When I was in eighth grade, the seeds were sown for a phenomenon that, for better or worse, will define our generation. It will be what World War II was to the 1940s, what drugs and protests were to the 60s, and what big hair and Blondie were to the 80s.
Reality television. What began as an extraordinarily successful experiment with shows such as "Survivor" and "Temptation Island" has escalated; now, "The Next Iron Chef" and "America's Next Top Model" are as household in their names as Bisquik and Febreeze.
Although "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila" currently sits in a very comfortable first place on my list of favorite reality TV shows, Miss Tequila may soon have a challenger. Because right here on our very own campus, the Bowdoin Cable Network is catching on to this reality trend.
That's right. In the next few weeks, "Who Wants To Be A Weatherman?" will be premiering on BCN, an exciting and artistic endeavor to find the next meteorologist for BCNews.
Senior Steven Bartus, who will be on the panel of judges for the new show, considers the show as a significant part of a long heritage of reality TV: "Reality television undoubtedly represents the most accurate glimpse into the dynamics of the Bowdoin Bubble. Our show could be seen as a unique cross between 'Survivor' and 'The Apprentice,' but without Donald Trump's hair or the exotic tropical island. If an anthropology paper were to do crack, this show is what it would look like."
The logistics of the show follow essentially the same pattern as any reality TV show that promises its winner fame, fortune, or a spouse. From those that choose to enter the contest, five finalists will be chosen. Over the course of three to five shows, these finalists will be presented with a series of challenges that test the courage and wit of these players.
With nothing but the infamous green screen to support their fall, the contestants will be slowly eliminated from the show.
"This state-of-the-art piece of green cloth will now be utilized in the most noble way imaginable: It will provide the mise-en-scene for a reality TV show that will pit our fellow students against each other in elimination challenges that promise to be both extreme and humiliating," says BCN's Director of Production and Development Dana Borowitz '08.
Borowitz, along with Bartus and junior Michael Julian, will comprise a panel of judges that will judge the contestants based on their performances. Borowitz will view the candidates with their hirability in mind, Bartus with their marketability (i.e. with the hope that at least a few people in Smith Union will stop and watch this person), and Julian from the perspective of an anchor with wisdom to pass down. As Tyra Banks advises starry-eyed catwalk babes on the angle of their jawline, Julian will route these potential weatherman toward being a one-man weather wonder.
Stephen Gonzalez, sports anchor for BCNews and now the new host of "Who Wants To Be A Weatherman," gave me a rundown of what it takes to be a great weatherman.
"We're all out there to have fun," Gonzalez says. "But at the end of the day, when these contestants are tested like Jesus in the desert, know that there is a reason. Somebody has got to keep up with Mike [co-sports anchor] and me on a Sunday morning. Bottom line: It's tough to do."
The important qualities necessary to do this, he says, are eloquence, loyalty, courage, technique, ability to fortune-tell, and ridiculousness. ("The day I take a weatherman seriously is the day my roommate moves off the couch in our common room," he says. "Since this isn't likely to ever happen, we can't have a square doing the weather.")
In conclusion, this is going to be a heated competition. Those who think the Red Sox in the World Series will be the campus-wide television event of the semester have another thing coming. Because when the weather starts turning dark and frigid, BCN will be on the prowl to find the one student who can look at weather.com and tell us it is.