Keep your inner child happy with Blackberry

Beer Fever with Weaver: Everyone's favorite distraction

The Top Five Alcohol-Induced Procrastination Techniques. I think I'm going to stop trying to comment on the weather for a while. It has become pretty clear that Maine is going to take its sweet time arriving at spring, and that time is not today, nor is it likely to be tomorrow. Regardless of how it feels outside, however, the fact remains that this school year is coming to a hasty conclusion. As the days tick off the calendar faster than a snowstorm can drop six inches, the art of procrastination will inevitably become more prevalent in our everyday lives. While many people frown upon such idle dawdling, I think procrastination is merely our body's way of telling us that it's not quite ready to get the job done. So I say listen to your body, grab a Natty Lite, and indulge yourself in The Top Five Alcohol-Induced Procrastination Techniques of "Spring" 2007.

Beer Fever with Weaver: A quick visit to the BootLegger

BootLeggers Beverage Warehouse. It often amazes me that in Boston you can't buy booze in gas stations. But here in Maine you're far more likely to head to your local 7-Eleven for a fill-up on Natty Light than for gas. Just the other week, coming back from an interview in Beantown, I pulled off to a Mobil to fill up on Bull Ice and was appalled when the sales clerk told me I should settle for a pomegranate seltzer water instead. Not in Maine. Here, kegs are delivered right to your doorstep and finding an aestival respite from the heat is as easy as locating the nearest neighborhood hard lemonade stand (50 cents!). Booze in Maine is sold like knock-off Louis Vuitton bags in Chinatown: It's not a question of where to find it, but rather where to find it cheapest. Welcome to Maine: The way life should be, baby.

Beer Fever with Weaver

Keep your inner child happy with Blackberry

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

Alex Weaver

Columnist

April 20, 2007

Long Trail Blackberry Wheat?$7.95 for a six-pack at Uncle Tom's Market

When I was little (by little, I mean before I graduated from high school), I approached each night's family meal like a general going into battle. As my mom prepared the meal, I would slink around the kitchen, scouting out what villainous vegetable dish was destined to make my otherwise glorious meal miserable. After I was done with the good stuff, I spread the remaining vegetable medley across my plate as thin as a pancake, in hopes that my mom would not notice and instead think that there had been a new, rainbow-colored plate added to her collection.

It never worked. Instead I spent the duration of my childhood, like most of you, resentfully choking down damned cauliflower and asparagus. So, I developed a keen fondness for fruit, both because it was the healthy alternative to those greens I so utterly hated and because it happened to be the key ingredient to one of my favorite desserts: Mom's homemade apple pie. Thus, as my highly developed palate has grown to include the much-refined world of barley and hops, I can't help but give fruity beer a chance. Call it spite, but I'm glad that Sun-Dried Tomato Lager never caught on, and instead we can enjoy tasty treats like Long Trail Blackberry Wheat.

I know what you're all thinking: Beer Fever has gone soft. Let me assure you, I am still as much of a man as I ever was. Why, just this morning, after showering in the rain and shaving with a butter knife, I set the new (albeit only) Orangina chugging record at Express Lunch. That's right; I'm the man. But even a guy's guy can enjoy a good fruit cup once in a while (just peek inside Ted's Powerpuff Girls lunchbox for proof). While I'd still rather give a free six-pack of blueberry beer to my sister rather than drink it myself, I think the gender gap of fruity beer has become a little smaller these days. So guys, put your pride aside and belly up to a Long Trail Blackberry Wheat.

When you chew a piece of Bubblicious, you want to feel like you're biting into that juicy summer watermelon. The same can be said for that Snapple or bag of beef jerky (just keep telling yourself that's teriyaki). But fruity beers are not bubblegum, and they shouldn't try and act like it. This, I think, is the downfall of most fruit-flavored beers. When I have a glass of blueberry ale, I don't want to feel like I just shotgunned a crate of blueberries. One Cherry Wheat ale is fine now and then, but any more than that and I wish I'd just sprung for the martini. But Blackberry Wheat is different. The acuteness of the aroma combined with the subtlety of the flavor and light body make it a great ale for any outing?whether in your living room, at dinner, or down at the local watering hole.

One more note: the alcohol by volume (ABV) of Blackberry Wheat is one of the lowest I've seen in a while, at an even 4.0. While this would normally be grounds for a thorough verbal shellacking, I think this actually adds to the attractiveness of this beer. Since any ABV under five means it doesn't qualify as an alcoholic beverage, you are safe to substitute one to two Blackberry Wheats for any meal's fruit serving of your choosing. My personal favorite is scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and a 12-ounce serving of Vermont Blackberries: breakfast of champions, baby.

It's 2007 now folks, and the gender divide of alcohol consumption is steadily breaking down. Women across the country are dropping the wine coolers and flocking to full-bodied beers, men are turning to more flavorful brews between beer-can crushing contests, and Ted?well, Ted is still ordering White Zinfandel by the case. But the one thing that we can all agree on is great taste, no matter what form it takes. So before you instinctively gravitate toward the King of Beers, why not give your taste buds a break, embrace your inner child, and bite into a nice juicy blackberry? After all, you're going to need something to wash those vegetables down.

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