Dearest followers. Welcome to our final column. Of all time. At least with us. And we’re really the only wine connoisseurs that matter. This week, to celebrate our immensely successful year of writing what we can only assume is the Orient’s most widely read column, we decided to review a “premium” wine.
By “premium,” we mean the premium packaging that Xo, G comes in. It is made up of separate, durable plastic glasses in one convenient pop-apart tower, wrapped in artistically designed plastic. While it may not be very eco-friendly, it is definitely fun and an incredibly unique way to market wine.
We are somewhat concerned that the packaging may encourage drinking while driving, as it notes that this wine is “Perfect for the girl on the go” and fits in a standard cup holder.
Out of the available options, we decided to go with the rosé since we barely dipped into this category during our tenure with the Orient. The wine has a beautiful silvery-pink color and catches the eye.
The initial odor that escaped the plastic container almost made us gag. It is akin to some sort of wine-scented compost. After it had time to breathe—if you could call it that—one visiting commenter said that it smelled like trash juice. Brandon thought it was pleasing and earthy, while another visitor said it became offensive over time.
The wine is surprisingly acidic and is not as sweet as one may guess based on its pink color and fancy packaging. It is fairly tasteless overall, but it has quite a strong aftertaste of alcohol and earth. According to Brandon, this aftertaste is what you would expect your mouth to taste like when you vomit this wine up later. This is despite the wrapping saying it has notes of berries. This is certainly no white zin.
At the same time, it is surprisingly drinkable and when judged in the context of its wine-to-go platform, it is maybe not all too bad. We honestly think you could do better, but if you are looking for a middling quality taste with cool packaging this may be for you.
With a high 12.6 percent alcohol by volume, you can really feel this wine burn through you. The Xo, G has a pretty flat and boring mouthfeel that could be called silky if we were feeling generous.
So with that, we bid farewell to this column and to you, our faithful readers. We are certainly not bidding goodbye to the wine though. Over the year we’ve gained a new appreciation for wine, and we’ve learned a lot. Our most important lesson, that we hope we’ve passed on to you, is that you don’t have to splurge to keep your next dinner, party, outdoor picnic, or stress-induced sobbing session classy. You can certainly find some great wine for under $10, and we hope this column has inspired you to add more wine to your life.
As always,
XO, B + B
Nose: 1.5
Body: 2.5
Mouthfeel: 2.5
Taste: 2.5
Final, final thoughts:
Brandon: What a year, what a column, what a beginning to my lifelong wine-based alcoholism. But in all seriousness, though I am continuously shocked that we have somehow managed to gain a readership, it has been great hearing all of your suggestions and compliments.
Bryce: Wine column Tuesdays have become the highlight of the early part of my week. Thank you to all those who have voiced their support and excitedly told me they took our advice. It’s fun to see we actually have a readership and that there are people who believe what we say.