I'm not especially proud of myself this week. After a solid four years spent unrelentingly mocking my male roommate for not drinking beer and opting for the sweeter pleasures of Twisted Tea, I decided it was only fair that I review the most effeminate of beers: fruit beers.
The conscientious humanities major in me demands that I take a moment to explain that despite the commonplace cultural association between men and beer, reinforced by countless tedious Super Bowl ads, there is nothing manly about drinking beer.
In fact, most of the beer found in the fridges of Bowdoin men tastes like little more than mildly alcoholic water, and I applaud those brave individuals who can comfortably order a stiff cocktail, a fruit beer, or even a Twisted Tea in a packed Brunswick bar.
I've always enjoyed a fruit beer or two in private, but I was curious to see if there were better options in the Bootlegger vaults, and there is never a better excuse to expand my beer horizons than a pressing deadline.
First on the tasting block was Sea Dog's Apricot Wheat Ale (4.6 percent alcohol by volume). The most notable aspect of this beer is its intense and pleasant apricot aroma. Sea Dog nailed the scent, and I had high hopes for this beer, but upon tasting, it fell completely short.
The beer tastes nothing like its scent, and the apricot is almost entirely indistinguishable. While this subtlety could be considered an advantage if you are afraid of an overpowering single flavor, I doubt I could tell this beer apart from a generic bland ale by taste alone.
I tasted the Sam Adams Cherry Wheat (5.3 percent) next and nearly abandoned this review as a result. The aroma was identical to that of Robitussin, and a small, timid sip revealed that the taste was also reminiscent of cold syrup.
While I must thank the good people at Sam Adams for bringing back long-forgotten memories of childhood illnesses, one sip was enough for me and I promptly poured out the rest of my glass.
The cherry had failed to inspire confidence, so I expected little from the Sam Adams Blackberry Wheat (5.5 percent) that followed. The aroma smelled like no blackberries I've ever encountered, but it was less offensive than that of the cherry.
A first taste revealed surprisingly malty complexity, though it was masked by the extremely artificial, largely indeterminate fruity flavoring. However, as soon as I stopped drinking, I immediately regretted it, because the incredibly vile aftertaste sets in almost immediately and refuses to leave your shell-shocked taste buds alone until you wash the brew down with another drink.
Sea Dog's Blue Paw Wheat Ale (4.6 percent) was the next contender, and one that everyone in our tasting group had previously experienced on multiple occasions. It poured a dark gold, and released a hint of blueberry and malt aroma. The taste was lightly malty and nutty, though these flavors were slightly muted in the presence of the blueberry flavoring.
Despite the claim of "natural flavors" on the bottle, the blueberry still tasted a bit artificial, though not nearly so much as that of the previous few beers. The beer is a tad sweet for my personal taste, and the entire effect was good but not great.
We quickly followed Sea Dog's offering with the Bar Harbor Blueberry Ale (5.2 percent) and were immediately struck by the vast difference between two beers featuring the same fruit.
The Bar Harbor poured a hazy amber and the aroma only hinted at blueberries. Our tasting revealed a complex malty and hoppy profile with a touch of berry, though it was certainly not the primary flavor. Unlike Sea Dog's beer, this one was not unduly sweet, nor did it taste artificial. It was instead a well-balanced beer that capitalized on blueberry without allowing it to overwhelm the rest of the flavors.
Sea Dog's Raspberry Wheat Ale (4.5 percent) made us all question if what we were drinking was in fact beer. It tasted more like cream soda than any beer I've ever had, and I found it nearly impossible to assess it with the traditional beer jargon. Overall, it's taste was quite pleasant, but it's not what I would reach for if I wanted a beer at the end of the day.
Shipyard Applehead Wheat Ale (4.5 percent) is the newest contender, released for the first time this winter.
Shipyard is trying to bank off the success of its well-received Pumpkinhead, and the recipe for success seems to be to leave all of the ingredients the same with the exception of the featured fruit. The beer pours a pale gold and releases the smell of cinnamon and apples. The taste is rather mild, though the apples feature prominently, dominating a mild hop and malt flavor reminiscent of traditional wheat beer.
The spices are present but never overpowering, and the beer is ultimately fairly pleasant. It reminded a few tasters of cider more than beer, though they agreed that is not necessarily a bad thing.
In conclusion, try the Applehead if you like Pumpkinhead, give the Bar Harbor Blueberry a chance to show up Sea Dog, buy the Raspberry if you're in the mood for cream soda, and never touch Sam Adams.