Throughout their years at Bowdoin, most students develop some sort of relationship with China Rose. Whether they routinely attack the Sunday buffet or have challenged one of their toilets to a face-off, it is the most notorious Asian eatery in the campus community. However, if you have not yet set foot in the big building on Bath Road, let me tell you just what China Rose is all about.
First of all, this place is huge. As you walk into the entrance, you are greeted by a hectic display of pictures, postcards, and paper dragons (not to mention framed aerial views of Bowdoin on sale for $19.95). Amid all of this chaos, you blindly follow the hostess to whichever table she chooses. I recommend that you take a moment to decide exactly what kind of eating experience you are hoping for, as China Rose offers any and all atmospheres.
For a well-lit, social, café-like feel, head past the buffet toward the picture windows, where you can enjoy your meal and a view of the gas station. For quieter and more dimly lit dining, duck through the archway to the right and into the main seating area. There are a few tables to the left on an elevated platform surrounded by half walls, providing for optimal intimacy. But, if you're purely in it for the grub, there is plenty of seating right next to the buffet, so that you won't have to waste any extra calories walking back and forth.
Really, though, who isn't about the food? China Rose does offer a full menu for both sit-down and take-out meals and advertises itself as not only a restaurant but also a cocktail lounge. However, as indicated by the plaques on the walls that boast of its repeated acknowledgment as one of the best of New England, the essence of China Rose is its buffet.
The first line of defense against hunger is the salad bar. Three words: waste of space. Who eats salad at a Chinese restaurant? Not me, though the raisins and cottage cheese did look rather appetizing. But don't fret, once you pass the greenery, an assortment of fried foods awaits.
The vegetarian rolls were drowned in grease, but the chicken egg rolls were drier and mildly tasty. What the crab rangoon lacked in crab flavor it made up for with chewy fried goodness and globs of cream cheese. The sweet and sour pork, however, was just plain gross.
The only soup worth trying is the wonton, which not only tastes good, but gives you the chance to play chef by adding shredded pork and scallions in your own preferred proportions.
The next line of main dishes includes slightly different variations of meats and vegetables. The pork chop suey was surprisingly sweet, while the sesame chicken, covered in a candy red coating, was deceivingly un-sickening. My sensitive taste buds hesitated at the sight of the warning sign above the spicy szechuan chicken, but I handled it with ease, barely detecting a spice.
Among the vegetarian options, however, the spicy szechuan bean curd, served with mushrooms and peas, was rather hot and very reminiscent of Indian flavoring. Bean curd was also offered Family Style, fried and served with broccoli and red pepper.
The sauteed broccoli and szechuan green beans were both cooked to a perfect crisp, proving that you can eat somewhat healthily at a Chinese Buffet. The Dieter's Special steamed vegetables, however, tasted as though they'd been mopped with a wet dog.
The staple side dishes of pork fried rice and vegetarian lo mein were both disappointingly bland, but could be well replaced with the combo rice noodle.
Alas, the dessert table, nearly as futile as the salad bar, offers mushy bananas in peanut butter, yellow Jell-O, chocolate pudding, and various fruits. If you really need to end your meal with something sweet, go for the soft-serve ice cream machine.
All in all, China Rose is what it is. Topped off with a fortune cookie, it's the cheap, crappy, self-serve Americanized Chinese food in which we capitalists love to indulge.