Carl Woock is this week's guest columnist .
Ivies Week is a special time for Bowdoin students. We crawl out of the libraries and classrooms and discover an unusually hospitable climate.
After five months of darkness and permafrost, we can now pretend that our college experience isn't so awful.
What's more, we put aside the anxiety of academic work and bombard our livers with any poison we can find. While we stagger around campus until our legs give out, we create great memories that will be duly forgotten because of alcohol-related amnesia.
As any Ivies veteran knows, you will find many opportunities to drink Natural Light this week.
Wherever there are bros in pastel-colored shorts and mesh tank tops, there will be Natties; wherever there are sweaty underclassmen grinding to Ke$ha in the basement of a social house, there will be Natties; wherever you are at any given moment, there will be at least one lukewarm Natty in the vicinity if you look hard enough.
Which is fine: it gets the job done. But frankly, Natural Light tastes kind of like river water from the Ganges.
So just because Natties are available doesn't mean you should turn your back on variety. With that in mind, we have put together a short guide to suggest some other beverages worth sampling as you enjoy your Ivies adventure.
Try them out, and if you don't like any of our suggestions you can always rinse your mouth with the Natty in your back pocket.
Thursday:
Daylight: You want start to drinking, but you can't skip classes. What should you do? Open up an easy-drinking Twisted Tea, of course. No, we're serious. Whether you go with the stripped down "Backyard Batch" or a tasty "Half & Half," you won't know that you're drinking something with 5% ABV. Pour one of these into a Nalgene and your professors won't know either.
Nighttime: By the time Racer X takes the stage, you'll probably have wanted to move on to a real beer. For a nice summery flavor, the UFO White is a decent call. It has hints of citrus, and a crisp finish.
Sure, you can spend a little more for a better Belgian white, but this is still a very drinkable choice. If the weather is nice, this will probably put you in the Ivies spirit. Should the beer come short, Racer X will certainly pick up the slack.
Friday:
Morning: If you have class today, don't go.
Afternoon: If you're still hung over from last night, ease into the day with a Mike's Hard Lemonade. Sure, you won't want too much of Mike's product: it's very sweet and a little syrupy.
But when you're bro-ing out on the Brunswick Quad, hat backwards and brew in hand, Mike's Hard will certainly boost your street cred. In a similar vein, don't ostracize yourself by drinking Bud Light Lime or Bud Light Golden Wheat. That stuff is for posers!
Harpswell Apartments: For the Harpswell party, you can't go wrong with a summer seasonal beer. Sam Adams Summer Ale is a popular choice, with a noticeable lemon zest and spicy finish but very balanced overall. Other options—such as Gritty's Vacationland or Geary's Summer Ale, for example—are enjoyable as well, if less distinctive.
Saturday:
Brunch: Saturday is the most important day of Ivies, so invest in a good brunch early on. Of course, complimenting brunch with a good drink is crucial. Instead of sipping novelty mimosas made with discount bottles of Andre, try an Ommegang Witte (available at Bootleggers).
The beer's ample carbonation is almost champagne-like, and since it is brewed with orange peel, consider it a beer version of the mimosa.
Whittier Field: Perhaps the best part of all of Ivies is the concert, which combines great tunes, lots of sun, and, yes, a bit of beer consumption.
To make the show a little more memorable, take a risk on the Bar Harbor Blueberry Wheat (available at Bootleggers). Some blueberry beers can be overwhelming (we're looking at you, Sea Dog), but this beer has to be one of the best fruit beers we've ever had. And we were skeptical at first. Even if you dislike the whole blueberry thing, this is worth your time and money.
The Moment of Doubt: We know what you're feeling now. You've had too much sun, too much fun, and you're about to give up on Ivies and hit the sack. No need! Your beer panel has found the "perfect" pick-me-up. Sparks Malt Beverage/ Energy Drink is "orange" flavored (although the taste was more like Natty Ice and Robitussin, or maybe like someone burping into your mouth), and despite having the viscosity of spit, it will give you a necessary pre-Pinestock boost. Buy it at Bootleggers, and drink it out of a can. (We tried it out of glasses, and, trust us, you don't want to experience the aroma.)
Pinestock: Congratulations! You made it all the way to the final event of the weekend. You've made new friends whose names you can't remember, you've used Randy Nichols wrist reflectors as glow sticks during an impromptu rave, and yet you still have energy to go all the way to Pine Street (thanks in part to Sparks).
So celebrate the end of your marathon than with a Victory Prima Pils (also available at Bootleggers). This beer is light but fully flavorful with plenty of hops, sort of like a more potent and better Heineken. It was our favorite beer of the tasting session, and will be a perfect end to a perfect weekend.
Remember, enjoy Ivies and all of these drinks responsibly. And try to diversify your drinking experience this Ivies. You'll enjoy yourself no matter what, but Natty shouldn't set the standard.
The Bowdoin Orient has a promotion in partnership with Bootleggers Beverage Warehouse in Topsham, Maine. This week only, Bowdoin students can receive 10 percent off Victory Prima Pils, Harpoon UFO white, Gritty's Vacationland, Bar Harbor Blueberry wheat, Twisted Tea, and Ommegang Witte. upon presentation of a Bowdoin ID.