Matt Glatt: How about that USA hockey team, huh? Miracle on Ice 2.0!

Mikey Jarrell: Say what you want about the Olympics, but the biggest story of the past couple weeks has to be Michael Sam. Sorry, Putin.

Wiley Spears: For those of you who haven’t heard yet, defensive end Michael Sam of the University of Missouri will become the first active openly gay player in any of the four major North American sports leagues, which are the MLB, NFL, NBA, and—

MJ: —the PGA tour.

WS: Nope.

MG: Yay! Progress!

MJ: Assuming he gets drafted, that is.

WS: He’s the SEC Defensive Player of the Year, of course he’s going to get drafted! Mel Kiper projected him as a fourth-round pick. The dude will be suiting up on Sundays this fall, no doubt about it.

MJ: I’ll tell you what, if I were a GM, I wouldn’t touch him.

MG: I can’t wait to hear this.

MJ: I’d look at it the same as any other off-the-field issue. It’s a risk you have to be willing to take, and given the crapshoot known as “talent evaluation,” I’d rather take somebody without the baggage.

WS: Off-the-field issue?! Ray Rice beating his fiancée is an off-the-field issue. Aaron Hernandez being charged with murder is an off-the-field issue. Michael Sam’s sexual preference is not an off-the-field issue. In fact, by lumping them together you just look like an intolerant jerk.

MJ: No, I look like a businessman. It’s very clear to me that the NFL locker-room environment is a very volatile place, and some players are definitely not ready to have a gay teammate.

WS: Then explain to me why the Missouri locker room accepted him? Sam came out to them back in August, before he even told his parents, and yet the media never found out about it. Plus, Sports Illustrated asked 51 players if they would comfortable with a gay teammate and 44 said yes! Boy, locker rooms sure are unwelcoming places.

MG: Misrepresentative sampling! Obviously all 44 of those players were gay.

MJ: That still leaves seven who weren’t OK with it. All it takes is one guy to make a scene and destroy all that team chemistry that they say is so important.

MG: Oh my God, Mikey.

WS: And I’m sure there are more than seven players that wouldn’t be comfortable playing with Riley Cooper after he was caught dropping the n-word on camera this past summer. But all of Cooper’s teammates forgave him and he went on to have a career season with the Eagles.

MJ: And yet Chris Kluwe doesn’t have a job. Kluwe made public his moderately progressive views on gay rights and called out a member of the Vikings’ coaching staff for saying, “We should round up all the gays, send them to an island, and then nuke it until it glows.” And now a solid NFL punter can’t find a spot on an NFL roster. Meanwhile, exactly zero NBA teams have offered Jason Collins even a 10-day contract since he came out as being gay last year. He would’ve become the first openly gay athlete, but now nobody wants anything to do with him!

WS: Those are both old guys who can’t play anymore. These teams want to win, and they want the players who can help them do it. Michael Sam can help teams win. For Pete’s sake, if Michael Vick can get a second chance, why blacklist a gay athlete?

MG: Did someone take a shit in the bathroom? Oh wait, it’s just the pathetic remains of Mikey’s common sense.

MJ: Oh, come on. There’s still a very disturbing trend here, and it leads me to believe that the NFL isn’t ready for this. And I heard Chris Webber say the exact same thing about the NBA.

WS: Chris Webber doesn’t know jack about NBA culture these days anyway. When was the last time he played? 2001?

MG: And I think you guys are forgetting the fact that it only takes one team to draft him. I wouldn’t be surprised if a team with good veteran leadership like the Patriots or the Ravens took him sometime in the mid-to-late rounds. Case closed. No-Fail Prediction time.

MJ: Bubba Watson takes the Accenture Match Play crown for his second consecutive PGA Tour win.

WS: Good work, Mikey, I bet none of the three people who read this column will have any idea what you’re talking about. My prediction: Mikey won’t be asked to join “Out Allies” anytime soon.

MG: Mikey is one off-color remark away from getting J-Boarded.