The 10 Luckiest Men in Sports

Column Like I See 'Em: A-Rod no loss, plus 10 NBA predictions

He's gone. He's finally gone. For the first time in nearly four years, I can finally screw the cap onto my bottle of Advil without thinking twice, knowing I won't have to open it for a long, long time. Alex Rodriguez has finally left the New York Yankees.

Column Like I See 'Em: Soulja Boy Tell ?Em

The $67.5 million man, Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo lined up under center on first and 10 on New York's 25 yard-line with a receiver to both his left and right, his backs lined up in an I-formation. Carrie Underwood's fiancé-to-be then got the snap and dropped back, utilizing the play action (and subsequently Madden's vision cone, of course), then slung the ball deep down the right sideline, hitting Terrell Owens, who was torching Giants corner Sam Madison in the process, perfectly in stride for the touchdown and a 24-17 lead.

Column Like I See 'Em

This piece represents the opinion of the author:

November 9, 2007

So I learned a couple of valuable tidbits from watching the Colts-Patriots throw-down on Sunday: 1) Tom Brady is indisputably the best quarterback in the land, 2) Indy running back Joseph "Live and Let" Addai is much better than I originally thought, and 3) Pass interference can now be called when a defender makes eye contact with the intended receiver.

The Patriots won the game 24-20, and the Colts lost it, after surrendering a 20-10 lead with less than 10 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, adding to New England's near-unprecedented invincibility this season. Seeing as how the Colts were Belichick & Co.'s greatest obstacle in their schedule, all signs point to 16-0?that is until they play Kellen Clemens and the Jets that is (I gotta tell ya, 1-8 never felt so good).

But it wasn't Brady's epic comeback, nor Belichick and Dungy's icy handshake at midfield after the game that I found so intriguing. Instead, it was a comment one of my friends made in the second quarter, "Boy, Jim Sorgi has it made: he gets to be Peyton Manning's backup, gets a nice salary for it ($850,000/year), is guaranteed to play the final two weeks of the season when the Colts (usually) have locked up the division title and home-field advantage, and gets a Super Bowl ring for it?what a lucky guy."

It's true. Jim Sorgi really is a lucky guy. Probably one of the luckiest in professional sports, which is exactly what inspired this week's article. The following are the top 10 luckiest athletes in professional sports, but, to be clear, the definition of lucky has very little to do with talent, but almost everything to do with money made/current situation in life. In other words, Brady, Manning, LeBron, and Derek Jeter will not be included. So without further ado, I give you the Lucky List:

10. Barry Zito, San Francisco Giants

Heard they'd do anything for a Klondike, well he would do anything to win...psyche. Hence the former Oakland ace becoming the most expensive pitcher in league history last winter, crossing the bay to sign a 7-year, $126 million with the lowly Giants. The Mets were initially extremely interested when Zito hit the free agent market, but the impassionate southpaw didn't want to wait, inking his John Hancock to become the second-biggest Barry in San Fran. He's locked up until 2013, and really has very little to worry about until then. The Giants are in a rebuilding stage, and No. 75 wasn't brought on to save their sinking ship in the first place anyway. Life is Barry, Barry good.

9. Rick DiPietro, New York Islanders

It's comforting to know that when I'm 30 years old this highfalutin goaltender will still have three years remaining on his contract. That's because the former B.U. Terrier signed a record-breaking 15-year (yes, 15 YEARS!) deal with the Big Apple's forgotten team worth $67.5 million back in September of last year. Who knows why owner Charles Wang decided to supply his goaltender, who's not even among the league's best, with a ball and chain for the next 5,475 days, but one thing is for sure: Job security is no problem for Ricky D.

8. Adrian Beltre/Richie Sexson, Seattle Mariners

What Newman, the Soup Nazi, and Kenny Bania were to Jerry, Beltre and Sexson are to the Mariners, at least from a financial standpoint. Both third and first basemen signed a couple of outrageous, undeservedly fat contracts ($64 mil over five, $50 mil over four, respectively) back in December of 2004, and have left a lot to be desired since. And while Beltre put together a solid season this past year (.276, 26, 99), Sexson struggled more than Carl Lewis singing the National Anthem (.205, 21, 63), yet both players fiscally hindered the M's from getting younger, better, faster, stronger (wow, that's two Kanye references already). But that doesn't mean that they aren't living the life. The Yankees have a huge hole left by their former third baseman who shall remain nameless, so Beltre could certainly be an option there. And Sexson, well, he's just tall...and of course, unjustifiably wealthy.

7. Stephon Marbury/Quentin Richardson/Jerome James, New York Knickerbockers

They have remaining contracts of $42 mil over two, $26.3 mil over three, and $18.6 mil over three, respectively. The first plays, but is counterproductive at making players around him better. The second begins by shooting a couple of threes, then takes a seat on the bench for the rest of the game, with a heat pack permanently attached to his back. And the third never plays. Ever. And is arguably the worst midlevel exception signing in league history. But all of them get to play at the prestigious Madison Square Garden 41 times every season for the storied franchise that is the Knickerbockers who are off to a solid 2-1 start. And oh yeah, they get all that money, too.

6. Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers

Selected in the 2005 NFL Draft as the replacement for the then critically condemned Brett Favre, Rodgers signed a five-year deal for $7.7 Million to take the reigns at Lambeau Field...oops. Favre currently has the Packers atop the NFC at 7-1, and has shown no signs of shutting down, leaving Rodgers in the dark, but still on the sideline, as the future Hall-of-Famer's protégé?a job most people would take for free.

5. Mike Hampton, Atlanta Braves

This southpaw is better known for his bat than his arm, which wouldn't be a bad thing except for the fact that he's a pitcher. So promising looked the lefty after winning the 2000 NLCS MVP in helping the Mets reach the World Series, that the Rockies offered the goateed slugger an eight-year deal worth $121 million: an abbreviated commitment that lasted just two years after Hampton posted back-to-back years of atrocious ERAs 5.12 and 6.15. He was then dealt to Florida briefly, then to A-town where he hasn't pitched since 2005 due to arm problems. His deal is the 17th largest in professional sports history, and expires at the end of next year. And yes, he's been getting paid the entire time.

4. Jim Sorgi, Indianapolis Colts

(See above; I would have listed Brady's backup Matt Cassel, but he only plays when the Patriots are up by 70...at the least.)

3. David Beckham, Los Angeles Galaxy

Last January, the English midfielder left Real Madrid for La-La Land to compete in the MLS with the Galaxy (did I just say "compete" and "MLS" in the same sentence?) for a cool $250 million over five years. I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure that's a pretty nice little chunk of change. And although American soccer fans are praying ardently that Becks will popularize the sport in this country, the MLS is still 10, maybe 20 years away from becoming a league to be taken seriously, so he shouldn't have to worry about that "responsibility." In the meantime, Beckham will bend free kicks for goals, make more money than A-Rod, and keep loving Posh Spice. Now that ain't bad.

2. Alexi Yashin, Lokomotiv Yaroslavl of the Russian Super League

You may remember his heyday with the Senators, but it was in November of 2001 when he signed the priciest deal in NHL history: $87.5 million over 10 years?overseen by owner Charles Wang...again. After multiple disappointing seasons on Long Island, this summer the Isles finally decided to suck it up and eat the remaining four years of Yashin's ridiculous contract, that totaled $17.63 million, thus making No. 79 (great number choice, by the way) probably the richest unemployed person in world history. He is now playing in Russia, but he could have made all that cash by doing absolutely nothing. I don't know about you, but Lokomotiv Yaroslavl is suddenly my new favorite international hockey team.

1. Chris Hanson, New England Patriots

Some Pats fans might not even be able to identify him, let alone see him. That's because Hanson is the team's punter, and has made all of 21 of them this season...in nine games. In other words, all he has to do is punt for a team that doesn't. And come February, he'll have a shiny new ring to show off for showing up. That's why Chris Hanson is the luckiest player in professional sports.

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