I had a revelation just yesterday: "Home Alone" is the best Christmas movie of all-time. Oh sure, you could put down the classics, "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34th Street," but honestly, is there really anything better than watching a young Macaulay Culkin frustrate the bejesus out of the incompetent, self-proclaimed Wet-Bandits?played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern?as the two idiots try futilely to circumvent the youngster's creative booby traps after he's been left (you guessed it) home alone by his family?
There are also the classic moments and lines, like when Culkin slaps on some aftershave while looking in the mirror and then immediately proceeds to scream in agony, or when he uses an old gangster film to get some free pizza from the delivery guy ("leave it on the door step and get the hell outta here"), and of course: "Buzz, your girlfriend? Woof." And who could forget the touching scene when Culkin peers out the window after his family has returned home, only to witness the South Bend Shovel Slayer ("Old Man" Marley for the "Home Alone" connoisseur) reuniting with his own family, waving happily at Culkin while hugging his daughter?
It is the perfect movie for the holidays, and had I owned it, I would have watched it at least five times by now. But I don't, so I was stuck watching ESPNEWS' coverage of Major League Baseball's Winter Meetings, where the overrated become overpaid, and the rich get even richer. And while I highly considered finishing off 2007 with a list of the top 10 Christmas movies, I reminded myself that this was a sports column, and that what went down on Tuesday night in Nashville was too important not to discuss.
Earlier this week, the Detroit Tigers and the Florida Marlins reached a preliminary agreement to complete the first blockbuster deal of the off-season, and quite possibly one of the biggest deals of all-time, which had all-star third baseman Miguel Cabrera and hard-throwing lefty Dontrelle Willis heading to Motown in exchange for six high-caliber prospects including 20-year old outfielder Cameron Maybin and pitcher Andrew Miller. The announcement of the deal's outline Tuesday not only drew attention away from the (still) on-going Johan Santana sweepstakes, but also sent a shockwave throughout the rest of the league.
In the beginning, it was thought that Cabrera might be dealt to the Yankees after Alex Rodriguez decided to opt out of his contract to become a free agent. When the Bombers dimwittedly went back on their word and agreed to a new 10-year (that's another decade of anxiety) contract worth slightly more than Warren Buffet's left big toe, the Cabrera rumors came to a sudden halt. Then the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of California near the Pacific Ocean via Route 710 of the United States of America were thought to be major players for Cabrera's services, but nothing happened after about two weeks.
Then came Tuesday evening, when most baseball fans were tuning into Sportscenter and incessantly refreshing the ESPN.com homepage to see if Santana had finally been dealt. Instead, it was Cabrera...and Willis...to the Tigers. Yeah, you know, the team that won the World Series in 2006?wait, they didn't? The Cardinals won that Series?!? Are you serious?!? How is that possible?!? Yeah, nobody knows. But it happened, and now it appears that Detroit?just a year after losing the title?is more than prepared to make another return to the Fall Classic.
I've already spoken to several buddies about this trade, and from what I gathered, it seemed like most of them don't really know who Miguel Cabrera is. "He's like the fattest guy in baseball, right?" "Oh wow, they got Dontrelle Willis, huh?" "Oh, he's the guy that won the World Series with 'em in 2003, right?"
While all of these remarks might be true, with perhaps the exception of the first (reports say that Cabrera has been slimming down as of late), Cabrera's extraordinary offensive prowess has appeared to go unnoticed. Since bursting into the league midway through the season as a 20-year old back in 2003, Cabrera has batted an average of .313, swatted 138 homers (no lower than 26 in a full season), knocked in an impressive 523 runs, and has been named to the all-star team four times in his first four full seasons?and he's still just 24 years old.
When the addition of Cabrera is finally complete, the Tigers will have easily the most potent lineup in baseball, and perhaps, the most dangerous in baseball history?I'm not even kidding. You're skeptical, I know. But not since the 2004 Boston Red Sox will there be a lineup with so few holes. That is to say, there are none; there are no holes.
The top of the lineup will consist of leadoff man Curtis Granderson?who last year became just the sixth player in baseball history to hit 20 triples, 20 homeruns, and steal 20 bases in one season?and newly-acquired shortstop Edgar Renteria. Three through six will then be some combination of Cabrera, designated hitter Gary Sheffield, rightfielder and AL MVP runner-up Magglio Ordoñez, and first baseman Carlos Guillen. And finally the "weakest" end of the line-up (if you can call it that) will consist of leftfielder Jacque Jones, catcher Pudge Rodriguez, and finally, second baseman Placido Polanco, who could possibly be the number nine hitter...and he hit .341 last year. In case the names didn't do it for you, here are the numbers: as a team, this lineup hit .309 last year'19 points higher than the Yankees (.290)?and should have absolutely no problem scoring runs next year, especially when you consider that the durable Brandon Inge will be coming off the bench (.236, 14, 71).
So do I have a problem with experts crowning the Tigers as the new best team in baseball? At first, I didn't. But now that I've done some more investigating, yes.
We all know that a great offense doesn't necessarily guarantee success, or better yet, a championship (2004-2007 New York Yankees, 2005 Boston Red Sox, 2001 Texas Rangers, etc.), and that it is pitching that will always separate the winners from the losers. If you're just looking at the name, Dontrelle Willis probably seems like a terrific acquisition for the Tigers. Then you take a look at his numbers from last season: 10-15 with 146 strikeouts and a career-worst 5.17 ERA. That's not all. The D-Train also clinched career-highs in homeruns surrendered (29), walks issued (87), and wild pitches (9), and went just 3-8 with a 5.74 ERA in the second-half of last year. And with a sudden jump to the American League coming directly after his worst season, it will be very interesting to see how Willis adjusts.
If you consider the remainder of the rotation, you have ace Justin Verlander who, other than Josh Beckett, might be the best righthander in baseball, and then four others (including Willis) who look pretty solid on paper. However, no offense to Michael Scott, but, it's just paper.
It will likely be Verlander at the top, followed by veteran lefty Kenny Rogers (3-4, 4.43), Willis, Jeremy Bonderman (11-9, 5.01), and then Nate Robertson (9-13, 4.76) finishing off a rotation that has much potential but that also left a lot to be desired last year. And when you consider the bullpen was ranked 11th in the AL last year, with the normally dependable Joel Zumaya and Todd Jones struggling with ERAs over four, the Tigers could be in trouble late in close games.
A great offense can get you through the regular season and into the playoffs, which is why Detroit will probably still win their division despite their average core of arms. They could feasibly come away with the best record and will undoubtedly have opposing pitchers everywhere shaking in their boots when they unleash their revamped lineup. And who knows, maybe Willis, Bonderman, and Zumaya will get it together and rediscover their dominance of the past. But if that doesn't happen?and it probably won't?the Tigers may find themselves ousted from the first round of the postseason in a quick four-game series (with Verlander winning Game One of course), and spend the entire offseason wondering why they hadn't made a pitch for Johan Santana.
So, to call them the best team in the league already? A little too premature for my liking. When the Yankees traded for A-Rod in 2004, I did the same thing experts nationwide are doing now?labeled a team before they'd even taken the field?and look what happened: a 3-0 lead was utterly squandered away. The real No. 1 team? The Boston Red Sox, obviously. And should they somehow end up with Santana, then it's all but over, and pitching will beat hitting once more, just like it has done a million times before. That and the Yankees will probably miss the playoffs.