Date Week is here. Some people will ignore it, some will use it as an excuse to take a risk and go on a date. A few couples might even get together. But Date Week also reminds us that, as a whole, Bowdoin isn't happy with its dating scene.
Personally, I'm tired of hearing about it. It bothers me that people at Bowdoin are driven and passionate enough about the dating scene to write in the Orient about it every year and offer ten different programs during date week, yet nothing changes. So what's the point?
I don't think there's anything wrong with the dating scene. I don't think it's something we should be complaining about. Going on a date is a very personal experience, and while the people around you are certainly a factor, it is, in the end, your decision. And if the entire campus believes so strongly that we should date more, doesn't that say something about your chances?
We seem to understand the reasons around the lack of dating culture at Bowdoin pretty well, and many of them are the same reasons we love it here so much. Bowdoin is a small, closed community, and we tend to know everyone else's business. We're all busy juggling classes, sports, extracurriculars and campus jobs. We're here to learn about ourselves, and one aspect of that is sex, but it's much easier to go through a series of casual hookups than a serious relationship.
We've all heard that old myth, that half of Bowdoin students marry another Bowdoin student. While it's not true, it has such strong staying power because it feels very real to us—and the actual number isn't far behind. This isn't the 1950s, and we didn't come to college to get married. Relationships can feel like that. Couples are usually very casual or very serious at Bowdoin, and the bridge between the two represents much of the issue students have with the dating scene.
The fact is, many Bowdoin students are in relationships. The most recent Orient poll reported 43 percent of students respondents in monogamous relationships. While I think that is a bit high, it is a reality that many students do find a partner here. This is why I don't have an issue with the dating scene. Hooking up happens, but relationships are out there, too.
I'm not trying to say that we should change the dating scene at Bowdoin. If you want to, go ahead and good luck, but I don't see it going anywhere. Instead, I challenge each student to look at dating differently. Complaining about the lack of a dating scene at Bowdoin does nothing to solve the problem, and it builds a wall that prevents people from seeing a serious relationship as something that happens here.
So stop being a victim of your circumstances. Changing attitudes about dating is the first step to making it happen. If you want to date so badly, ask someone out. No one is stopping you, and if you feel that the culture on campus is so strong that you think dating just isn't possible, remember that an enormous majority of students say they are dissatisfied with the dating scene on campus. Which means that that same majority of students might be silently waiting for you to make the first move.
Dylan Kane is a member of the Class of 2012.