Zinfully good: this bargain rosé has impressive taste

Bottom of the Barrel: Post-Ivies whine: the nectar of Nantucket

Ah, Nantucket. Take a deep breath and smell that salty sea air. The land of decadence and high society, an island of 20th century Gatsbys frolicking in the summer sun. Yachts, seabreeze, seagulls: the American dream. With a nod to CBS’s The Jeffersons: “We’re moving on up…To a deluxe apartment in the sky [over Nantucket].”
And what do they do in Nantucket, these captains of high society, fame, and fortune? They sail across the whitecaps in their yachts, wearing only pale red shorts and sipping the local vintage. We recreated the atmosphere by washing our underwear with red sweatshirts, taking to the sea in Ryan’s newly purchased kayak. The only thing left was the wine. The nectar of Nantucket, if you will.
Nantucket Nectars Grapeade wine was dateless; its label gave no hint of its age or origin. The wealthy residents of Nantucket drink nothing but the best. This ambrosia of aristocracy is above such sycophantic labels as age or alcohol by volume. If we were to mingle with our peers successfully, we needed to figure this wine out on our own.
The avant-garde bottle surprised us with a Snapple like pop-cap (no time for wine openers when you’re yachting). Nevertheless, we managed to open the bottle. The exterior of the beverage’s vessel is emblazoned with a clump of what could only be Nantucket grapes. Massive orbs of crimson and violet rest in quiet repose on the grass. Nantucket is a small island nation off the coast of Mass-o-chumpchump. It remains populated with the wealthy and wonderful and isolated from the plebes of the mainland. Nantucket is governed by what can only be described as a “totalitarian theocracy.” A man known only as Murray controls access to his trademark red vintage with an iron fist. Fortunately, this local wine is sold in Maine.
Grapeade shines translucently, a pale orange-red that shows little sediment. Its nose is filled with sweet, sugary grape notes, without a hint of bitterness or earth tones. Forward, fresh and dangerous. This Nantucket wine suited us perfectly.
Due to Murray’s legal system, ABV is not required to be printed. We thus have no idea how much alcohol was in our Grapeade, and we extend our compliments to the vintner on his ability to hide its flavor. The skill with which this wine was made is apparent. We noticed almost no alcohol as we drank this “ade” (an old oenological word used in Nantucket to characterize their wines).
Nectars should be drunk young and chilled, preferably on a yacht. However, the imprint on the bottom of our bottle told us that our Grapeade would be drinkable until February of 2022.
Without any trace of alcohol, the sweet nature of this wine shone through. It starts with a splash of grape on the tongue, fading to the pleasant refreshment of Nantucket spring water. A sort of granular sugar dominates the middle, leaving a nice, sugary grit on your teeth, before dropping out to leave an artificial taste of sour fruit.
You know that moment when you pee, look down, see that it’s red and say, “Maybe I should see a doctor. Oh well, it’s Ivies?” People in Nantucket do that every day. They drink Nantucket Nectars Grapeade, whether they like it or not. It is the only beverage allowed to be drunk on the Island. Be like them, drink like them. Persevere. It might seem like a long, dark road, but do you know what will be on the other side? Us, on a beach, sipping Nantucket Nectars Grapeade.
Additional Notes:
Dan: More like nom-tucket. Drink it for taste, drink it for power and prestige, drink it for Nantucket.Ryan: That was Nan-titillating.
Nose: Doesn’t matterBody: Doesn’t matterTaste: Yee-haw Nantucket
$1.89 at Bowdoin Express.

Bottom of the Barrel: Slip into the ambiance of this Cali Riesling

Going into the end of the semester is a trying ordeal for any stressed college student. We wholeheartedly endorse using wine as a medicinal coping mechanism for when you can no longer deal with reality. Brandon is a psych major, so you know our advice is legit.*
Deciding to kick the class up a notch this week, we chose Spotify’s “Coffee Table Jazz” to play as we expertly sampled our wine, a California Riesling appropriately labeled “Belle Ambiance.” Our spit cups nowhere to be found we decided to drink the whole bottle like we usually do. Keep the music classy, but true wine connoisseurs need to be able to taste the entire bottle.
As Brandon popped the cork we noticed that our “Belle Ambiance” Riesling fit the environment quite well. With a delightful glugging akin to a cherub’s laugh, the glasses were filled and the bottle was suddenly half empty.
A very light nose greeted us with floral notes, not very strong overall, but quite pleasing. Also, who really cares what it smells like as long as it tastes good, right? The color of the wine is a white gold, and the body is relatively light.
Rieslings are known to be quite sweet and low in alcohol content. This wine delivered on only one of those qualities.
Typically German, our California Reisling was sweet, but not cloying. With an American twist, however, our wine was at a comfortable 12 percent alcohol by volume, resting on the higher end of the scale for this type of wine. Have we found a wine that gives us the best of both worlds?
The wine is refreshingly sweet at first, yet finishes well with a light acidity. Easy enough to sip on its own, we didn’t feel the need to pair it with anything but more wine.
The aftertaste is lovely and lends itself to making this a casual sipping wine. It also makes you want to drink more. This wine is the ultimate stress reliever. We highly suggest pairing it with some smooth jazz, even if you aren’t a fan, and then just let yourself feel the stress melt away. If you wish to go into a happiness coma grab two bottles, turn on the music, and throw on the Parent Trap (Lohan version, obviously).
Remember: you’re going to be okay, if you let the Belle Ambiance take you away.
Additional Notes:
Brandon: I can imagine putting on a record, curling up in front of the fire with my (as of yet, nonexistent) significant other and escaping into the Belle Ambiance.
Bryce: I am actually at such a relaxed state right now that I could find Nicolas Cage repairing the Coles Tower elevator and I wouldn’t even be fazed. Nose: 3.5Mouthfeel: 4Body: 3.5 Taste: 4.5 As per the good doctor’s orders go grab your weekly bottle and de-stress. $9.99 at Target. *Disclaimer: Brandon is not an actual doctor of psychology.

Bottom of the Barrel

Zinfully good: this bargain rosé has impressive taste

This piece represents the opinion of the authors:

October 31, 2014

This week we decided to step out of our comfort zone and try out a White Zinfandel. While Brandon is not particularly fond of rosés, we felt it was only fair to add variety. While perusing our favorite wine section at Hannaford’s, we settled upon a Sutter Home White Zinfandel.

White Zinfandels come from Zinfandel grapes, but are processed differently to create a semi-sweet rosé instead of a heartier red wine. Our particular wine was actually created by mistake on the part of Sutter Home Winery. The accidental creation of this sweet pink wine proved to be incredibly valuable—White Zinfandels are now the third most popular type of wine in the U.S.

When Bryce first smelled the wine he initially noticed vanilla, but it matured into lighter floral and berry notes with undertones of melon. Overall, not the most exciting nose to date.

Let’s just say that this wine is easy to drink. It is sweet—akin to a Riesling—but far from a true dessert wine. Our White Zin is delicious on its own, by the glass or bottle, but could pair with anything you have on hand in your dorm for snacks, such as Wheat Thins or White Cheddar Cheez-Its. But honestly, snacking just takes time away from drinking.

The taste of the wine itself is like creamy strawberries with a slight nuance of watermelon. This wine has the unique ability to be sipped or—in Brandon’s case—guzzled. Like a good lover, this wine has a gentle and smooth mouthfeel that makes you want to keep drinking more. The body was a little thin for Brandon’s taste, but Bryce preferred its lightness and found the wine to be more delicate than thin.

You may have noticed this column is less snarky than usual. This is probably due to the fact that we loved this wine so much, we could not think of any disparaging comments about it. For those of you who know us, please try to contain your shock at this revelation that we have found something that truly pleases us both. This poses a difficulty in terms of any criticism, but we believe that what has occurred here this evening can only be labeled an epiphany. What had we been doing with our lives before we discovered this wine?

We had been lost on a path strewn with Barefoot Pinot Noir and Franzia Crisp White, but tonight we have found the one true wine and it is Sutter Home White Zinfandel.
If you are partial to Franzia’s Sunset Blush, set down that filthy bag and grab a bottle of this wine. We promise you won’t be disappointed.

Additional Notes
Brandon: “This wine is definitely a keeper. I can see myself in 20 years coming home from a long day of therapy to a screaming child and perpetually disappointed husband, sneaking into my kitchen, popping off the cork to a Sutter Home White Zin and enjoying a well deserved glass of ‘juice’.”
Bryce: “Why this wine isn’t in Capri Sun-like packaging is beyond me.”

Nose: 3
Mouthfeel: 3.5
Body: 3
Taste: 4.5

Grab some Sutter Home White Zinfandel before we drink it all. Hannaford: $7.99.

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