ASB gives a little TLC for Valentine?s Day

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A Sojourn in Civilized Life

ASB gives a little TLC for Valentine?s Day

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

February 15, 2008

It's February 15. That means that most of you are probably reading this in the midst of a spirit-draining post-Valentine's Day sugar crash. I personally have vowed not to eat another carbohydrate until Easter.

The day after Valentine's Day has different implications for different people. Some of you are probably thankful that you're not watching any more grown men carrying pink teddy bears and daisies across the Quad in the name of relationship maintenance. Some may be slowly floating down from the cloud of a romantic evening wherein you rekindled a relationship perhaps gone frigid in the January blizzards. Others may simply be nursing gums sore from flossing pastel-colored sugar out of your teeth.

But whatever be your state today, no one on our campus should have been lacking Valentine's Day cheer yesterday. I don't remember whether or not our Alternative Spring Break (ASB) trips were so active in Bowdoin's Valentine atmosphere last year, but this year they made sure that not a soul was without the opportunity for love yesterday.

In fact, together, the Louisiana, Peru, and Puerto Rico trips covered all the stages of romance, from courtship to consummation.

The Louisiana group, in perhaps the most benign fundraiser of the three, offered candy-grams to students in the union. A chocolate and a note with a small sentiment: the perfect opportunity for a harmless flirtation, or even a quick "hello" to a friend.

But let's say the candy-gram wasn't as lucrative as you'd hoped. Maybe your recipient didn't appreciate the gesture, or had already received a pink teddy bear earlier that day. In the world of competitive dating, teddy bears always trump candy-grams. It's just science.

Whatever the reason, perhaps by mid-Valentine's Day the only love you'd received was in the form of a fun-sized Reese's cup from your econ professor. But, without despair, where candy-grams left you high and dry, our Peruvian travelers picked you up.

And, hopefully, they weren't the only ones "picking you up" after ASB's "speed dating" event on the evening of Valentine's Day itself.

Until I saw a flyer for this, I thought "speed dating" was a service provided by local dating agencies for 45-year-old singles looking for a spouse immediately. But, in fact, here it was on our very own campus. A reflection on Bowdoin's dating scene? Perhaps.

In any event, though, the Peru trip members allowed students with no Valentine's Day plans to have not just one date, but 20! The tagline in their campus-wide e-mail: "Why have one long, boring date, when you can have 20, short, exciting, excruciatingly awkward dates?" There's all sorts of reasons I would actually choose the former (mainly, though, that one awkward situation in an evening is better than 20), but I can see someone getting an adrenaline rush from speed dating.

But the fun, of course, didn't end there, because I was not kidding when I said that ASB trips were covering courtship all the way up through consummation. Thanks to "Alternative" ASB Puerto Rico, you could complete that cycle in a fun and safe way, with their distribution of "condom-grams." These messages were perfect for those of you who feel that sending candy-grams was just unnecessarily beating around the bush.

Their student digest post proclaimed, "Buy your personalized or anonymous condom-grams...make this Valentine's Day fun AND funny for you, your sweetheart, or just a friend." And while I'm not sure I would find receiving an anonymous condom-gram on Valentine's Day that hysterical, I can appreciate the creative twist on the classic candy-gram.

I've heard a lot of people complain about the lack of a vibrant dating scene on campus, that we've become a school of sex maniacs fueled by weekend hook-ups and alcohol. If this is true?though I'm pretty sure that's just what they call "college culture" these days?I think that our ASB trips may have doubled their community service this semester.

For not only are they venturing both nationally and internationally to do great services for the underprivileged, but they have also provided Bowdoin with the opportunity to fill the dating void that so many people feel. Because if chocolates, 20 dates, and condoms in your Student Union mailbox doesn't make your love life seem a little more exciting, I don't know what will.

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