Sex 101. You might have seen advertisements, or perhaps you walked by on your way back from class. Maybe you even went—props to those of you who did in spite of the intrinsic awkwardness of talking about sex. That is exactly why we wanted to hold the event. In years past, the event has been run by Julia Bond '09.
Sadly, Julia graduated last year, leaving a void in our hearts and taking away one of the most intriguing programs of all time. Sex 101 was meant to be a healthy discussion forum for...well, sex. Our goal was to create conversation and to provide a place in which sex could be discussed frankly and openly. This, we hoped, would ultimately lead to better, healthier experiences.
One of the most fascinating things to come of the Sex 101 presentation was the result of the completely anonymous survey we conducted, to which 314 people responded. These people shared answers that varied drastically. For those of you who wanted to learn how to negotiate a threesome (hint: more than one of the respondents did), we're sorry—we know as much as you do on that front.
All we can tell you is that your chances might be better than you think: on a scale of one to 10, the majority of respondents averaged an eight when asked about their level of sexual adventurousness. Plenty of both girls and guys told us that a threesome is the one thing they would like to do sexually that they had not yet. Our survey yielded some even more surprising statistics.
Forty-three percent of you were sexually active and monogamous, which is incredible considering the stereotype that Bowdoin students do not have relationships. Another 15 percent have never been sexually active, which is a number that isn't typically discussed on campus.
Other, less-surprising questions included: How do you like your partner "down there"? (Men preferred shaved, women preferred trimmed); What is your favorite position? (Missionary and cowboy/cowgirl variations, with doggy-style solidly in third); and, do you masturbate? (Around 80 percent of you said yes; 41 percent of those who did were women.)
The best survey results, however, were responses to the questions about insecurities, turn-offs and turn-ons. Insecurities often come up in sex-related conversations—we talk about how we wish our abs were stronger, or how we wish that we did not have moles in awkward places. Sometimes we even say the reason someone would not want us is because we are too short, too tall or too gangly.
Others worry about their performance ability or lack of knowledge. The most frequent survey responses involved feelings of inadequacy, both bodily and performance-wise, as well as insecurities about physical characteristics. Men worried about whether or not they were large enough downstairs, whether they last too long or finish too quickly during sex, and were concerned about not pleasing their partner.
Women emphasized body-conscious concerns in addition to not pleasing partners, as well as failure to achieve satisfaction.
Surprisingly, there was very little overlap between turn-offs, turn-ons, and the things people labeled as insecurities. Some of the biggest turn-offs for women were things like their partner being pushy, a partner's lack of concern for them, and bad hygiene. Men stated that their biggest turn-offs were arrogance, bad breath and lack of confidence. On the other hand, male turn-ons included confidence and their partner "being into it" or being into them. Women at Bowdoin liked kindness, sensitivity and good-smelling partners.
What does this mean? It means that you should talk to your partner about what he or she wants and likes, and it means that you should worry less about things like performance ability or your physique, but become more aware of your personality and how you interact with others.
So, next time you meet someone new and you are heading for the bedroom, we encourage you to be confident, kind, and not worry too much about your own inadequacies. Talk to your partner, and realize that we are all far too worried about our own inadequacies to even notice our partners' inadequacies, so don't sweat the small stuff. Also, it doesn't hurt to smell good.
Evan Boucher and Keri Forbringer are members of the Classes of 2011 and 2010, respectively.