A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about college students' dependence on laptop computers?the obstacles they represent, the activities we need them for, the solace we find in them, etc. Without debate, we need our laptops to function as students and as social beings; Bowdoin has developed many services that are conveniently accessible on our computers. But kind of like an alcoholic having an uncorked bottle of champagne sprayed down his gullet at a wedding, some of these "conveniences" just feel like extravagances that unnecessarily feed the flames of our addiction.
I had to resist the urge to knock back a capful of Tide out of exasperation when I saw that the price of laundry had risen by 25 cents. Somehow, someone in the upper echelons had found out my revoltingly scanty laundry habits and decided to milk me for all I had in the bi-semesterly event that I feel the need to do a couple of loads. But, once again, the Encyclopedia Orienta clarified that these funds were being put toward LaundryView, an online laundry monitoring system to which Bowdoin students now have access. Students can now check online the status of their laundry, and receive e-mail alerts when a load is finished.
Temporarily spitting the Tide out of my mouth, I decided to check out this newfangled operation. Admittedly, I initially ooh-ed and ahh-ed at what I saw; not only does the Web site graphically depict your laundry room, but you can actually rotate the image with your mouse. In case, you know, you want to make sure there's no lollygagging going on behind or beneath your drying towels. Also, there is a tracker to measure the gallons of water conserved by using the high-quality washers that Bowdoin does. But the fun doesn't end there: There are helpful washing tips for those far away from Mom, such as "to remove protein stains, soak in cold water and then launder." For when the Honolulu Tofu just can't seem to keep from having a luau on your pants.
The point of all this, however, is that once I pulled myself away from the spinning laundry rooms and the Stain Removal Index (that wasn't a joke, there are 71 different types of stains, including airplane glue, but that's another story), I realized what was at the root of my detergent-swallowing urge. This was no longer about my cheapskate disgust at the extra 25 cents, but about the principle behind this idea that we feel we don't have the ability to monitor our own clothing. LaundryView states on its homepage that it "was developed in response to requests for greater control over laundry activities." As though we were concerned that the Phantom of the Laundry Room would sneak off with our sheets without our being able to immediately detect and eliminate him. Personally, if I had full control of my "laundry activities," I would not be paying 25 cents extra to not stink.
LaundryView.com also recounts a heart-warming tale about the establishment of the Mac-Gray Corporation, which developed and maintains LaundryView. The corporation was founded in 1927, when H.S. Gray sold Maytag wringer washers door-to-door on foot, thus spearheading the operation. To which I ask, wouldn't the very ambulatory Mr. Gray be a touch appalled at our inability to get up from our computers, trod downstairs, and physically observe the washing machines? Methinks there is a shade of irony in that story.
To be fair, I own both a watch and a clock, exempting me from actually having a pressing need for the services offered by LaundryView, a fact which could perhaps skew AnnieView. It's entirely possible that this is a brilliant concept that has saved hours of walking up and down stairs to check loads, or glancing at watches to see how much time is left on the machines. Laundry no longer has to sit idly waiting for its forgetful owner to retrieve it. Now, I can immediately fly downstairs to a pile of still-steaming dry laundry that I can satisfyingly bury my face in. But my guess is that my clothes will probably be close to rotting by the time I finish checking every angle of the dryer and figuring out the best way to remove an eggnog stain.
In the meantime, I, along with everyone else, will learn to adjust to this new laundry system; somehow, I will learn to stomach LaundryView and the additional quarter attached to it. But I might need some Tide to wash it down with.