Sometimes I wonder how I got this job. What qualifies me to spout 800 words, loosely related to the topic of sex, for the Bowdoin community to read every other week? Because this is the last article I'll be writing for the Orient before I graduate this month, it seems to me like an ideal time to share with you my credentials as a sex columnist. If you want to know the truth, the idea for this column began as a joke that my friends and I hatched over lunch at Moulton early this past fall. I think the idea was that it would be really funny, or ironic, or something, if I wrote the sex column because of my particular situation with regard to sex.
First of all, I'm queer. Hopefully, this is not news to any of you, but it does contribute a great deal to my appeal as a "(sex)pert." Because my sexuality falls outside of the norm, I automatically become a point of sexual interest. Whether that interest resides in the category of admiration, disgust, or something in between is not for me to say—all I can say is, ever since I've been queer people have been quite a bit more interested in talking to me about sex and sexuality than they ever were in the past.
But it's not just the people around me who have been more interested in engaging in conversation and debate about sexuality with me. I myself have been increasingly more invested in questions regarding sex and sexuality over the past four years. As soon as I began to identify myself as someone outside of the norm, I wanted to understand how it was that I got to that place, why I should stay there, and how I could make a life for myself in a world that I had barely even considered before. To me, it seems only natural that such self-exploration and re-evaluation should take place in an individual who is just beginning to stake claim to a marginalized identity.
However, something that I'm beginning to understand is that I'm not the only one who's interested. College is a period of development. During these four years, many of us do a lot of work (i.e. experimentation) in the name of "finding ourselves." Sexuality in particular becomes a central focus for many of us during this time in our lives. As we traverse this small liberal arts landscape, we contend with more than just the bitter cold of February, or the brutal stress of late April. Every single one of us, regardless of preferences or backgrounds of any kind has, an opinion on sex. Each of us desires, and as we do so, we do it differently and with different levels of comfort and experience. And so, from my point of view, each of us can benefit from dialogue and exploration of questions around sexuality, no matter how "normal" or marginalized we find ourselves when it comes to these things.
In the past, I've definitely considered sexual exploration and the use of intoxicating substances to be very closely linked. After last weekend, I'm pretty confident that I can come up with a couple of reasons to support my former opinion. In a way, it makes sense. Sex is such a complicated, physical, social, mental, and emotional thing—the lowering of inhibitions may seem more like a requirement than an option at times. I bring up this point because I think that the general attitude about sex at Bowdoin could stand to be improved. When we marry sexual exploration to the consumption of intoxicants, we make it possible for our community to downplay the importance of sex and sexuality. It just makes things that much more difficult to understand or talk about with a sense of feeling and respect the morning after when those involved were intoxicated the night before.
All this, however, is not to say that Bowdoin is a sexually stagnant community. If I could say anything to describe my four years here it would be progress. It's really unbelievable how different Bowdoin seems to me today than it did four years ago. The campus has come alive with discussion, debate, art, and action around questions of sexuality in ways that I never could have imagined. There are communities of people (Outpeers, V-Day, BMASV, Safe Space, and BQSA to name a few) that are actively tackling issues pertaining to sexuality with words and actions and spirit in ways that really seem to be making a difference. I want to thank those of you who have taken the time to read my articles this year for your support. This column has been a real pleasure to write. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to experience some of this progression at Bowdoin.