Old East India Pale Ale ($5.99 for a six-pack, available at Hannaford)
This IPA is a standard on the tab at the Sea Dog Brewery and delivers a great taste that only Sea Dog could. Because it is 6.2 percent alcohol by volume, I happily purchased this beer the other night down at the bar, curious to see how smooth this IPA would taste in relation to others I had sampled in the previous hours. The first thing that struck me about this beer was that it was noticeably darker than any of the other beers on tap and seemed to weigh more, although I am told that is untrue.
As a seasoned beer drinker, I knew that IPAs have a unique taste?subtly bitter and full of flavor. Sea Dog followed suit accordingly, packing in a strong taste of hops and barley, akin to what caffeinated beer tastes like. Unlike other IPAs, the Old East, in true Sea Dog tradition, added a hint of sweetness to the beer, making it easier on the palate. I recommend giving this one a try. My Scores: Taste: 4.2, Partyability: 3.7, Benefit/Cost: 4.1.
Coors Light ($4.19 for a six-pack, available at Hannaford)
It's interesting that the manufacturers call this gold-colored water beer, because any taste they put into it when they brewed it was lost somewhere between Golden, Colorado and the rest of America. Better known as the "Silver Bullet," this beer touts itself as being the drink of choice for awesome dudes and extreme chicks on ski trips during spring break, guaranteeing you a "rad" time as you frolic in the mountain snow.
When questioned whether this was true, Allegra Spalding '08 remarked, "Yeah, I tapped the Rockies once, but the party still sucked."
Not only does this beer not have a recognizable taste, its alcohol content is a disappointing 4.2 percent, forcing regular beer drinkers to consume at least three or four more beers than usual. This is ironic because many people seem to drink "light" beer because it contains fewer calories without realizing that it will take more beers for them to feel the desired effect. Either way, if you're drinking Coors Light, you still don't look as cool as the people in the commercials. My Scores: Taste: N/A, Partyability: 3.0, Benefit/Cost: 1.8.
O'Doul's ($3.99 for a six-pack, available in the far, far upper left corner at Hannaford)
I have gotten emails from some concerned students in recent weeks about how they think I should give non-alcoholic beer a chance because it's not fair that my beer column only reviews alcoholic beer. Since I realize it is wildly offensive to only review alcoholic beer in a beer column, I tried a bottle of O'Douls the other day. The first thing I noticed was the sticker on the box exclaiming how the beer "only had 45 calories!" I was excited. I was still asked for ID at the checkout so as to prevent my juvenile indulgence from abusing the 0.05 percent alcohol content furtively hidden in the depths of the bottle. The taste of this beer is hard to explain, much the same way it is hard to describe what decaffeinated coffee tastes like.
The rest of the bottle delived all the bad parts of beer and none of the good: poor aftertaste, thin texture-and no alcohol to justify it. The best use for this beer is probably serving it to a friend who has never drank before and seeing whether they act drunk act downing four or five.
Though I think it is a great choice for the designated driver, I am pretty sure O'Doul's should stay tucked away in the forgotten corner of the fridge. My Scores: Taste: 0.3, Partyability: N/A, Benefit/Cost: 0.05.