Hello hello, dear reader, welcome to the Orient’s beer column. Let me introduce myself—although, to be realistic, I think you’re probably reading this because you’re one of my supportive friends and thus you already know me. Who knows? Ideal-case scenario you’re looking for some crafty beer inspiration (#beerspiration?). I’m a beer lover currently studying abroad in Moscow, Russia. I’ll admit straight up that I have never studied brewing or beer seriously; I will probably mess up my alcohol terminology at times—please forgive me. I do it with the best intentions and a serious appreciation for a good beer.
Since I’m in another country, it’s tricky to give helpful beer recommendations for Bowdoin students. I think I’m going to try to find American equivalents to what I’m drinking here, look for Russian beers available in Maine or go off of memory concerning what I like to drink. By the way, it is 100% false that Russians only love vodka. In fact, there’s quite a nice craft beer scene, which is good news for me.
Okay, beer talk now: if you happen to be in Moscow, I recommend checking out the bars in the renovated chocolate factory region, Red October. In Brunswick, I’d probably just have purchased a pack of Smithwick’s for the first week back—it’s cheap and bars in Brunswick don’t carry it. Smithwick’s is not well-known but it’s definitely my all-time favorite red ale. The best metaphor I can think of is that it’s basically the LBD* of beers, allowing it to pair well with almost any food or mood. I’ll rhapsodize briefly: Smithwick’s is the ultimate balancing act. It’s malty, but not overwhelmingly sweet; flavorful and earthy, but not bitter; smooth and very easy to drink, but not bland. It’s a great beer to start with, no matter what you choose to drink afterwards, so maybe Smithwick’s is a particularly fitting drink now, as this time of year marks the beginning of seemingly everything (and speaking from experience, orientations never end). Because it is a subtler drink, Smithwick’s enhances the flavors of other stronger or heavier tasting beers that follow, like stouts or IPAs. At the same time, it’s still flavorful enough that you won’t be bored—and this aftertaste somewhat covers up the taste of less mouthwatering beers if needed.
Quick facts: Smithwick’s originated in Kilkenny, Ireland, is classified as an Irish red ale and has an alcohol percentage of 4.5%. Most people think only of Guinness when they think of Irish beer, but the truth is there is so much more variety. Uncoincidentally, Guinness now also owns Smithwick’s. It’s a smart company.
A 12-pack of Smithwick’s costs approximately $15, exactly the same price as Sam Adams or Blue Moon—so money is no excuse for not giving it a try.
Smithwick’s company also brews Smithwick’s Pale Ale, but I prefer the fuller taste of the red. It’s naturally better on tap—less carbonated, so you can appreciate the malty taste better—but the bottled version is still pretty decent. A friend told me there’s a place in Bath that does have Smithwick’s on tap. I plan to check it out when I’m back, but if you take the initiative to explore Bath’s bar scene before I do—please go grab a Smithwick’s for me.
Next, if you’re going to drink a beer properly, I think you need to do some toasting. If you only want to know about the beer, you can stop reading here, but I’m personally fascinated by toasting culture. For example, did you know that in Germany, it’s essential to maintain eye contact when toasting? If you don’t meet the other person’s eyes when you clink your glasses, you’ll have seven years of bad sex. Seven. I don’t know if this rule applies in America, but perhaps it’s better to be safe than sorry.
You can also practice vocabulary while drinking. From my experience, knowing “cheers” in multiple languages is often more useful for socializing and traveling than knowing other phrases (“I love you,” for example—when are you really going to need to say that in multiple languages?). Since we’re drinking beer from Kilkenny, “sláinte!” seems appropriate—“cheers” in Irish Gaelic, pronounced “slahn-che.”
Go forth and impress your friends with your choice of perfect beer, intense eye contact and cool new words. Thank you for reading; do email me if you have suggestions—until next time.
*LBD = Little Black Dress, or a wardrobe staple that goes with anything and is always useful.