We at the much renowned Bowdoin Outing Club enjoy the delights of autumn as much as the next person. Mulled cider, apple butter, apple pie, apple pancakes, apple cobbler, apple crisp, applesauce, apple chutney...well, you get the picture. (We like apples).
We also like hiking in the crisp air. We love paddling rivers where the kaleidoscope of autumnal colors reflects in the ripples. We dream about campfires that keep the fall chill away. We lie awake nights in those other months, longing for the crunch of leaves underfoot, and the sharp smell of wood smoke on the air.
Ooh. And don't forget caramel apples. Or bobbing for apples. Or APPLE PICKING! Everyone loves apple picking.
However, one thing, and one thing alone threatens our enjoyment of these pleasures of the autumn months. Now, we don't particularly like Halloween decorations, but we're talking about a much more insidious evil here. We're talking about the Leaf Peepers. (Insert scary music here).
Not all of you may be familiar with the concept of a Leaf Peeper. You may think the term denotes some sort of frog, peeking up through the many layers of fallen foliage. You may have darker thoughts about through-hikers in trench coats, with nothing underneath but a pair of Smartwool socks. Your thoughts may even have strayed back to apples, to those rotten apples that fell too early to be edible.
No, Leaf Peepers are people, all right. We don't mean to offend, but they usually come from Connecticut, New York, and New Jersey. A few brave souls have ventured up from Delaware, North Carolina, and Kansas...Kansas? Don't ask, just trust us on this one. They come to Maine lured by the promise of vistas of rolling hills covered in brilliant colors, of bed and breakfasts where the apple butter flows like wine, and of magical drives through fields of pumpkins and farmhouses marked with those quaint little dried corn stalks.
At home, these people pose no danger to anyone. But here, in Maine, far away from their natural habitat, they threaten the very equilibrium of the land. Clad only in L. L. Bean wear (including the infamous Bean Boots), they carry trekking poles and not one, but two fanny packs. They take too many pictures. They leave too many footprints. They pull over at all scenic overlooks. And they drive far too slowly.
If you meet a Leaf Peeper, don't run. Speak slowly and gently. Offer to take his/her photo framed by a brilliantly orange bough of maple, oak or sycamore and move on calmly. Whatever you do, don't strike up a conversation?the Leaf Peepers love small talk, and you may never get home to your apple dumplings and that pot o' cider brewing on the cheery hearth back at Bowdoin.
Stay tuned for our series highlighting the dangers in the woods. Next week we'll be writing about the authors' very own encounters with Big Foot.
There will be a backpacking trip Saturday and Sunday of next week and a flatwater canoeing day trip on Saturday. Sign up at the OLC.