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Who wants me?: Introducing bachelorette number one

November 3, 2022

Kyra Tan

The weather is getting cold again, and you know what that means. It’s officially the season of desperately wishing that special someone were there to take photos of the leaves falling cinematically around you and your one true love: the pumpkin-spice latte. Ah, young love.

Honestly, I can’t vouch for whether our bachelorette this week (she/her, class of ’23) can be that person for you, but it’s worth a try. She’s interested in meeting people of any and all pronouns.

The following interview has been edited for length and clarity. 

Feero: What part of your day would you be sad to miss and why?

Bachelorette: Oh my gosh, I would be so sad if I missed the afternoon—2, 3, 4 p.m.. I know I’m taking that literally, but, point one: it’s prime nap time, perfect for an hour-long nap, plus the ten minutes it takes to fall asleep—absolutely amazing. Point two: especially if it’s nice and warm out, it’s prime time for any and all hobbies–hanging outside, sitting on a hammock, chilling with friends. And it’s also wind-down time after classes, so if I missed that, I would be so upset. If I blinked and suddenly it was 9 p.m., I’d be like, ‘This is sick and twisted.’

Q:  Since you mentioned napping: do you sleep with a top sheet? You’d be surprised what this reveals about a person, trust me.

A: I sleep with a top sheet, with a duvet, with another blanket on top of the duvet because I get so cold. I’m lucky to have a full bed this year, so I’ve also got four pillows and a mushroom stuffed animal to keep me warm.

Q: What would you say is the greatest or best decision you’ve ever made?

A: *groans* Okay, well, this is going to sound so athlete of me, which I’m not. No hate to athletes or anything, that’s just not me. But probably doing cross country when I was younger and then just continuing running in my life. I can’t explain it, but I think it’s been so good for my health, and without it I wouldn’t have had the community structures that I needed throughout high school and life. And on another level, just going out in nature is like ‘ooh fresh air.’ I’m very much not a hiker—bugs freak me out. But if I’m running faster than the bugs, then they can’t get me; I am the speed of wind.

Q: Do you wish you had a bigger family? Why or why not?

A: Oh no. Definitely no. I’ve got one of those families that’s got 21 cousins—literally I think there’s 21 of them. I don’t have a ton of siblings, but in terms of extended family, I’ve got all those cousins, I’ve got six grandparents. It is SO much. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice and we play dorky board games and have fun family reunions. But if there were more of us, it would be more of a township than anything else.

Q: Where is the weirdest place you’ve ever fallen asleep?

A: Oh boy. This is going to be the most out-of-pocket thing ever. When I was younger, like nine, I genuinely believed I was a werewolf, so I would sleep in a dog bed.

Q: Like in your own home habitually or just kind of out and about?

A: Yeah, in my house. We had a lab, and I stole the dog bed to sleep in. I think I thought that if I slept in the dog bed I would shift into a werewolf at night. Yeah, I was a weird kid.

I’m not going to suggest that you and our lovely bachelorette try to share a dog bed because that just feels wrong. But I do suggest that you get to know her better! Who knows, maybe she’ll even introduce you to all 21 of her cousins. Lucky you!

Reach out to me at mfeero@bowdoin.edu with your intentions, and I’ll pass your ardent love and affections on to our bachelorette. If she reciprocates them, then you have the chance to go on the date of a lifetime (preferably without the dog bed, but you do you).


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