This week proved to be one of, if not the most challenging in my one-and-a-half year tenure as a columnist for the Orient; at least in terms of deliberating what to write about. The difficulty of my situation, however, lay not within the confines of a slow news week, but rather a week that brought with it too many storylines worth further exploration: The resurgence of exciting hockey, the Eastern Conference NBA Playoffs unfolding better than we ever might have imagined, the NFL Draft set to kickoff tomorrow afternoon, and how the D'Backs have become the best team in baseball, to name a few. But rather than choose one of the infinite topics and elaborate on just one of them, I decided to compose a lesson plan?the top ten things we learned this week. And with Ivies already upon us, I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
10. Barry Zito might just be the worst pitcher in baseball
You laugh, but the southpaw is the only pitcher in the league with five losses (zero wins), his ERA is an elephantine 5.61, he's struck out only 10 batters in 25.2 innings, and he just happens to pitch for a team that has one of the worst offenses in baseball history. But hey, if he continues on this pace he'll become the first pitcher wearing a $126 million price tag to start a season 0-20. Let's make history, Barry.
9. Hockey is fun to watch
Okay, so Alex Ovechkin's playoff run is over after his Capitals bowed out to the Flyers in an epic game-seven battle. But there were two other game-seven clashes in addition to Tuesday night's thriller in our nation's capital, which saw the Canadiens and Sharks through to the semifinals after dropping the valiant Bruins and Flames, respectively. It doesn't stop there though. Sid-the-kid and his undefeated Penguins are set to square off with the streaking Rangers, and old foes Detroit and Colorado rendezvous for the first time since the 2002 Western Conference Finals, bringing all of us back to the pre-Versus era; I can hear Gary Thorne now...
8. Icons are sometimes short-lived
There was a time when Shaun Alexander?despite his geographic disadvantage playing in the Pacific Northwest?dominated the NFL scene. With his humble personality, gapped-toothed grin, and his sheer ability to score, Alexander the Great won over every fan's hearts, including addicts of the video game Madden, whose cover he graced in the 2007 version of the video game. But after struggling mercilessly through the last two seasons due to injuries and the absence of left guard Steve Hutchinson, who fled to Minnesota for more money, Alexander's numbers declined, as did his aura. And sadly, earlier this week, the Seahawks cut the 2005 NFL MVP, making him a free agent. And while the Colts and Patriots are apparently both interested in attaining his services, I think all of us are going to miss No. 37 wearing those disgusting polluted-ocean blue colored uniforms with the electric green trim.
7. A flame is bound to burn out
On a somewhat related note, the Blue Jays parted ways with Frank Thomas last week making him a free agent as well. The Big Hurt was hitting just .167 with three homers and 11 RBIs, but has shown that he can still mash. Is it the end for the potential Hall-of-Famer? I sure hope not. I mean, who else can swat a ball 500 feet with a swing that looks like he's trying to back-slap someone five feet away from him?
6. The Suns may never win it
Not unless they learn how to guard their opponents, that is. It is amazing to me how there can be a problem so glaringly obvious, yet so foolishly ignored. And the only person to blame is head coach Mike D'Antoni, who, in his successful attempt to groom Phoenix into an athletic (isn't Shaq on the team though?), fast-paced squad that can run other teams off the floor, has neglected to implant the most essential fundamental in basketball: a little freakin' defense!
The Sacramento Kings of this era, the Suns trailed the defending champion Spurs two games to none going into Thursday, and barring some unforeseen miracle, they will miss a trip to the NBA Finals yet again, for the exact same reason as before.
5. Chris Paul is the MVP
Kobe is not.
4. There's a lot more to Florida
Not only are the wholesale Marlins riding high in first place in the NL East (despite allowing more runs (102) than they've actually scored (94) as of Wednesday), but when they open their new stadium in 2011, the Fish will be renamed the Miami Marlins, becoming more a part of the city that has become arguably the worst in professional sports. It's got a nice ring to it though.
3. No one wants to be the goat
Just ask Liverpool defender John Arne Riise, who accidentally headed the ball into his own net in stoppage time at Anfield Tuesday night, which gave rival Chelsea the slight advantage in the UEFA Champions League Semifinals going into the second leg at Stamford Bridge in London on Wednesday; or Manchester United right winger Cristiano Ronaldo, who booted a penalty kick wide right early on in the 0-0 draw against FC Barcelona Wednesday night at Camp Nou, failing to give the Red Devils the advantage in the other half of the semis. Good thing nobody cares about soccer...
2. Ignorance is bliss
The Miami Dolphins announced earlier this week that they will be selecting Michigan offensive tackle Jake Long with tomorrow's first overall pick in the 2008 NFL Draft, becoming one of the several teams over the past half decade or so to kill off any whiff of suspense as to who might go number one, and thus, making the first hour of the draft the most anticlimactic spectacle since "Once." Do us all a favor, Bill Parcells, and take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time (to not know who you're going to select!).
1. Right now it is great to be a Knicks fan
And I shouldn't have to tell you why.