Hey. I know that guy you're dating. Yeah, I do. He's that guy that's so tired from work, so stressed about the project he's working on. He's just been through an awful breakup and it's really hitting him hard...He can't get involved with anyone until he knows what his life is about...God, he's so complicated.
Sound familiar? Maybe you've heard it, or something like it, from that guy you think you want to date. What do Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, former writers for Sex and The City, think about his excuses? Their response is summed up in the title of their best-selling debut book He's Just Not That Into You.
When a friend first tried this phrase out on me a few months ago, I was initially quite offended. "What do you mean, "he's just not that into me?" I said. "It's really just as simple as it sounds," she explained. Once the initial shock of this ballsy statement began to wear off, I took a minute to think about it and I actually felt better about my situation! The solution to all my guy gripes was staring me right in the face: he just wasn't that into me. A catch phrase had come to the rescue.
Behrendt and Tuccillo's book delivers in much the same way. The book cleverly combines everything you've never wanted to admit about men with everything you've always wanted to know about them. They find a way to tell you the cold, hard truth, while still keeping your spirits high about future prospects, as well as advice on how to deal with guys who are "just not that into you" in the first place. Some of the titles of the chapters include: "He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out", "He's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you," and "He's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak."
The main message of the book? Don't waste your time with some guy who's not really interested. Sounds pretty good to me. In fact, when taken the right way, this phrase is quite liberating! Maybe girls can stop obsessing about guys, and analyzing their every move, and just accept the fact that the reason they haven't called a week after your first date is probably because he's not interested. Things just weren't clicking.
So is this new phrase the answer to moving on from an unfulfilling, so-so relationship or unacknowledged crush? It sure doesn't hurt and its message has resonated with many women. In fact, "he's just not that into you" seems to be the newest catch phrase of the Sunday morning recap. The book, with its no B.S. approach to dating, has made the dating and advice books that came before it look obsolete, or at least, out of touch with the times.
No longer are women interested in "The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" or "How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You: The Fail-proof, Fool-Proof Method." Our generation is over trying to figure men out and on to doing bigger and better things. We don't have time to sit around and wonder why he hasn't called. It's time to move on, and that is why this book has taken off so fast. Deep down, women have wanted someone to tell them this for decades. It's exactly what modern women want to hear. In this day and age we desire to do everything fast; now we have the ability to understand men fast too. He's Just Not That Into You is the ultimate reality check and may possibly be best way to get over that misguided guy and move on to better things.