Stay classy at the open bar

Beer Fever with Weaver: Settling the age-old Natty debate: Lite vs. Ice

Natural light & Natural Ice—$75.00 each per keg I think one of most tragic tendencies of college students nationwide is the degree to which we take for granted the early weeks of each semester. With Winter Break now safely behind us, the freshmen have had sufficient time to catch up with the rest of us in realizing just how miserable midterms and finals can be. But with this newfound knowledge comes newfound responsibility. Now, if you think I'm stressing the importance of hard work now to soften the impending scholarly blows later, you are wholly missing the point and I think it would be better for both of us if you saved copies of this paper for those who deserve it and brushed up on your inorganic chemistry.

Beer Fever with Weaver: Cerveza Fever con Weaver

Negra Modelo?$9.15 for a six-pack at Uncle Tom's Market Two weeks ago, I stressed the importance of putting the reconnection with friends high on the list of things to do upon returning from Winter Break. Now that the hollow "so how was your break" questions have all been asked, the icy kegs tapped, and the preliminary open bars (classily) attended, what stands chief atop the priority hill now? Why, Spring Break, of course!

Beer Fever with Weaver

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

February 2, 2007

Upon returning from a semester in Athens, Greece, I was confronted with a phenomenon that I wasn't quite ready for. Being old for my grade, turning 21 was nothing new to me. But fall 2005 was when a number of friends arrived at this milestone. To ring in this joyous occasion, said friends decided that an open bar would be the way to celebrate.

The open bar was new to me at the time, but I've since attended my fair share. After witnessing blatant violations of social drinking code, I feel obligated to use my voice for the common good. For those of you who have attended such an event, you may have questions that need answering. For those of you who have not or cannot remember the finer points, read on?this is for you. Thus, I present to you the rules of open bar etiquette. May you use them wisely.

1. Throw on a collared shirt. I speak to the fellas here for a reason. An open bar implies a social event to the female gender. An "event" for ladies correlates to sharper dress. For us guys, anything with Solo cups, quarters, shot glasses, or a pair of dice (all 4? Bravo!), denotes a social event. Feel free to rock cargo shorts and Timberlands when there's a long table and classic rock. But for an open bar, better err on the side of sophistication. You can don a tie and throw dice, but ratty flannel? Just not nice.

2. Don't show up with an empty wallet. Even if the open bar sponsor factored in tips, it won't kill you to throw down that dollar bill when ordering seven kamikazes, three J?ger-bombs, and a pitcher of Bud Light. Prove that you didn't borrow that polo shirt from your roommate and reward the bartender for serving a flock of drunk college kids.

3. Rule 3 is crucial: Don't pre-game the open bar, at the bar. Being facedown in the bar nuts with both palms raised in needy expectation when the guests arrive isn't "extreme"?it's pathetic. Under no circumstances should you arrive at the open bar before the host's parents get there to set up. Period.

4. It isn't the best idea to pre-game the open bar at all. I know what you're thinking?believe me, I like to prime the pumps before the big show as much as the next guy. But when attending an open bar, I like to follow what I call The Rule of 9: "Beer before 9, It's just not time; 9 before beer? You're in the clear" (you heard it here first). If the event kicks off around 9, you're probably better off organizing a Jenga tournament to see who showers first. If the event isn't until 10 or later, feel free to oil the joints a little, which leads me to rule 5...

5. If you fear attending social events without a drink or two, you are a) an alcoholic, b) a college student, or c) is there a difference? Whatever the case, if the event kicks off late enough, feel free to enjoy a couple casuals before heading out (Natty Lite anyone?). Just keep it classy?an open bar is not an opportunity to drive the final nail into your drunken stupor. Try a classy beer you haven't had before, not every shot on the menu. Avoid drinks that warn you in the title, such as: Abe's Tropical Night in Hell, Fiery Balls of Death, Urine Sample, and my personal favorite, Dead Dog Vomit.

6. Don't show up with a PBR in each pocket. Let's be an adult for a night and drink beer out of a real glass, shall we?

7. Don't hoard drinks. Distributing the five beers you ordered to your buddies is one thing; walking around with three rum and cokes?simultaneously drinking from each?well, that's just selfish. If the line is unbearable, ask a friend to tack your request onto their order rather than double-fisting all night or?God forbid?stashing a stockade behind the "Big Buck Hunter" machine. Booze may be free here, people, but your reputation is something to earn. When meeting the host's parents, it's better to switch a drink out of your right hand than being forced to put one down.

8. In a sea of things not to do, my last rule is something that I endorse no matter the occasion: DO start a dance party. If there's one thing I learned in my four years, it's that a dance party makes any event more fun and more memorable. So offer someone a drink from your stash, free one of your hands, and hit the dance floor. Just remember, if you spill, you can clean up the mess with your roommate's polo shirt.

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