One of the most exciting, terrifying, potentially rewarding, and often surreal aspects of going to college is learning to live with new roommates. Regardless of whether a student is an only child who grew up in an isolated palace or the middle child in a family of thirteen, he or she is expected to sleep, sharing the same air with one or two other people.
Morbid accounts of human nature, such as William Golding's The Lord of the Flies, suggest that havoc is inevitable in this system, when young adults who have previously been monitored every moment of their lives suddenly are thrust not only into freedom, but into constant close contact with new and unfamiliar people.
However, for the most part, roommates become comfortable acquaintances if not close friends and confidantes.
But even then, there are exceptions.
Kim Pacelli, Director of Residential Life, estimated there is one roommate conflict within each proctor group. Pacelli also said more students approached her with grievances about roommates during the first semester of this year than in previous years.
One possible reason for the increased number of conflicts is that more first-years are living in triples than ever before, both because many upper classmen have opted to remain on campus and because the class of 2008 is larger than any other in Bowdoin's history.
"Some students believe that living in triples is great," Pacelli says. However, Pacelli did acknowledge that the "three person dynamic can be especially hard."
First-Year Assistant Dean Jim Kim added that within a three-person room "there is a high probability that two will click better."
Although both Pacelli and Kim stressed that first-year dorms are not organized arbitrarily, there is never any guarantee that roommates will be compatible. Res Life sends surveys to incoming first years that question characteristics such as music preference, neatness and sleep habits. Pacelli stated that these questionnaires are used both to "match and mix people up" so that students lifestyles will not be disturbed, but also that there is not completely homogeneous grouping. Because a list of questions does not provide extensive insight into each student's character, Pacelli asserted, "sometimes it works out well, and sometimes it doesn't."
Even when controversy arises within freshman dorms, both Residential Life and the deans are reluctant to suggest that students change rooms before exploring other options. Bowdoin's philosophy is that students should try to overcome conflicts and coexist with their roommates.
"Working out conflicts is an opportunity for growth," said Kim. "In the real world you can't snap your fingers and make a problem go away." In regard to roommate switches, Kim stated "there is no set protocol."
Pacelli concurs, believing that conflicts have to be treated "on a case by case basis. There are a number of different ways to work things out." Pacelli first suggests that the students discuss their problems together. If that is impossible, Pacelli advises them to seek out their proctor who, she believes, "is a great resource."
If students are still discontent after trying Pacelli's first two suggestions, Residential Life will help them find new rooms. It was especially difficult for students to change rooms this year not only because of the school's philosophy, but also because of practical considerations?there were very few available spaces.
"In the fall, there were only two female vacancies," said Pacelli.
There are a number of current first years who have moved. Oliver Cunningham '08, one such student, states that "Res Life was very accommodating after I approached them and explained my situation. They handled it really well."
Z-Z Cowen '08, who remained in her room, but has one different roommate said, "I appreciated that ResLife e-mailed me to make sure that I knew what was going on and that the situation was okay with me."
Other students have different opinions. Dana Borowitz, also a first year, stated that "Res Life was originally hesitant to do anything about my room, even when I approached them and my proctor several times in tears. I think [Residential Life] tries to be helpful, but they don't understand how important roommate situations are, and how harmful they can be."
"College roommates are crucial to the college experience. My first semester was completely disrupted by my roommate problems. My grades were definitely affected as were my relationships," Borowitz said.
Once students have changed rooms, they are faced with the same challenges as in September. When Cunningham moved into his new room, he was careful not to encroach on his new roommates' space. "I tried to be very accommodating because I didn't want a repeat of last semester," he said.
Similarly, Cowen stated, "my main issue with having a new roommate was making sure that she was comfortable living in the room. Since I was already comfortable in the room and she was new to it, I wanted to be sure that it didn't seem like I was more in control or had more of a right to be in the room."
There is a good possibility that the first year in college is the only time that most students will room with people they previously did not know. It is an opportunity either to make lifelong friends or to practice overcoming adversity. However, as Cunningham stated, "roommates are important, but they obviously don't make or break your experience."