Since Sarah's got the social scene covered with more justice than we could ever give it, and Monica and Vanessa have claimed the fashion territory, we chose to write about look-alikes at Bowdoin. We knew this idea was crazy, but we thought it might just be crazy enough.
You know you can't deny the phenomenon. You've been walking on the quad, frantically waving from Hubbard to Adams, only to find that the recipient of this overzealous wave was not exactly who you had in mind. Clearly, you try and play it off accordingly. No, your contacts or early morning fog are not to blame for this case of mistaken identity. The culprit is in fact the look-alike theme park that is Bowdoin College.
This is uncharted territory for most. Who knowingly signed up to go to school in a genetic Bermuda Triangle? The rules of etiquette, therefore, are nonexistent or primitive at best. Pay attention. Don't say the following: "Oh my god. There is like so an uglier?I mean way uglier?version of you running around on campus!" It would be much better received if you try, "Hi, have you seen the less hot version of you?" See, this second greeting implies that she is attractive herself, and, if someone looks like her, they must inherently be attractive as well, just not quite as attractive. Goal achieved: awareness of twin plus bonus compliment.
When dealing with twin-on-twin encounters, never say to a person: "Hey, you know you who look like? Me!" Calling a person your twin may sound fun?we know we've always wanted a Mary-Kate to our Ashley. However, it could lead to two different situations. Number one: The person doesn't know what to say, because, quite frankly, that's a downright awkward accusation. Then you get offended. Who doesn't want to look like you? Or, number two: The person responds aggressively. "No way! Thanks so much! I think you're gorgeous!" Then they, in turn, seem obsessed with you. Either way, for all future twin interactions, you'll play the game that we're all too familiar with. You'll pretend to be talking on your phone, listening to music, lost in thought, or late to class, while asking yourself, "Is he looking at me?" and keeping your eyes straight ahead.
If you have read this far?we're surprised, but thank you?and think this is old news, we realize we're only scratching the surface here. The topic of look-alikes opens a dangerous Pandora's box. There's the hybrid: Katie looks like Kate with a splash of Kathryn. The baby/sibling: If Kat and Matt had a baby, it would so be Mikey. And, of course, the celebrity: Neil Young at Thorne anyone? (Note to readers: For reasons of anonymity, we can't use a student example here.) We also acknowledge the fact that there are of course combinations and mutations of the above categories and subcategories within these categories. For example, the hybrid celebrity with a twist of sibling!
We are now left with one question: Why Bowdoin? Could this phenomenon possibly be attributed to the overwhelming amount of Polar Bear incest? With the legendary buzz about alum-on-alum action, it is only inevitable then that the Class of 1976 start to look similar to the Class of 2006. And think, probably by the Class of 2066 there will be one standard John and Jane Bowdoin. Or, let's be honest, more appropriately Mark/Mike/Matt and Kathryn/Katie/Kate Bowdoin.
This article is not meant to alarm, but merely to raise awareness. Next time you're sauntering down the steps of Searles and you think you see your roommate from freshman year, think twice before waving. It could be her Bowdoin look-alike.