So BowdoinMatch has been out for over a week now and everyone's changed their answers a million times to see how many people they can get onto their lists, but I'm still hearing all over campus "Dude, I don't know any girls on my list!" or "He is on my list? But he's such a dork!" It turns out Bowdoin might not be as small as we all thought it was.
But I think it's interesting to note that in fact BowdoinMatch actually presents us with a really remarkable situation: that there might be people who you are in fact very compatible with who never would occur to you. You might swear to all of your friends that there is no way in hell that you are attracted to that really annoying girl on the top of your list, and as far as you know, you're probably right. But what if, on some level, BowdoinMatch is right too, and there are a lot of reasons why you and she might be compatible? What if it's just that at Bowdoin there are so many other factors that blind us that we can't even tell who is right for us and who isn't? WHAT IS THIS BOWDOIN BUBBLE?
Yes, the proverbial Bowdoin bubble is the source of much amusement and goodness knows it's the name of this column. But I think the bubble implies much more than the fact that we all know everything about the term papers we're writing and nothing about terrorist attacks in Syria. I think the Bowdoin bubble is an insular environment with distinct and unique characteristics-and by unique I don't mean that they don't occur in other similar small, liberal arts colleges, but that this little haven we have is not like the real world. While people still have friends outside of college, people are valued as individuals more than by their reputations and associations.
Josh explains, "There are probably, like, so many girls at this school who might be perfect for me and I'll never know because they'd never consider dating someone who lives at [the off-campus party house he lives at] or an athlete or whatever. And their names show up on my BowdoinMatch and I'm like 'who the hell is that?' Bowdoin just, like, skews our view of things."
Howard agrees: "I've spent fours years in the library here and I don't regret it. But I bet there are tons of girls out there who don't know me or, if they do, think I'm a dork. But who knows, maybe outside of Bowdoin we're perfect for each other?"
The academic and social pressures beneath the pines make it hard to tell if you are really compatible with someone or not. I've known couples that have gone out since freshman year and basically just go home drunk together and make small talk when they're sober. This works at Bowdoin but when they get out of here they realize they have completely different goals and ideals and don't make any sense together. I would like to make it clear that I'm not condemning such relationships because we are at Bowdoin for four years and everyone should spend those four years having the best time possible.
But it also has to be understood that this isolated haven is not what the rest of our lives are going to be like. Unless you move to Central Square, get a job in consulting and spend every night at Daisy Buchanan's. But that's only, like, what, 75 percent of the student body?
Carrie knows what I'm talking about: "I have dated Bowdoin guys outside of Bowdoin and the relationships have been great, but they would never have worked at Bowdoin for a variety of reasons. Sometimes you two are on totally different schedules, like if one person gets up early to get all of their work done and the other one procrastinates and pulls all-nighters all the time. Or what if your friends don't get along or if in the real world you both really enjoy going to good restaurants but at Bowdoin one of you just wouldn't make the effort. It's little things like that that make you realize how different Bowdoin is than real life."
I think, after seeing BowdoinMatch in action, that the best thing it can offer us is inspiration. If you see a name on your list that you've never seen before, or a person you would never have otherwise considered, you might want to think twice. You could have a far better relationship with them than the person you hooked up with last weekend. Outside of Bowdoin it doesn't matter if someone lives at an off-campus party house, spends all of their time in the library, drinks beer for breakfast, protests for abortion rights, plays lacrosse or does something really scandalous one night; after you graduate you'll care a lot more about whether or not you and a person really click on a deeper level and if you have the same morals or are going in the same direction. Of course you should go after what you want while you're here, but don't rule someone out because they might not be that just right now.