This week marks Bowdoin’s annual observance that consent is—just as it was last year—sexy. Consent is Sexy Week is how we as a school have chosen to address the issues of consent, coercion and assault that are all the more present in the public eye in the wake of the Rolling Stone debacle and other highly publicized stories.
Consent is Sexy Week was and is a great idea. Taking an annual moment to reflect on what constitutes an acceptable sexual interaction in our culture is a valuable and critical choice. That is why I feel so conflicted when I say that I really don’t like parts of the week’s message.
I feel that the phrase “Consent is Sexy” makes consent sound like a fun and optional extra. By operating under the principle that sex sells, Consent is Sexy Week places the Alliance for Sexual Assault Prevention (ASAP) in the position of marketing the ethics of informed and equitable consent to the student body—a position it shouldn’t have to be in.
People have the choice to be unsexy. I choose to be unsexy when I show up to class unshowered, uncombed and wearing last week’s sweatpants. However, there is no option when it comes to consent. Consent should not have to be sold, marketed, wrapped up in a sexy ribbon, or otherwise presented to students as something fun they might want to consider. It always needs to be obtained and maintained throughout an experience. It is a fundamental human right, and never optional nor negotiable.
There are events during Consent is Sexy Week that openly express this idea. However, the majority of the student body does not attend these events. Limited space and scheduling conflicts keep many of us from actually going to the events, and often the only takeaway is the saying “consent is sexy.”
That is where I feel the biggest issue lies. Some students rely on this phrase to define consent. Last year, two of my friends misconstrued the meaning of this week to solely be, “consent has to be sexy,” which is clearly not its main focus. Advertising consent as being sexy undermines the seriousness of the issue. On the other hand, I do recognize that Please Don’t Rape People Week doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
It would seem that the basic theses of the week (get consent, affirm consent, respect the ability to revoke consent, etc.) should really be self-evident. And they do seem intuitive. Yet somehow, we still see assaults happening at Bowdoin, and there are a number of students that have suffered unwanted and aggressive sexual advances on campus—myself among them.
There are still people at Bowdoin who have managed to remain ignorant (willfully or otherwise) of the basic principles that Consent is Sexy Week tries to convey. They treat consent lightly or just don’t understand it. This could be because they believe that consent obtained from an intoxicated person is admissible, or that 10 no’s and one yes really do add up to yes, or that consent, once obtained from a particular person, lasts indefinitely and doesn’t need to be refreshed with each encounter. Somehow, these misconceptions survive.
I believe that Consent is Sexy Week represents a commendable effort. Its events address the problems of assault, harassment and coercion on campus. However, whatever important and meaningful content the week may include, most students’ experience of it is limited to the tagline. Obtaining consent in a way that doesn’t derail the mood is great, and consent can be obtained, maintained and respected in a sexy way.
But that’s not really the point. Consent isn’t trendy, fun, or optional—as calling it “sexy” implies. The slogan “Consent is Sexy” presents is a fun, pastel image of a gravely serious issue. It’s time to treat the crimes of assault, coercion and harassment with the seriousness they are due.
Damian Ramsdell is a member of the Class of 2017.