There are hundreds of sex myths out there. Think: virgins can't get pregnant the first time they have sex, bigger is better, girls are more needy than guys?the list is never- ending. My favorite myth is that women are always looking for love, while men just want sex. In other words, women want to be in a relationship, and men want no strings attached.
The idea that all women are hopeless romantics and men are porn-obsessed players holds no water; it never has and it never will. What's interesting, though, is how this myth has penetrated our society, and as a result, how many of us are left confused by these stereotypical roles we think we're supposed to play.
We've all heard this guy gripe before: "She wants to be in a relationship. I just want to play the field." Guess what, fellas? So do we. It seems increasingly common that college-aged women are less interested in being in a committed relationship and more interested in "having fun," reveling in the freedom of not being attached. While many of my friends like being in relationships, a large percentage of them are content to be single and are "too busy" for a boyfriend. And contrary to popular belief, lots of guys want to be in committed relationships.
One fiercely independent girlfriend admits, "I don't want to be in a relationship right now, especially at Bowdoin. There are too many temptations when you're young and in college to be in a committed relationship. I don't like feeling like I have to answer to someone at the end of the night. I like having the freedom to be with anyone I want."
We've been taught by society to believe that men are "hornier" than women. Biologically, men have more testosterone (the hormone that controls your sex drive) than women have. According to WebMD Medical News, recent studies have shown that just because men have more testosterone, it doesn't necessarily mean they want more sex, more often, than women. In fact, it's widely believed that sex drive is affected more by your state of mind and factors like stress and body image than levels of testosterone.
What does all this mean? Girls are just as horny as guys.
On the one hand, we are constantly reminded of the traditional roles of the demure woman and the macho man, but at the same time women are sent conflicting messages about how they are expected to behave. Songs like Nelly Furtado's "Promiscuous Girl," raunchy episodes of Real Worlders sleeping with every roommate in the house, and Britney Spears gyrating on the floor in a belly-bearing tube top send quite a different message. The "Sex and the City" girls told us we could be happy and empowered living the single life, sleeping with a different guy every night. And with almost every popular female vocalist singing lyrics like the Pussycat Doll's "Buttons" (I'm a sexy mama / Who knows just how to get what I want and what I want to do is spring this on you"), women in entertainment today are all saying the same thing: I'm hot, I'm in control, and I want sex, so come and get it.
One Bowdoin guy said he feels uncomfortable with girls who seem so sexually uninhibited or make the first move. "I feel intimidated," he said. "It's old fashioned, but I like to feel like I have at least some power."
Are women today consciously going against the traditional stereotype of how they should conduct their sexual lives? I'm not sure. What I do know is this: All these sexual stereotypes do is confuse us. It appears one of the greatest hurdles both genders must overcome is to stop expecting each other to act a certain way, or play a certain role. Gender shouldn't dictate how a person behaves sexually. Ultimately, bigger isn't better and girls don't just want to be in relationships, they want sex too.
So let's rewrite the myths. I've talked to the ladies and the guys, and here's how I see it: virgins can get pregnant if they don't use protection, bigger ain't bad, but style counts, and guys can be very needy, but call them metrosexual and they sound much cooler. Kind of goes down better that way.