cyrus and Chris Christie would make a dream team: creating art, changing the world and making sure we, as a nation, sanitize large metal objects before straddling them and/or tracing our tongues across their surfaces. GOP, it’s time to get turnt.