Matt Glatt: There’s been pretty much one story blowing up all the sports media these past couple weeks.
Wiley Spears: The Jaguars’ first win of the season?
MG: Close. The Jonathan Martin story. I want to hear where you two stand on this crazy story.
Mikey Jarrell: Maybe you should give a quick recap for our listeners who have been living in a cave since October.
MG: OK, sure. Jonathan Martin, an offensive lineman on the Miami Dolphins, left the team due to what the organization referred to as a “non-football illness.” Reports came out of Martin’s camp—although not directly from Martin himself—that locker room bullying was the cause, and that guard Richie Incognito was at the center of the mess. Media outlets have gotten hold of a voicemail that Incognito left Martin in April, calling him the n-word and saying he’d “s--- in [his] f---ing mouth.” Martin reached his breaking point a few weeks ago when Incognito and the rest of the Miami offensive line immediately abandoned the cafeteria lunch table when Martin sat down to join them. Martin threw his tray on the ground, grabbed his car keys, and hasn’t been back to the facility since.
WS: Well, Mikey, if you know anything about Incognito or have seen the video of him shirtless and drunk, screaming at a bar, it should be pretty clear to you that this guy is totally out of control.
MJ: Maybe he is, but I’m not blaming him for Martin’s quitting.
WS: What?! Incognito is a maniac! He even admitted to being a “locker-room cancer.” The man is scum and has been his whole life.
MJ: That’s all fine and dandy, but there are plenty of guys like that in the NFL. Jonathan Martin is the first guy to quit on his team like this.
WS: First of all, some guy on Incognito’s Nebraska team in college quit for the very same reason, and second of all, professionals just don’t get bullied like this in their place of work every day.
MJ: Are you kidding me? Are you saying you can’t imagine a locker room environment where stuff like this is the norm?
WS: Where leaving a voicemail for your teammate saying you’d slap their mother is the norm? No, Mikey, I can’t quite imagine that.
MG: Don’t forget, guys, Martin wrote him a text right back saying “I will murder your whole f---ing family.”
MJ: I think the most telling part of this whole story is that the team has had Richie’s back this entire time.
WS: Yeah but the rest of the NFL has been totally trashing Incognito, claiming that this nonsense would never go on inside their locker rooms.
MJ: If he was such a bad guy, his teammates would have spoken out against him, especially now that he’s been suspended. Instead, they’ve been talking about how he’s one of the team’s leaders and the voice of the locker room, and how he and Martin are best buds.
WS: What are you trying to say? That Richie Incognito is a good person? Because that’s the dumbest thing you’ve said all day.
MJ: There has to be an anomaly here. Is it J-Mart or Richie? I’m saying it’s Martin. The guy obviously just doesn’t have the constitution to handle being an NFL player.
WS: You can’t absolve the bully. Ever.
MG: Here’s the thing. While you two always want to take opposite sides in these debates, the answer is usually somewhere in the middle. Richie Incognito is obviously not someone you’d bring home to your mother, but he’s probably not completely out-of-line for NFL locker rooms either. Jonathan Martin is not unjustified for leaving the team, but he didn’t need to bring this negative attention to his teammates in the middle of the season. The issue is really that the general culture of NFL locker rooms has gotten out of hand, to the point where something like this could happen. Damian Woodley called them “the most politically incorrect place in the world,” and that needs to change. Phew, that was exhausting. No-Fail Predictions time?
MJ: Alabama will reach the BSC Title Game, during which Brent Musburger will point out the attractiveness of AJ McCarron’s girlfriend on national TV for a third time.
WS: Richie Incognito will try to be a little more...INCOGNITO! Get it?
MG: This column will get me a job nowhere.