This weekend we remember a tense chapter in our world history. A conflict so icy it would have prompted Randy to send out a winter advisory warning. We are referring, of course, to the Cold War. The fierce chess match between two global powers had the people of the world on the edge of their seats as they waited to see who would make the first move. Tomorrow, the eyes of the Bowdoin student body will be fixed upon a similar rivalry, one between the Soviets of MacMillan House and the patriotic Americans of Quinby House.

To honor this historic event, we ourselves are pitting two international powers against each other in a battle of brews. Let’s bring out the contenders.

In Uncle Sam’s corner, weighing in at five percent alcohol by volume, we have the one, the only, Budweiser: proudly brewed in the U.S. since 1876 and owned by Anheuser-Busch. For the past 140 years, the King of Beers has been a staple at every American barbeque, an annual fixture of Super Bowl commercial and the go-to of every panicked teenager who tries to purchase a late-night six-pack from a gas station Kwik Shop.

Standing in the (former) Soviet corner, also weighing in at five percent ABV, we have Czechvar. This Czech beer has been brewed since 1785—a full 91 years prior to Anheuser-Busch’s American classic—in the city of České Budĕjovice, Czech Republic (which was under Soviet control from 1946-1989 as part of Czechoslovakia). České Budĕjovice, or Budweis as it is known in German, first exported this beer to the United States in 1871, inspiring Anheuser-Busch’s Budweiser five years later.

Budweiser is a staple of American beer drinkers. Advertised for the past few years as the King of Beers, it brags to be a lager that is to the point, plainspoken and “not brewed to be fussed over.” Budweiser is “for drinking, not dissecting.” Clearly we are meant to be impressed with this gruff rhetoric. We therefore approached our Budweiser ready to grunt and spit, but, surprisingly, we found the bottles to be twist-offs. Our patriotic sentiments dampened slightly. This convenient corporate decision seemed to go against the very nature and spirit of this iconic beer. But then again, free trade and capitalism are pretty convenient.

As we dove into our Buds, we found the taste to be smoother than we had remembered. As a lager that brags of supreme drinkability, we had to admit they were onto something. The malt, rice and barley were mixed in a perfect balance, much like the balance of powers created by our glorious Constitution. No single aspect of this triumvirate of ingredients outshined the others. George Washington would have been proud.

When you first see the Czechvar, your eyes jump to the flashy golden foil covering the cap and bottleneck. This ostentatious touch, much like communism, promises the everyday consumer their share of the Soviet wealth. This foil turned out to be a pain in the ass, also much like communism.

The Czechvar had a different taste. It proved to be a touch sweeter, but with metallic hints and stronger taste of grains (perhaps influenced by the hammer and the sickle?). With very few notes of hops, the majority of the taste sprung from the sweetness of the malts used to brew this lager—we hear they are quite accomplished at refining sugar (and uranium?) over there.
After a few rounds of the bout and feeling a little punch-drunk, we both concurred that we should drink more Budweiser. The Czechvar helped us to pay homage to Budweiser’s roots, but as is the case with ice hockey, human rights and appropriately dressed leaders, a classic lager looks a little better in stars and stripes.