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Beer Fever with Weaver: Reliable beers in unstable weather

J.W. Dundee's Amber Lager and Honey Brown Lager?$4.99 each at Hannaford Growing up in Maine, I have become accustomed to weather that often proves more mercurial than a two-year-old left at home with the babysitter. One second he's humming "Yankee Doodle Dandy," and the next he's screaming bloody murder. So it is, we have seen, with the weather, as we have all just experienced the first Bowdoin College snow day since Woodstock?and the first in April since that Safe Ride down to 'Shua's was pulled by a team of horses.

Beer Fever with Weaver: Keep your inner child happy with Blackberry

Long Trail Blackberry Wheat?$7.95 for a six-pack at Uncle Tom's Market When I was little (by little, I mean before I graduated from high school), I approached each night's family meal like a general going into battle. As my mom prepared the meal, I would slink around the kitchen, scouting out what villainous vegetable dish was destined to make my otherwise glorious meal miserable. After I was done with the good stuff, I spread the remaining vegetable medley across my plate as thin as a pancake, in hopes that my mom would not notice and instead think that there had been a new, rainbow-colored plate added to her collection.

Beer Fever with Weaver

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

Alex Weaver

Columnist

April 13, 2007

The Top Five Alcohol-Induced Procrastination Techniques

I think I'm going to stop trying to comment on the weather for a while. It has become pretty clear that Maine is going to take its sweet time arriving at spring, and that time is not today, nor is it likely to be tomorrow. Regardless of how it feels outside, however, the fact remains that this school year is coming to a hasty conclusion. As the days tick off the calendar faster than a snowstorm can drop six inches, the art of procrastination will inevitably become more prevalent in our everyday lives. While many people frown upon such idle dawdling, I think procrastination is merely our body's way of telling us that it's not quite ready to get the job done. So I say listen to your body, grab a Natty Lite, and indulge yourself in The Top Five Alcohol-Induced Procrastination Techniques of "Spring" 2007.

1. The Leftover Beer Taste Test Challenge. This one is great when you and your roommates are all sitting in the living room, TV on, pretending to be doing work while really wondering what those crazy "Jackass" guys will do next. Instead of succumbing to MTV, turn off the tube and play a friendly round of this beloved not-so-drinking game. Set up a table, get out the blindfold, and test each other on who can identify the most consecutive cheap beers. Think this sounds pointless? Think again. U.S. News & World Report just published a study that proves closing your eyes for 10 or more minutes makes subsequent reading three times more efficient. And Beer Fever with Weaver just published a study that says everything?especially schoolwork?becomes more efficient after a cheap beer variety pack.

2. The Word Recognition Game. You've all done it. Sit down with your buddies to watch the State of the Union Address, and all of a sudden everyone's taking a sip every time Bush utters the words "war on terror." Or, my personal favorite, putting on "Roxanne" and taking a gulp every time Sting utters that gorgeous name (which, if you've heard the song, comes like machine gun fire for the last two minutes or so). But what about when you're pushing through that dense article or lab report? Reading up on photosynthesis? Try every time you hit the word "chlorophyll." Struggling through some Kant? How about "theory?" Or what about that romantic novel for "class?" Ted tried this technique to fight through the tears by sipping his wine cooler every time he read the word "love." Not pretty. Just remember a rule my roommates and I have embraced all year: You're not drinking until you've hit four?so keep it responsible, will you?

3. Commit to throwing a party on a Friday night. If you're dreading a pile of work that is going to ruin your weekend, why not force yourself to ignore it for another day by registering a party, sending out all the invites, and ordering your keg on Monday morning? This way, come Friday when you really should be getting that work done, you'll know that you really should be getting ready for that pre-party check up by security even more.

4. When struggling to do work in your room, discreetly set up a game of Beirut and go back to work. Chances are that your roomies are struggling just as much as you are, and if they see six cups lovingly adorned in that familiar triangle (or 10 cups, if things are going that badly), they will no doubt oblige and agree to one "casual" game to take their minds off things for a bit. Ideally, this will lead to all work being abandoned and a spontaneous Wednesday night get-together. But, if not, at least you can get in about 100 half-ounce bicep curls before getting back to the books.

5. The last technique is one for only the direst of times in the library. If work is just not happening when it needs to be happening most, tell your friends who are working diligently beside you that you hid a $5 dollar bill somewhere on the fourth floor of the stacks and you'll buy the first person who finds it drinks for a night at the bar. You, of course, did not do anything of the sort, nor will this help you get any work accomplished, but as you crack the Natty Lite always stashed in the side pocket of your North Face backpack for such occasions, at least you will know that no one else is getting anything done either. I'm pretty sure this will only work once, so use this one wisely.

Your work will always get done, no matter how impossible it may seem. So, I say, if your mind refuses to stay focused on the task at hand, don't force it. As you have seen, there are plenty of ways to take a well-deserved study break. Besides, staying hydrated is essential to staying focused.

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