With all the nasty election year politics and vicious schoolyard insults being thrown around lately by both the College Democrats and College Republicans, it's nice to see Bowdoin students energized by another issue?the Red Sox. Yes, the Sox are finally back in the World Series, and it seems the whole campus is getting into it. In that vein, let me offer some random musings on the Red Sox and its legion of followers.
* I truly feel sorry for the Yankees fans at Bowdoin. I mean, I feel sorry for Yankees fans anyway, since they are going to burn in hell for all eternity, but I especially feel sorry for them at Bowdoin. There are just so many Sox fans here, that being a Yankees fan is like having some strange, mysterious disease. They have to sit alone in the bar, they watch the games alone in dark little rooms, they walk around in their jerseys with their heads down, avoiding eye contact. Truly, it was a great series, regardless of which team one was cheering for, and so I say good for you, Yankees fans. (And may God have mercy on your souls.)
* I propose that all schoolwork be optional in future years while the Red Sox are in the playoffs. I'm not saying that baseball fans shouldn't have to do their work, just that it should be postponed until the season is over. I mean seriously, there was a six hour game this series, and it's not easy to fit in studying time around that. Having assignments be optional means that after the playoffs are over, students could devote all their attention to their studies, and the professors would be happy because they would be getting the best work possible from all students. Perfect logic, right?
* Props to Bowdoin Security for not being hardcore about the celebration at Brunswick Wednesday night. I don't know what happened later in the evening, but right after the end of the game there were a lot of students cheering there, and an impromptu bonfire cropped up surrounded by said students. Security could have come at any time and shut the celebration down, but they didn't, and I respect them for that. No harm was being done, no one and no property was in danger, and I think they realized that. Good for them.
* Prediction?Mark Bellhorn will be found sometime Friday morning, covered in cardboard boxes, lying on Lansdowne St., and reeking of cheap booze. Is it just me or does that man always look like he is suffering from the worst hangover ever at any time during a game?
* David Ortiz is the reincarnation of Babe Ruth. Both left-handed hitters, both look the exact opposite of an athlete, they have the same facial shape (jowls included), and they both destroy the ball in clutch situations. All Ortiz needs to do is put down a few hot dogs in between innings and his secret will be out.
* If (knock on wood) the Sox do win the World Series, I predict the death rate in Boston will multiply exponentially. How many old people do you think are just clinging to life, waiting to see the Sox win?
* Prediction?In anger, George Steinbrenner demotes the entire team to Triple A and promotes the entire Triple A club to the majors. Bad for Yankees fans, but the Columbus Clippers will start winning a whole lot.
* How fitting is it that Johnny Damon is the one to lead us to the promised land.