The wine had a picture of a truck on it, so we kept it in the car. Wines are best kept in cars. Freshly-chilled pinot noir in hand, we poured two glasses that resembled cranberry juice.
Fortunately, the drink was so cold that we couldn’t tell whether or not it was actually wine.
Pinot noirs, like most reds, are not meant to be drunk cold. When cold, a 2011 Red Truck pinor noir tastes like tannic cherry, with a lackluster body. After utilizing traditional warming techniques like clenching the bottle between our thighs and breathing on it very hard (not blowing, that would cool it), our Red Truck was turned on and ready to go.
Pinot noirs are an ancient grape varietal possibly dating back 2000 years, but as of late have become associated with France’s Burgundy region, where they reached their greatest prominence. The grapes—though relatively difficult to cultivate—are grown in most of the world’s wine-producing regions due to their popularity in their production of higher-quality wines.
When allowed to warm up, the pinot’s classic gustatory cherry and earth tones appeared stronger. The bouquet was weak, despite the bottle’s promise of “aromas of dark berries blending with spice.” The back of the bottle is less an accurate description of the wine and more an image of how people from Des Moines imagine Jack Johnson spends his days. He “travels throughout California selecting only the finest grapes,” kicking back with his ukulele to drink some “real wine that complements your easygoing lifestyle.”
The body, much like a correctly executed Bowdoin hello, is noticeable, but not forceful. It quickly fades from mouth and memory, unlike that kid from art history class who keeps nodding at you in Thorne. What was his name again? Kevin? Reggie? Kevin-Reggie notwithstanding, a pleasantly tannic finish stands up to the earthy overtones.
Overall, this wine was enjoyable but unimpressive. Its combination of sweet cherry and tannins counters its earthy nature well, leaving a pleasant aftertaste. Unfortunately, the bouquet and body give little support to the flavor and general character of the wine.
In our opinion, we were simply and definitively “whelmed.”
Additional Notes:
Dan: The Red Truck is the “Wonder Ball” of wines. It’s flavorful, but otherwise reticent.
Ryan: Wouldn’t buy it again, but I would drink it again.
Nose: 2/5
Body: 2/5
Mouthfeel: 2/5
Taste: 4/5
Pair with an easygoing lifestyle. $8.99 at Hannaford.