Note to readers: Hari Kondabolu filled this form out himself. Some may assume the fact it is not written in the first person means that perhaps someone from The Orient called Hari Kondabolu and then typed his responses. In actuality, Hari Kondabolu insisted on writing his own "DJ of the Week" column...just as he insisted The Orient's naming him "DJ of the Week" a mere 3 years after he graduated from Bowdoin. Hari Kondabolu also wrote this note.

What's the best album ever made?

HK: In high school, Hari Kondabolu would've easily said Weezer's self-titled debut record, a.k.a "The Blue Album." However, in college, Modest Mouse's "The Moon and Antarctica" caught Hari Kondabolu's heart, as did The Pixies' "Doolittle." He now refuses to answer this question.

Who's the greatest living musician?

HK: Hari Kondabolu has heard great things about Kelly Clarkson.

What's the best show you've seen live?

HK: Hari Kondabolu's best ever live musical experience was watching TV on the Radio at the Showbox in Seattle a year ago. He first saw them when they opened for the Pixies in New York City in December of 2004. He assumed watching the Pixies would be the greatest rock show of his life, and it was, for a moment. Until he saw TV on the Radio again. And again. And again...

What's the first album you ever bought?

HK: For the longest time, Hari Kondabolu told people that his first album was Green Day's "Dookie." The truth of the matter is that it was Phil Collins's 1989 release "But Seriously."

"Seriously, Hari?"

"No...But Seriously."

HA.

What's your music guilty pleasure?

HK: Hari Kondabolu's first thought was to write A-Ha's "Take on Me." On his second thought, however, he realized how ridiculous his first thought was. How could the greatest song ever created be a "guilty pleasure?"

If you were the dictator of a small country, what would be your national anthem?

HK: Hari Kondabolu would never be a dictator of a small country. In his imagination, he would lead the revolution that overthrew the aforementioned dictator. The anthem of the revolution? "No Rest for the Weary" by The Blue Scholars. "When the colonizer came with the cross and the sword, I blew the first spear and said I declare war."

If you were onstage with a mic in front of thousands of screaming fans, what would you say?

HK: Hari Kondabolu would say, "Everyone shut up! I'm trying to tell my jokes."

They would be confused and angered.

He would then say to them, "I know that I'm an odd choice to open for Fall Out Boy, but these are the cards that were dealt to us. Now, here's a joke about diamonds."

Kondabolu, who was a radio host and student manager of WBOR 91.1 FM during his years at Bowdoin, will be a guest host on Karina van Schaardenburg's show, "Office Hours." The show will air on Wednesday from 3:30 to 5 p.m.